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A tube backend is not very different than a simple link dump script. You can buy for cheap several decent tube scripts that will allow you to grow to about 250k - 500k traffic if you know your stuff. Then you will have to move to a custom solution, but the startup price is way low
A dating backend is way more complex. The ones you can buy are unable to scale to many members, so you need either to pay for a custom dating backend (lots of money) or have the knowledge to build your own one (lots of knowledge and time).
Here, you should start from a custom solution as soon as you reach about 10k members, so the startup price is not cheap at all.
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