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If chat traffic sucks it's because the idiots generating it fucking suck.
The funny part is the best way to handle that kind of traffic takes 1% of the effort and / or code as the way most do it.
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"I try to make a habit of bouncing my eyes up to the face of a beautiful woman, and often repeat “not mine” in my head or even verbally. She’s not mine. God has her set aside. She’s not mine. She’s His little girl, and she needs me to fight for her by keeping my eyes where they should be."
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