Quote:
Originally Posted by newB
When I was 21 my dad died of cancer. We had brought him home and had attending Hospice care there. The moment he stopped breathing mom wanted CPR performed. I tried to tell her that if we did revive him it would only be temporary, and he would likely be in pain and not even aware of anything else. Anyway, she insisted and I acquiesced, though I was hoping to be unsuccessful. I got my wish. Although I know that I was right, I still feel guilty about hoping for him to just slip away.
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My Father died when I was 22 after a long bout with asbestos poisoning. As a family we did everything we could to save him, including experimental treatments. In the end, he had a tracheotomy and couldn't speak. he was in the hospital in total misery. I was the last to see him alive.
When we got the call early the next day - we were getting ready to get to the hospital - it was devastating but part of me was relieved his misery was over. Before he went into the hospital I had to help him in the bathroom (even carrying him sometimes) and inject him with medication. Believe me, for a young man in his early twenties it was pretty rough times.
So when he died I was relieved. I didn't feel guilty because I saw the pain he was going through. Don't feel guilty about wanting your Dad to slip away as painlessly as possible. That's an indication of how much you loved him and he would be proud of you for having those feelings. You did the right thing.
Besides, when you see him again, whenever this weird life on Earth is over, he can thank you himself.
