GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum - View Single Post - Is there anything wrong with my join page.

DamianJ · 11-02-2011, 03:03 AM

Good advice already posted.

My thoughts, for what it's worth:

1) Header needs to be half that height.

2) Don't say SIGN UP PAGE, it makes it sound like a financial commitment - try "INSTANT ACCESS" or some such

3) No one cares about seeing big logos of the file formats you offer. Swop that out with images of the porn you offer!

4) The i, ii, iii makes it read like a legal document. Just bullet points are fine

5) The copy in the points is bad and clumsy English.

FREQUENT UPDATES! - New exclusive content added frequently.

Now, is that really the MOST compelling USP you have? It's not, is it. Now, aside from the fact it's badly worded, it's not sexy and it's not making me get my card out.

- Exclusive FemDom movies - You get instant access to our entire archive. 5 years worth of the cruelest Dommes dishing out the most depraved punishments

- Hard Ballbusting - Get off on seeing men writhe around in agony as gorgeous Dommes punish their unworthy balls? We've got the very best ball busting beauties.

- Downloadable videos and pictures: You get to keep EVERYTHING we've EVER made. No streaming, no DRM. All the hardcore FemDom films we've made will be yours to keep forever in just a few minutes. Fill in the short form to the right now

- BONUS - get instant access to two other sites, Ballbusting Fantasies and Tyrant Teasers. We know you're gonna love them

6 - Don't say CREATE AN ACCOUNT say YOU'RE SECONDS AWAY FROM ALL OUR PORN, or words to that effect.

7 - Make more of the email sign up. "Free sexy newsletter - we promise we'll never, ever sell, rent or giveaway your details to anyone. Ever."

8 - Don't say PAY NOW, say LET ME INSIDE, or INSTANT ACCESS, or GO GO GO, or DOWNLOAD FEMDOM MOVIES NOW etc

9 - Make that 'pay now' button green.

HTH.

11-02-2011, 03:03 AM
DamianJ Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: A magical land Posts: 15,808	Good advice already posted. My thoughts, for what it's worth: 1) Header needs to be half that height. 2) Don't say SIGN UP PAGE, it makes it sound like a financial commitment - try "INSTANT ACCESS" or some such 3) No one cares about seeing big logos of the file formats you offer. Swop that out with images of the porn you offer! 4) The i, ii, iii makes it read like a legal document. Just bullet points are fine 5) The copy in the points is bad and clumsy English. FREQUENT UPDATES! - New exclusive content added frequently. Now, is that really the MOST compelling USP you have? It's not, is it. Now, aside from the fact it's badly worded, it's not sexy and it's not making me get my card out. - Exclusive FemDom movies - You get instant access to our entire archive. 5 years worth of the cruelest Dommes dishing out the most depraved punishments - Hard Ballbusting - Get off on seeing men writhe around in agony as gorgeous Dommes punish their unworthy balls? We've got the very best ball busting beauties. - Downloadable videos and pictures: You get to keep EVERYTHING we've EVER made. No streaming, no DRM. All the hardcore FemDom films we've made will be yours to keep forever in just a few minutes. Fill in the short form to the right now - BONUS - get instant access to two other sites, Ballbusting Fantasies and Tyrant Teasers. We know you're gonna love them 6 - Don't say CREATE AN ACCOUNT say YOU'RE SECONDS AWAY FROM ALL OUR PORN, or words to that effect. 7 - Make more of the email sign up. "Free sexy newsletter - we promise we'll never, ever sell, rent or giveaway your details to anyone. Ever." 8 - Don't say PAY NOW, say LET ME INSIDE, or INSTANT ACCESS, or GO GO GO, or DOWNLOAD FEMDOM MOVIES NOW etc 9 - Make that 'pay now' button green. HTH.