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Originally Posted by The Porn Nerd
Personally I HATE the idea of being the one who always pays for everything and have the woman look at me like I'm her fucking daddy or something. LOL
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exactly, you hit it right there.
we can all pretend that money is nothing but paper, but truth is money equals security, options, and yes, power.
I'm in a comically happy relationship (together for ten years, married for two) but I can't imagine having to justify my spending or savings patterns to him, or how it would feel to know my economic security would alter dramatically were we to split. Hell, first thing we did after we moved to this island was set up my resident status so that I wouldn't be kicked off island if he divorced me (initially moved here on a spousal visa).
divorce is not something either us desire but we both knew that settling the status issue was important; to be equals partners in a relationship both need to be uh, actually equal. that's something most stay at home parents don't get to enjoy. Or they do, to the extent the supporting partner determines.
having to ask my dude for cash? ugh, fuck that. do not want.
the same holds true in reverse. I don't care about shit like tv, electronics, speakers, etc but my guy does. his system for tv and gaming is insanely elaborate/expensive and I think it's ridiculous but it makes him happy so cool. he buys that stuff with his own money ergo it's none of my business, and I get to enjoy the dulcet tones of grenades when he plays cod so win/win. I give a lot of money to social causes i care about and tend to put the rest in really conservative savings and my guy teases me about both but again, can't say ish because I do that with my own money.
think about how many potential conflicts over priorities are avoided because we each choose how to spend and save our own money, what's left over after all our shared goals/expenses are paid for. just seems crazy to me that some peeps here are contributing to this thread without addressing the power issue. It's fucking central and needs to be. how many of y'all want your security to be based on another human being?
tl;dr Being economically dependent upon another person places the recipient at a disadvantage, and as you illustrated above, often results in a parent/child power dynamic. I want my guy to know I'm with him because I want to be, not because I've come to rely upon his paycheck.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Porn Nerd
And I think most people are 'miserable as fuck' because they have small dreams, small lives and no imagination.
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word on that. their loss
