03-20-2013, 02:42 AM
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Purveyor, Fine Asian Porn
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
Posts: 38,323
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As an ornithologist, George was fascinated by the fact that urine and feces mix in birds? rectums to form a unified, homogeneous slurry that is expelled through defecation, although eying Greta's face, and sensing the reaction of the congregation, he immediately realized he should have used a different analogy to describe their relationship in his wedding vows.
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He swaggered into the room (in which he was now the ?smartest guy?) with a certain Wikipedic insouciance, and without skipping a beat made a beeline towards Dorothy, busting right through her knot of admirers, and she threw her arms around him and gave him a passionate though slightly tickly kiss, moaning softly, ?Oooohh, Scarecrow!?
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William, his senses roused by a warm fetid breeze, hoped it was an early spring?s equinoxal thaw causing rivers to swell like the blood-engorged gumlines of gingivitis, loosening winter?s plaque, exposing decay, and allowing the seasonal pot-pouris of Mother Nature?s morning breath to permeate the surrounding ether, but then he awoke to the unrelenting waves of his wife?s halitosis.
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As he told her that he loved her she gazed into his eyes, wondering, as she noted the infestation of eyelash mites, the tiny deodicids burrowing into his follicles to eat the greasy sebum therein, each female laying up to 25 eggs in a single follicle, causing inflammation, whether the eyes are truly the windows of the soul; and, if so, his soul needed regrouting.
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Mea culpa - I didn't write those...they are winning entries in a "bad writing contest. 
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