I think tolerance is what everyone needs to work on in this situation.
The lady needed to "when in Rome" at the party, eat what she thinks appropriate and not bring her opinions to the table in a rude manner. At the same time, people need to stay off vegans and vegetarians since they made their choices and it's up to them what they want or don't want to eat.
I look at it this way - I don't like pickled eggs, I think they are filthy... so I don't eat them, but I also don't go around telling people to stop eating them. And furthermore I definitely don't expect anyone coming around telling me I should start eating them. There's a fundamental liberty, if you want, to choose to eat what you like and want to eat. There's no need for anyone to be lectured about their choices.
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