Originally Posted by JesseQuinn

First off, gotta break out of the mindset that women are some monolithic group who all share the same dreams and values.

I'm 37 and no kids. Had my tubes tied at 29 and have never had a moment of regret since. And I live in a country where peeps of both genders look at me like I have two heads when I say that.

I like kids as long as they go back to their own parents after I'm finished playing with them, but to have one of my own? Never felt a maternal urge, ever. Prob helped that my mom did at home babysitting for a spell while I was growing up, so saw what the work actually entails. It's kinda messy and frustrating.

That's not even getting into carrying another human being around inside you for 9 months and not knowing what will happen to your body after. I know this is supposed to be normal but it's horror scifi to me. My point? Some women don't even get to the point of the work/family dilemma.

In terms of being a stay at home mom with no job/career, even if I had kids fuck that ish. I don't ever want to be economically dependent upon another human being, let alone responsible for someone else in addition. I love my partner, he's my best friend and I trust him with every cell of my being but put myself in a vulnerable position even given that? I would consider that a foolish choice. Let alone being surrounded by nothing but baby talk and women talking about their own kids...I would wither and fucking die.

Most peeps would prefer not to work if independently wealthy but the reason we all do is because there are benefits attached. We have our own $$$$, we have current work experience (try going back to work after 10 years at home, no matter one's education) and we get to talk to other adults about shit other than our own families.

I admire women who can devote their lives to raising children. I'm the beneficiary of that (my mom always worked but made me and my bro her #1 priority by a mile) so I know how valuable it is. Just not something many of us are cut out for. Different dreams and values, no one any more legit/valuable than any others

(and most peeps seem miserable as fuck no matter their family status)