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Originally Posted by TheLegacy
The truth of the matter is that even by a long shot I met my hall pass I would still never do anything same goes for the wife. Though it is interested to learn something new about your partner and their tastes sort of like dressing up or cosplay in the bedroom.... nothing wrong with that.
There is no self confidence issue - and I have no clue where you came up with that - not everyone is wired the way for example you are in how you perceive things for example - a spank on the butt to one may be an assault in the woke culture while someone else sees it as playing around.
Over 13 years of marriage - 5 kids - having faith in the other partner was never in doubt at all. We work together extraordinarily and still maintain our deepest respect and love for one another in all things. I remember talking to a senior lady who'd been married over 50 years and asked, "did you ever once think of divorce?" she answered with "divorce never - murder yes but divorce never". Point was you work through any issue together - create a solution together so that after all the time together you've developed your soul mate.
So again - I'm not sure where you're head is at or why you would even suggest such things - but it doesn't always mean what you think it is. I have a saying I tell my kids - perception is everything - to a worm - digging a hole is far more relaxing than going fishing.
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I get what you are saying about how it could be fun sharing the *idea* of a hall pass as a fantasy. I mean, I understand how various forms of open relationship can be fun as well.
The thing about a hall pass is both parties kinda have to believe they'd never meet their hall pass and their hall pass wouldn't sleep with them anyway, if the opportunity arose.
Or at least both partners have to be on the same page that they are both just fantasizing and would not act on it.
Living in Los Angeles for twenty years, I just knew or met a lot of people who demolished their relationship with a hall pass that maybe one of them thought was just sharing fantasies, while the other was making a plan that was absolutely going to be successful.