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Originally Posted by PR_Tom
So have you tried simply exressing how it makes you feel, or do you just tell him that he plays video games all day long and it's annoying?
It sounds very parent - child like so many relationships are.
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It's really not. I read a lot so I've read tons of psychology books and I try to always use that "This makes me feel..." rule. He's the only person I've ever known that it doesn't work on. He takes it personally no matter how it's worded. Our therapist has convinced him that another person's feelings aren't a personal attack on him so that has been very helpful. He just says that he wants me to simply tell him what I expect so he can do it. The problem with that is this is life and I don't expect him to play video games between, say, 8-10PM Wednesday through Saturday. We're living a life that has various demands at different times and different days. I can't give him a hard schedule that will get everything done. We just need everything to be balanced.
I just feel like right now he's feeling resentful (albeit understanding) of where I'm coming from. I think he realizes that his desires are conflicting (he wants a family but he also wants total freedom). How he will resolve that I am not sure.