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Yeah absofuckinlutely you should go back and talk to the manager. The waiter did a very unethical thing. It's obvious you guys intended to tip 20% and when your wife wrote that in, the waiter should have come back to the table to point out that the tip was already added and show the totals. Yeah, you should have scrutinized the bill a bit closer, but any server worth their weight could figure that your group was probably good tippers but not that over the top.
Restaurant managers are usually prepared to take a hit. You should go back and demand a complimentary dinner for your family.
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