Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott McD
Well that's why two of my closest friends are actually at the point of breaking up. Because they can't handle the lifestyle they now have since having the kid.
It's watching a couple like that (who were always very easy going people) struggle so much, makes me think i could easily go through the rest of my days without having all those current problems they are having on a daily basis...
|
the thing about kids is they are very distracting.. first few years is like a retarded quadriplegic room-mate. if you and your wife make the effort to set time aside for yourselves as individuals and as a couple you'll do fine.
the issues arise when you guys lose communication and then start to feel that you are in this overwhelming mess alone. you are not alone... establish a child care network support system.
the primary care giver can feel, become isolated from the primary bread winner as their paths become complicated with the day to day activities associated with either parenting or work. emotional distance is created in the partnership, this can cause resentment and artificial pressure on the relationship.
another issues are the inconvenient demands of parenting, paired with the inconvenience of children's needs. it has been suggested that the resources need to raise children pulls innovation and productive people away from societal contributions, i.e. had Einstein been a better parent, no theory of relativity.
then there is the money, you know that beer you like after work? maybe you don't get that everyday anymore... no time, no money, whatever... so there is a big adjustment.
it all depends on your preferred goal, when I was married, my choice was my professional life not the marriage. I have been single 24 years with no regrets at all.
my daughter and I have an awesome relationship and always have. the child in the long run is more important that the marriage, in my opinion.
edit: you are under no obligation to have the relationship others have, use careful thought and open communication to establish your relationship as you two prefer. and most importantly, personal honesty is in play here.
I avoid people that are dishonest in their marriage and will not knowingly befriend or associate with men or women that cheat in their marriage commitment. this is a sign of deep-rooted dishonesty, selfishness and defiantly displays a lack of concern for following though on an agreement, in my opinion.
one more statement: I once expressed to my daughter that of all my experiences in life, having her as my daughter is the most wonderful and rewarding experience I have in my life, this is true although I did not realize this for years and years.