Let webmistress amber design & build your site - GoFuckYourself.com

amberwitch1 · 07-10-2010, 03:05 PM

Experienced webmistress offering an array of talents and services to enhance your bottom line. Can build from scratch or use your custom program requirements to augment what you have. Include details, programs and budget with your e mail to [email protected]. See a sample of my work at yourfetishparadise.com.

loreen · 07-10-2010, 03:22 PM

Welcome to the board, Amberwicth

Why is yourfetishparadise.com so wide?

amberwitch1 · 07-10-2010, 04:48 PM

Are you talking about the banners or just the site in general? It can be explained if you could be more specific in your query to [email protected]. Bigger is better no?

loreen · 07-11-2010, 12:11 AM

The site in general, I have to scroll it horizontally. As for 'bigger is better' rule... Don't think it applies here

Anyway, best of luck!
Take care

LongBG · 07-11-2010, 05:47 AM

I really wouldn't let you touch any site of mine if your "yourfetishparadise.com" is any indication of your skills.

Though I wish you the best of luck in this business.

Welcome to GFY.

ottopottomouse · 07-11-2010, 06:15 AM

Didn't realise such massive screens were available in 1995.

Would you like to add a few more keywords, I don't think you've covered everything under the sun yet.

Wiredoctor · 07-11-2010, 06:20 AM

No offense Amber but you need to fix that site ASAP. that is the ugliest attempt at a web design site i have ever seen. You are ruining your reputation before you even jave one....

clicker · 07-11-2010, 06:22 AM

Is 1997 Vintage?

amberwitch1 · 07-11-2010, 06:53 AM

By definition, anything up to 20 yrs. old from the current year is considered classic. 20-25 years old is considered vintage and anything past that is archival, so if we want to get semantical, those are the breakdowns, thanks for asking.

amberwitch1 · 07-11-2010, 07:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ottopottomouse

Didn't realise such massive screens were available in 1995.

Would you like to add a few more keywords, I don't think you've covered everything under the sun yet.

We are brand new players on the block. And, judging from some of the other comments, they don't like us very much. If you have some keyword suggestions or strategies, we welcome them with open ears and arms, if you care to help.

amberwitch1 · 07-11-2010, 07:40 AM

For the both of you izods---Opinions are like gaping rectal cavities--everybody has one. Instead of being insulting, demeaning and vile creatures, like you are, why don't both of you smart guys do something beneficial and constructive---like offer some corrective suggestions to improve the product that we all seek.

This is the first time we have undertaken a commercial site. Every piece of sitebuilding we have acquired has been strict trial and error. No formal education in web design, ditto for any types of computer programming. We are not gifted or fortunate enough or brilliant, like you two geniuses, to be stalwarts of the p.c. community. We arrived at this forum/posting board because our research informed us that these are solid people. People with integrity, knowledge and the ability to assist and point newbies in the right direction.

If the two of you dolts are any indication of the type of flaming we can expect, then we may have erred in our selections. So, if all you two can do is toss personal volleys at our lack of skills, and cannot offer anything constructive to correct our shortcomings, that you perceive, here's a thought--why don't you just zip it real nice and tight and go assail somebody else. Just because you're both "advanced chipheads" or are legends in your own minds, we certainly don't need any of your venomous feedback to further impede our efforts.

I'm sure I could go into your sites and tear them apart and my command of verbage is vastly superior to both of yours. Had I more time, that would have been fun, but then I would be in violation of Eric's rules---something both of you should read again. Its very apparent your lineage & social skills were abandoned when you put down "Grand Theft Auto" and attempted to blend into the real world where real people exist.

Now, I could have posted this privately to your contact destinations, exhibiting a modicum of decorum and decency. However, since both of you wanted to massage your already inflated egos, and go public, then let the games begin. You might be better jellheads, but when it comes to scribing, I'll mop the deck with both of you.

ottopottomouse · 07-11-2010, 08:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amberwitch1

We are brand new players on the block. And, judging from some of the other comments, they don't like us very much. If you have some keyword suggestions or strategies, we welcome them with open ears and arms, if you care to help.

suggestions-

you have too many keywords - makes it look like one of those sites that used to have 9000 words at the bottom of the page in the same colour as the background
stop writing in bold it makes you come across as a pompous twat whether that is what you intended or not
your site looks like it escaped from 15 years ago - if you actually want people to ask you to do work have a look at what other designers have in their portfolio to see what people will actually pay for
not everybody has a screen 9 miles wide and nobody wants to scroll sideways

Maybe you're just a bored troll looking for some entertainment but something of your replies makes me feel that you are actually genuine and just haven't really understood the way things work on gfy.

RadicalSights · 07-11-2010, 09:18 AM

this thread made me lol

loreen · 07-11-2010, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amberwitch1

No formal education in web design (...) We are not gifted

Then why are you offering your services as a web designer?

Tippy · 07-11-2010, 11:03 AM

This is all a joke right, please say its so...

LongBG · 07-12-2010, 04:15 AM

Just so everyone knows,

The person posting on that account is a Guy.. Pretending to be someone he is not.

boduzapho · 07-12-2010, 06:15 AM

I got nothing.... LOL

Lightning · 07-12-2010, 06:27 AM

This is a funny thread.....

gimme-website · 07-12-2010, 10:12 PM

I think your work rocks, I really do xx

loreen · 07-12-2010, 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gimme-website

I think your work rocks, I really do xx

I don't believe you

gimme-website · 07-12-2010, 10:38 PM

Thats why all these programs are failing, they dont take paypal!!
Amber has vision...

LongBG · 07-16-2010, 03:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gimme-website

Thats why all these programs are failing, they dont take paypal!!
Amber has vision...

RTP · 07-19-2010, 12:10 AM

holy watermark

LongBG · 07-20-2010, 05:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RTP

holy watermark

Yes they're clearly going to become the next millionaires made in porn!

atom · 07-29-2010, 12:55 PM

wtf is going on in here? has to be a joke.

VladS · 07-30-2010, 05:04 AM

egm47 · 07-30-2010, 04:24 PM

Bump bump bump....

pornsprite · 07-30-2010, 09:33 PM

I have had a good laugh and I have learned something here today. Don't offer services here unless you know at least a little about the service you are offering.

You most likely don't believe it now but you will laugh your ass off about this thread.once you learn what a halfway decent site looks like.

benherover · 08-04-2010, 11:18 AM

My favorite is the banners. There are so many to choose from!

LeRoy · 08-16-2010, 02:48 PM

Oh my. does everyone see what I see?

trannysphere · 08-18-2010, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeRoy

Oh my. does everyone see what I see?

what you see?

07-10-2010, 03:05 PM	#1
amberwitch1 Registered User Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Great Lakes Region, USA Posts: 23	Let webmistress amber design & build your site Experienced webmistress offering an array of talents and services to enhance your bottom line. Can build from scratch or use your custom program requirements to augment what you have. Include details, programs and budget with your e mail to [email protected]. See a sample of my work at yourfetishparadise.com.

07-10-2010, 03:22 PM	#2
loreen myadultdesign.com Industry Role: Join Date: May 2004 Location: Europe Posts: 12,557	Welcome to the board, Amberwicth Why is yourfetishparadise.com so wide? __________________ Banners, logos, headers, peels, FHGs, ads, paysites, photo retouching etc: my adult design portfolio My logo portfolio: PornLogos.com

07-10-2010, 04:48 PM	#3
amberwitch1 Registered User Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Great Lakes Region, USA Posts: 23	Reply To Loreen Are you talking about the banners or just the site in general? It can be explained if you could be more specific in your query to [email protected]. Bigger is better no?

07-11-2010, 12:11 AM	#4
loreen myadultdesign.com Industry Role: Join Date: May 2004 Location: Europe Posts: 12,557	The site in general, I have to scroll it horizontally. As for 'bigger is better' rule... Don't think it applies here Anyway, best of luck! Take care __________________ Banners, logos, headers, peels, FHGs, ads, paysites, photo retouching etc: my adult design portfolio My logo portfolio: PornLogos.com

07-11-2010, 05:47 AM	#5
LongBG Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Sesame Street Posts: 1,101	I really wouldn't let you touch any site of mine if your "yourfetishparadise.com" is any indication of your skills. Though I wish you the best of luck in this business. Welcome to GFY. __________________ Contact me: [email protected]

07-11-2010, 06:15 AM	#6
ottopottomouse She is ugly, bad luck. Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 13,177	Didn't realise such massive screens were available in 1995. Would you like to add a few more keywords, I don't think you've covered everything under the sun yet. __________________ ↑ see post ↑ 13101

07-11-2010, 06:20 AM	#7
Wiredoctor Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: The Great USA Posts: 1,632	No offense Amber but you need to fix that site ASAP. that is the ugliest attempt at a web design site i have ever seen. You are ruining your reputation before you even jave one.... __________________ Search For Everything In One Easy Portal Big Juicy Nipples.com

07-11-2010, 06:22 AM	#8
clicker Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Virtual Posts: 1,113	Is 1997 Vintage?

07-11-2010, 06:53 AM	#9
amberwitch1 Registered User Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Great Lakes Region, USA Posts: 23	posting reply to clicker By definition, anything up to 20 yrs. old from the current year is considered classic. 20-25 years old is considered vintage and anything past that is archival, so if we want to get semantical, those are the breakdowns, thanks for asking.

07-11-2010, 07:40 AM	#11
amberwitch1 Registered User Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Great Lakes Region, USA Posts: 23	Replies to Wire Doctor and Long BG For the both of you izods---Opinions are like gaping rectal cavities--everybody has one. Instead of being insulting, demeaning and vile creatures, like you are, why don't both of you smart guys do something beneficial and constructive---like offer some corrective suggestions to improve the product that we all seek. This is the first time we have undertaken a commercial site. Every piece of sitebuilding we have acquired has been strict trial and error. No formal education in web design, ditto for any types of computer programming. We are not gifted or fortunate enough or brilliant, like you two geniuses, to be stalwarts of the p.c. community. We arrived at this forum/posting board because our research informed us that these are solid people. People with integrity, knowledge and the ability to assist and point newbies in the right direction. If the two of you dolts are any indication of the type of flaming we can expect, then we may have erred in our selections. So, if all you two can do is toss personal volleys at our lack of skills, and cannot offer anything constructive to correct our shortcomings, that you perceive, here's a thought--why don't you just zip it real nice and tight and go assail somebody else. Just because you're both "advanced chipheads" or are legends in your own minds, we certainly don't need any of your venomous feedback to further impede our efforts. I'm sure I could go into your sites and tear them apart and my command of verbage is vastly superior to both of yours. Had I more time, that would have been fun, but then I would be in violation of Eric's rules---something both of you should read again. Its very apparent your lineage & social skills were abandoned when you put down "Grand Theft Auto" and attempted to blend into the real world where real people exist. Now, I could have posted this privately to your contact destinations, exhibiting a modicum of decorum and decency. However, since both of you wanted to massage your already inflated egos, and go public, then let the games begin. You might be better jellheads, but when it comes to scribing, I'll mop the deck with both of you. Last edited by amberwitch1; 07-11-2010 at 07:44 AM..

07-11-2010, 09:18 AM	#13
RadicalSights So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Europe Posts: 1,595	this thread made me lol

07-11-2010, 11:03 AM	#15
Tippy Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 1,772	This is all a joke right, please say its so... __________________ VPS 1 - 1.5 GB RAM, 10 GB SSD - 11.88 euro/year VPS 2 - 4 GB RAM, 40 GB SSD - 60 euro/year Alexhost.com - your access to the best hosting services VPS.

07-12-2010, 04:15 AM	#16
LongBG Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Sesame Street Posts: 1,101	Just so everyone knows, The person posting on that account is a Guy.. Pretending to be someone he is not. __________________ Contact me: [email protected]

07-12-2010, 06:15 AM	#17
boduzapho Registered User Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 19	I got nothing.... LOL

07-12-2010, 06:27 AM	#18
Lightning Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Maryland, USA Posts: 870	This is a funny thread.....

07-12-2010, 10:12 PM	#19
gimme-website Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Finland Posts: 1,588	I think your work rocks, I really do xx __________________ www.gimme-website.com

07-12-2010, 10:38 PM	#21
gimme-website Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Finland Posts: 1,588	Thats why all these programs are failing, they dont take paypal!! Amber has vision... __________________ www.gimme-website.com

07-19-2010, 12:10 AM	#23
RTP aka Jimmy James Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Newport Posts: 1,335	holy watermark __________________ Jimmy James ATKingdom/AMK Empire Since 1996 - My Movies Home of ATKGirlfriends - Where we take pornstars on trips...and fuck them. Connect with me on LinkedIn

07-29-2010, 12:55 PM	#25
atom Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Minneapolis Posts: 2,739	wtf is going on in here? has to be a joke. __________________ Adult is dead.... Want to push a mainstream product that works? Hit me up at adam @ Natures86 dot com

07-30-2010, 05:04 AM	#26
VladS Developer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 1,426	<meta name="generator" content="WYSIWYG Web Builder - http://www.wysiwygwebbuilder.com"> __________________ <developer> MechBunny / KVS / PHP / MySQL / HTML5 / CSS3 / jQuery Email: vlad [at] faxite.com Skype: live:.cid.8b902b3e7e30c11a

07-30-2010, 04:24 PM	#27
egm47 Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Tennessee Posts: 99	Bump bump bump....

07-30-2010, 09:33 PM	#28
pornsprite Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 1,643	I have had a good laugh and I have learned something here today. Don't offer services here unless you know at least a little about the service you are offering. You most likely don't believe it now but you will laugh your ass off about this thread.once you learn what a halfway decent site looks like.

08-04-2010, 11:18 AM	#29
benherover Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 53	My favorite is the banners. There are so many to choose from!

08-16-2010, 02:48 PM	#30
LeRoy Porn Pusher Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: It's a dry heat Posts: 13,289	Oh my. does everyone see what I see? __________________ JAPANESE CAMS AND CONTENT SITES Skype - leroy.rowland2