HairyChick

A local Walmart was robbed of $600 in merchandise yesterday by a “masked dirtbag” according to the local police.

The police posted a story online that had many people laughing. Gotta love the story!

“From the Dartmouth Police Department:

“Calling all cAHs…Calling all cAHs

DPD is looking for some help identifying this masked dirtbag, who decided to steal about $600 worth of merchandise from Walmart North Dartmouth earlier today.

After fleeing the store, he exited stage left in a Ford Mustang.

Though he will undoubtedly attempt to either pawn or sell most of the items that he stole, we are 100% certain that he will be keeping the following two (2) items for his own personal use:

1) A vacuum – because he sucks!
2) New underwear – because he will most certainly be 💩ing in his pants when he sees that his picture went on blast 🚀

If you have any information that can help us identify him, you are encouraged to either send us a private message or call Detective Kyle Costa at 508-910-1755.”

Thank you!”

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Anti-Semites have Small Penis Syndrome. The only known treatment is electroshock therapy combined with cerebellum removal. Fortunately, it’s a tiny procedure.
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