NetHorse

Dear Mr. Felipe Calderón,

I'm planning to move both my immediate family and extended family into Mexico, and I would like to ask you to assist me.

We're planning on walking across the border from the U.S. Into Mexico so we'll need your help to make a few arrangements.

We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws.

When I arrive I expect the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.

2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.

3. Please print all Mexican government forms in English.

4. I want my Grand kids to be taught Spanish by English-speaking (bilingual) teachers.

5. Tell their schools they need to include classes on American culture and history.

6. I want my Grand kids to see the American flag on one of the flag poles at their school.

7. Please plan to feed my Grand kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.

8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.

9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico , but, I don't plan to purchase car insurance, and I probably won't make any special effort to learn local traffic laws.

10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer..

11. I plan to fly the U.S. Flag from my house top, put U S. Flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.

12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.

13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be extremely nice and never say critical things about me or my family or about the strain we might place on their economy.

14. I want to receive free food stamps.

15. Naturally, I'll expect free rent subsidies.

16. I'll need Income Tax Credits so even though I don't pay Mexican taxes, I'll receive money from the government.

17. Please arrange it so that the Mexican government pays $4,500 to help me buy a new car.

18.. Oh yes, I almost forgot -- please enroll me free into the Mexican Social Security program so that I'll get a monthly income in retirement.

Thanks for your understanding and cooperation.

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