SENSEX

I know that there are thousands of posts about hosting, but im too fucking lazy to do a search and read them all, so...

I want about 30-50 gigs months
50-100 gig hd
cheap setup, fast setup,
affordable monthly rate
ssi, php, etc... the works!
at least 15-20 domains
im not a techie nor do I care to be. I want simplicity, an easy to use cpanel, basically a server for dummies if you will.
When something goes wrong, I want almost instant support via email or telephone. You must be located in U.S. or Canada
I pay my bills, and am a dream customer when things go right. I do not spam, or do anything else illegal. I dont fuck you so please dont try and fuck me. Ive been honest here, so be honest with me. So... let me know what you can give me,

Johnny-B