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There are literally hundreds of networks out there. Just put together some banners, landing pages, really think about your pricing and what you want to pay out. If you get tons of rebills you should pay out 100%+ of 1st payment if you really want to get things moving.
Then email as many networks as you can find with all that info, link to your landing pages and creatives. If they like the payout and creatives and they are cool with your site they will get you going with tons of affiliates.
They will ask for exclusive payouts and exclusive creatives to help them broker to other networks. If you are really going to hit up every network, then tell them up front you don't want them to broker. If you don't think you are going to hit everyone up anytime soon then let them broker it out.
Don't give exclusive payouts unless they can send beastly traffic. Tell them send x amount of traffic and I will give you exclusive payout down the road, not now. Give them exclusive creatives if they ask, or if you need to turn them down for exclusive payout, offer it to them.
In no time you will be up on all the networks making bank from all the publishers running you. That is unless you get denied from everyone for being an adult site! :P
Don't tell them you have adult content on the inside unless they ask. Just say its an 18+ year old swinger dating site. I am sure you will get accepted somewhere if you give off a good vibe in your creatives that makes you seem on the up and up.
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Go Fuck Yourself! 
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