Texas VS. California - GoFuckYourself.com

czarina · 05-05-2011, 04:27 AM

The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.

The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.

He calls Animal Control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.

The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.

The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.

The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training regarding the nature of coyotes.

PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the State.

TEXAS :

The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.
The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

The buzzards eat the dead coyote.

And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not.

Chris · 05-05-2011, 04:33 AM

but texas is one of the brokest states
good joke but texas doesnt fit

http://www.businessinsider.com/texas...-crisis-2011-1

TheDoc · 05-05-2011, 04:36 AM

Agree with Chris...Joke is funny, but Texas couldn't afford the round.

Texas is overly screwed. One minute they're beggggggging the Fed for more money, stimulus money, totally f'in broke - the next the Gov is out screaming about succeeding from the State and that they can afford it, pay for schools (which are totally broke) and so on..

Texas is one of the most f'ed up States right now and with the new Affiliate law on the way, it's about to get kicked in the balls once again.

pornguy · 05-05-2011, 05:03 AM

Good joke no matter what.

Rochard · 05-05-2011, 05:13 AM

Funny joke.

I think most states are screwed. It's just simple math - All future spending was planned out on what they expected to collect tax wise, and when everything went out South their income went down while their expense (mostly unemployment) went through the roof.

TheDoc · 05-05-2011, 05:18 AM

Texas is a bit special Rochard... Texas for example had more than enough for schools, yet took stimulus money for schools, spent on the schools, then turned around and spent the State schools funds on other b.s., making it so when they run out of stimulus money they have no money, meaning they have to beg the fed for more while bashing them at the same time.

Very few States are as ass backwards as Texas has become.

Agent 488 · 05-05-2011, 05:18 AM

too long .... didn't read ...

Vendzilla · 05-05-2011, 07:28 AM

for those that think texas is screwed, I can't imagine a state being more screwed than California

TheDoc · 05-05-2011, 07:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vendzilla

for those that think texas is screwed, I can't imagine a state being more screwed than California

They're screwed in totally different ways.... Cali could unscrew itself by one adjustment alone, how it sells/deals with its resources. Texas, thinks unscrewing itself means succeeding from the States, which is dangerous for the entire Country.

LAJ · 05-05-2011, 07:49 AM

Texas is a pretty screwed state. A drive thru the backwoods where some of the most conservative people live, there is nothing but boarded up buildings, junk shops and poverty. But hey, as long as gay marriage doesn't happen, none of the rest seems to matter to them. Oh and Governor Perry is a douche.

However... the state has an oasis... AUSTIN. I never lived in a better metro area in my life. Thankfully we are protected from hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, desert and ignorance with much of the rest of the state. SO I guess in that regard... THANKS.

96ukssob · 05-05-2011, 07:52 AM

i dont think this is a true story...

05-05-2011, 04:27 AM	#1
czarina Webmaster Extraordinaire Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: A beautiful beach... Posts: 10,748	Texas VS. California The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural. He calls Animal Control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training regarding the nature of coyotes. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the State. TEXAS : The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog. The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge. The buzzards eat the dead coyote. And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not.

05-05-2011, 04:33 AM	#2
Chris Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Location: icq: 71462500 Skype: Jupzchris Posts: 27,880	but texas is one of the brokest states good joke but texas doesnt fit http://www.businessinsider.com/texas...-crisis-2011-1 __________________ [email protected]

05-05-2011, 04:36 AM	#3
TheDoc Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Currently Incognito Posts: 13,827	Agree with Chris...Joke is funny, but Texas couldn't afford the round. Texas is overly screwed. One minute they're beggggggging the Fed for more money, stimulus money, totally f'in broke - the next the Gov is out screaming about succeeding from the State and that they can afford it, pay for schools (which are totally broke) and so on.. Texas is one of the most f'ed up States right now and with the new Affiliate law on the way, it's about to get kicked in the balls once again. __________________ ~TheDoc - ICQ7765825 It's all disambiguation

05-05-2011, 05:03 AM	#4
pornguy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Homeless Posts: 62,911	Good joke no matter what. __________________ PornGuy skype me pornguy_epic AmateurDough The Hottes Shemales online! TChicks.com \| Angeles Cid \| Mariana Cordoba \| MAILERS WELCOME!

05-05-2011, 05:13 AM	#5
Rochard Jägermeister Test Pilot Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: NORCAL Posts: 73,972	Funny joke. I think most states are screwed. It's just simple math - All future spending was planned out on what they expected to collect tax wise, and when everything went out South their income went down while their expense (mostly unemployment) went through the roof. __________________ “The choice is no longer between right or left. The choice is between normal and crazy.” - Sarah Huckabee Sanders YNOT MAIL \| THE BEST ADULT MAILING SOLUTION

05-05-2011, 05:18 AM	#6
TheDoc Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Currently Incognito Posts: 13,827	Texas is a bit special Rochard... Texas for example had more than enough for schools, yet took stimulus money for schools, spent on the schools, then turned around and spent the State schools funds on other b.s., making it so when they run out of stimulus money they have no money, meaning they have to beg the fed for more while bashing them at the same time. Very few States are as ass backwards as Texas has become. __________________ ~TheDoc - ICQ7765825 It's all disambiguation

05-05-2011, 05:18 AM	#7
Agent 488 Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 22,511	too long .... didn't read ...

05-05-2011, 07:28 AM	#8
Vendzilla Biker Gnome Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: cell#324 Posts: 23,200	for those that think texas is screwed, I can't imagine a state being more screwed than California __________________ Webair died? Carbon is not the problem, it makes up 0.041% of our atmosphere , 95% of that is from Volcanos and decomposing plants and stuff. So people in the US are responsible for 13% of the carbon in the atmosphere which 95% is not from Humans, like cars and trucks and stuff and they want to spend trillions to fix it while Solar Panel plants are powered by coal plants think about that

05-05-2011, 07:49 AM	#10
LAJ Gingerific Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Austin Posts: 5,567	Texas is a pretty screwed state. A drive thru the backwoods where some of the most conservative people live, there is nothing but boarded up buildings, junk shops and poverty. But hey, as long as gay marriage doesn't happen, none of the rest seems to matter to them. Oh and Governor Perry is a douche. However... the state has an oasis... AUSTIN. I never lived in a better metro area in my life. Thankfully we are protected from hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, desert and ignorance with much of the rest of the state. SO I guess in that regard... THANKS. __________________ YNOT.com - The original industry resource email jay at ynot dot com or skype LAJConsulting

05-05-2011, 07:52 AM	#11
96ukssob So Fucking Banananananas Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: If I was in your ass you'd know it Posts: 12,991	i dont think this is a true story... __________________ Email: Clicky on Me