Quote:
Originally Posted by WannabeMiddleMan
Dam, you're spot on with this and I've recently experienced this.
I met a girl through a friend, she is average and not my type (a bit too much of a tom boy) but we met and I was friendly, but I didn't spend anytime with her that evening we met.
The next day we randomly met at the same live play and we chatted, was just chilled.
A few weeks later she got my contact details from her friend and she sent me a message, we chatted and I took her out on a date.
I didn't feel any attraction, but I wanted to give her a fair chance so I took her on another date and that confirmed it for me, but she was very keen.
She would give me compliments, she would chat about things I had done, remember things I had said, chat to her family about me, offered to cook for me etc. Basically she really liked me, but I didn't feel the same way.
I wasn't interested, so I would say a few mean comments such as she should date guys that would walk past, she should date her best guy friend, I offered to get her a guys number etc.
These were things that felt terrible saying as I got that feeling in my spine that as a gentleman I shouldn't say things like this to a girl, but I was trying to be mean on purpose to push her away, but gently.
I eventually told her I'm not looking for a relationship, I had to tell her straight as I felt it would have been unfair to drag her along and play with her emotions.
To this day she still sends me messages, we chat etc - and I wonder if this is the bad boy thing you're talking about?
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Attractive women are frequently drawn to the exception to the rule. When you are hit on all day, everyday... you won't notice or care about one more douche bag trying to impress you by kissing your ass. Her defensive wall is up, she won't let you in and its hard to get past.
Act disinterested, and now she's a bit confused and other behaviors kick in and fully take over.
Don't think about today. Think about us 10,000 or 100,000 years ago. Think about us in small tribes of 50-100. Think about what it means when in that small circle of people, and with those limited options, you have been rejected by one of only very few qualified mates.
Deep inside them a panic starts brewing... the panic of being rejected as a potential mate... and then by future mates and having limited options. Imagine how that works in that tribal existence. Everyone knows you were rejected. That signals to everyone that even though mates are scarce, you are so fucked up that you were rejected. I think this basic primitive instinct is at the core of why they start becoming the pursuer when you show a lack of interest. They go into overdrive trying to correct your understanding and perception of them and to make sure no one else see's or perceives the same thing.
The opposite of this is why women are drawn to men with wedding rings. Basically, it signals that the male has successfully gone through the vetting process and has been deemed a suitable mate. This in turn, makes him more attractive to other women.