GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum - View Single Post - Nothing like sitting around in handcuffs for 45 minutes.

AaronM · 04-03-2012, 11:52 AM

So I'm looking over the meat selection at the grocery store. I picked up a couple of steaks, some hamburger, and ground turkey. When I turned around to put it in my cart, the cart was gone. I looked all around me but couldn't find the cart anywhere. WTF?

OK, I guess I'll start over with a new cart. As I was walking to the front of the store, I see this 60-65 year old lady pushing my cart down the aisle. I stopped her and asked why she took my cart. She replied with "I'm sorry, am I in your way?" I told her no, but that she had my shopping cart. Then she says "Some day you will be old too." I took the cart and returned to my shopping.

The lady starts following me around the store but keeping her distance. The entire time she is on her cell phone. About 15 minutes later, I am approached by 2 police officers who ask me what I've done with the woman's purse. Now she's standing there telling them I stole her cart and her purse. They hand cuffed me and took me into the store's security office. At this point they grab my wallet and find my CCW permit then they decide to frisk me and find my gun. All of a sudden, I'm a dirt bag and they start giving me even more attitude.

The woman is still out front and I can hear her screaming about me stealing her purse. The police leave me sitting there while they calm the woman down. At the same time they have security start going over the camera footage to see what I've done with her purse. They also check the restrooms and all the store trash cans.

Now here's where it gets really good...

The security footage shows the woman leaving her cart behind & taking mine. It shows I was never within 15 feet of her cart. It then shows the woman returning to her cart, taking her cell phone out of her purse, then leaving her cart and purse behind, once again, to follow me while she called the police. While she was following me, one of the Butchers found her cart, with nobody around it, and took her purse to the lost and found which is where they ended up finding it.

Turns out the lady was dropped off at the store by one of those retirement village shuttle buses. Apparently she's got some mental issues. No shit? Really?

Pretty funny to have a cop hand me my gun back while trying to explain why he had been such an asshole to me. By the time this all ended, the cops, their Supervisor, store security, store management, and the retirement home manager were all there apologizing. I've never had so many people kissing my ass at the same time.

Fuckers should have at least given me the $54 worth of groceries for free.

04-03-2012, 11:52 AM
AaronM Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: ┌∩┐ ◣_◢ ┌∩┐ Posts: 46,909	Nothing like sitting around in handcuffs for 45 minutes. So I'm looking over the meat selection at the grocery store. I picked up a couple of steaks, some hamburger, and ground turkey. When I turned around to put it in my cart, the cart was gone. I looked all around me but couldn't find the cart anywhere. WTF? OK, I guess I'll start over with a new cart. As I was walking to the front of the store, I see this 60-65 year old lady pushing my cart down the aisle. I stopped her and asked why she took my cart. She replied with "I'm sorry, am I in your way?" I told her no, but that she had my shopping cart. Then she says "Some day you will be old too." I took the cart and returned to my shopping. The lady starts following me around the store but keeping her distance. The entire time she is on her cell phone. About 15 minutes later, I am approached by 2 police officers who ask me what I've done with the woman's purse. Now she's standing there telling them I stole her cart and her purse. They hand cuffed me and took me into the store's security office. At this point they grab my wallet and find my CCW permit then they decide to frisk me and find my gun. All of a sudden, I'm a dirt bag and they start giving me even more attitude. The woman is still out front and I can hear her screaming about me stealing her purse. The police leave me sitting there while they calm the woman down. At the same time they have security start going over the camera footage to see what I've done with her purse. They also check the restrooms and all the store trash cans. Now here's where it gets really good... The security footage shows the woman leaving her cart behind & taking mine. It shows I was never within 15 feet of her cart. It then shows the woman returning to her cart, taking her cell phone out of her purse, then leaving her cart and purse behind, once again, to follow me while she called the police. While she was following me, one of the Butchers found her cart, with nobody around it, and took her purse to the lost and found which is where they ended up finding it. Turns out the lady was dropped off at the store by one of those retirement village shuttle buses. Apparently she's got some mental issues. No shit? Really? Pretty funny to have a cop hand me my gun back while trying to explain why he had been such an asshole to me. By the time this all ended, the cops, their Supervisor, store security, store management, and the retirement home manager were all there apologizing. I've never had so many people kissing my ass at the same time. Fuckers should have at least given me the $54 worth of groceries for free. Last edited by AaronM; 04-03-2012 at 11:54 AM..