I love how they say if you have suffered one of these crimes you should go online to report it to the police.
Um.... isn't the computer usually one of the first things to go in a burglary? So what then? You're supposed to go to the library to get online to report your burglary? But what if someone stole your car? The cops won't respond for Grand Theft either, so how do you get to the library?
Okay, so you hitch a ride to the library, you get online and you're ready to report these crimes you've suffered.... but there's a problem. Someone has stolen your identity too and already filed a false report with them (which will also not be responded to), and has put them on alert for anyone calling pretending to be you, so now the fuzz is on their way to the library to arrest you. When they find you, you're cuffed and stuffed into the squad car, and they find a MJ joint in your pocket, so now you're facing 20 years in the federal can.
Sounds like a solid plan Oakland.
