Retired Swinger couple (I think) was I maybe a treat for the wife????? - GoFuckYourself.com

johnnyloadproductions · 11-11-2011, 01:17 PM

When I stayed in California earlier this year and posted ads on craigslist looking for places to stay along the California, San Jose was one of them. There was a picture of me included in the post that looked nice, nothing overly provocative (the post was in housing).

I got an email from this older girl who was married, she was 62. She gave me a brief cut down of who she was and how she went to the gym 5-6 days a week.... It was agreed that rent would be $50 for a nice garage room and access to the community soak pool in their backyard.

So later on I get there and after unpacking decide to go for a swim. The husband is 62 and it very good shape, weird how chiseled he was (he apparently worked out too)....
After some chatting I realized that the couple has community soaks in this pool and the wife makes an off hand remark about "clothing being optional."

Then I find out the only shower for me to use is outside by the pool where the entire house can see the bather. I wondered if they voyeurs and if they watched me...

As we get out the pool the wife seems to almost deliberately fan her ass in front of me (it was good, but you can only fight old age so much) but the whole hubby thing really puts me at unease.
The following day I was out mostly exploring the area in car so nothing really happened, the wife never made much of a pass after that.

It would have been wise upfront to just ask if they were swingers.

So do any of you have good stories? I want to hear them, think about them, and implement them.

MarkDeus · 11-11-2011, 01:36 PM

Once I had a swing with this girl working as a stripper in a popular club in Montreal(no name will be given). I knew some of the girls working there and one of them had a crush on me and she was in an open relationship. I knew her boyfriend but it's not in my habit of giving a shit.
We go over to my place, have sex, she leave and the next morning her boyfriend writes to me on Facebook(he wasn't even on my list), and I quote:

"So man, how was she? she's slack, right?"

I was a little disturbed, so I never replied and never called her back. True story.

PS: She was slack.

SmokeyTheBear · 11-11-2011, 01:38 PM

i saw a chick naked one time, then it turned out to be a mannequin

johnnyloadproductions · 11-11-2011, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PornerBros

Once I had a swing with this girl working as a stripper in a popular club in Montreal(no name will be given). I knew some of the girls working there and one of them had a crush on me and she was in an open relationship. I knew her boyfriend but it's not in my habit of giving a shit.
We go over to my place, have sex, she leave and the next morning her boyfriend writes to me on Facebook(he wasn't even on my list), and I quote:

"So man, how was she? she's slack, right?"

I was a little disturbed, so I never replied and never called her back. True story.
PS: She was slack.

I've got several stories but on top of that I've got some disturbing stories from girls I know. It's funny how even girls will try to one up you with sex stories.

u-Bob · 11-11-2011, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmokeyTheBear

i saw a chick naked one time, then it turned out to be a mannequin

MarkDeus · 11-11-2011, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by johnnyloadproductions

I've got several stories but on top of that I've got some disturbing stories from girls I know. It's funny how even girls will try to one up you with sex stories.

Yeah exactly! I got this girl I met, she said her ex-boyfriend used to sit on the plunger when he was in the bathroom.

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 11-11-2011, 02:13 PM

Cool story Bro...

ADG

BlackCrayon · 11-11-2011, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PornerBros

Once I had a swing with this girl working as a stripper in a popular club in Montreal(no name will be given). I knew some of the girls working there and one of them had a crush on me and she was in an open relationship. I knew her boyfriend but it's not in my habit of giving a shit.
We go over to my place, have sex, she leave and the next morning her boyfriend writes to me on Facebook(he wasn't even on my list), and I quote:

"So man, how was she? she's slack, right?"

I was a little disturbed, so I never replied and never called her back. True story.

PS: She was slack.

what is slack?

MarkDeus · 11-11-2011, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackCrayon

what is slack?

the opposite of tight. I'm French, and I don't know the exact expression.

magicmike · 11-11-2011, 02:32 PM

loose, easy, what?

PR_Glen · 11-11-2011, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by magicmike

loose, easy, what?

forgot hot dog through a hallway ;)

MarkDeus · 11-11-2011, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PR_Glen

forgot hot dog through a hallway ;)

or "Audrey Hollander"

ottopottomouse · 11-11-2011, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackCrayon

what is slack?

Bucket cunt.

DoubleD · 11-11-2011, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by magicmike

loose, easy, what?

haha "this wizard's sleeve is totally wizard!"

epitome · 11-11-2011, 02:45 PM

Let me go make up a story. Back soon.

Harmon · 11-11-2011, 02:55 PM

I once went into a grocery store. You know, doing the same old thing that I would like to suspect most of you "attached" retards do. Picking up milk, bread, eggs... maybe a gallon of ice chocolate Breyer's... etc... until, that was I saw this old haggard slut shopping down the fucking ethnic aisle. I was looking for taco seasoning in order to fill my fat wife and kids up with a Taco Bell hardshell kit. She was hot. I must go on...

She was mid to late 40's, Hispanic. Tight black leggings, and a tank top on... purple. Tight as fuck. Nipples from here to Timbuktu. Bra? I thought so and would have bet my first born on it, but eventually I would be proven wrong. Double D hangers. Turkey is done, nipples at least a half an inch popped.

I obviously noticed this spicy enchilada before I arrived at my destination. "GAME ON" I murmed to myself within my head. But how? I am just a white guy in a grocery store and she probably has some ex-con hubby waiting for her by the checkout, or at least in a low rider waiting for her outside. "FUCK IT"

I walk up, and gently rub up against her and say, "Excuse me... sorry". She looks back at me and says no problem. We make some normal every day chit-chat back and forth and I go on to explain that I have no clue what I am doing as far as latin food goes... she is more than happy to oblige, with more enthusiasm than I expected.

I ask her is she is attached, and she responds in the negative. I invite her back to my beach house for a cooking lesson. She agrees.

To make a long story short, we paid for our shit and we hopped into my SUV and she sucked my cock. I blew a load on her face and kicked her ass out of the car and went home and fed my kids Taco Bell kit tacos. Yes I washed my hands before making them.

Kenny B! · 11-11-2011, 03:02 PM

Bruce from 4realcash.com once forced me to have sex with his wife, good times!

Harmon · 11-11-2011, 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kenny B!

Bruce from 4realcash.com once forced me to have sex with his wife, good times!

Wife of Bruce from 4realcash.com once forced me to have sex with BRUCE!

Spike D · 11-11-2011, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kenny B!

Bruce from 4realcash.com once forced me to have sex with his wife, good times!

Hmmm, seems like a few other husbands have done this to you as well

MichaelP · 11-11-2011, 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmokeyTheBear

i saw a chick naked one time, then it turned out to be a mannequin

Are you from Quebec city ?

Eric · 11-11-2011, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackCrayon

what is slack?

Quote:

Originally Posted by PornerBros

the opposite of tight. I'm French, and I don't know the exact expression.

Was thinking the same thing.

So basically "Toothpick in the Batcave!"

Supz · 11-11-2011, 08:32 PM

that story was so money

ruff · 11-11-2011, 10:17 PM

There is opportunity out there boys. You just have to learn how to spot it. Nobody wants to spell it out for you. If you don't get it, "you don't get it".

Mr Pheer · 11-12-2011, 02:39 AM

I once had a program owner invite me to a BBQ at his house and he offered me a blowjob from his pornstar wife. It was literally like, "Hey BBQ at my house this weekend, fly out and my wife will give you a blowjob."

Not my style so I didnt go.

DamianJ · 11-12-2011, 02:47 AM

Not sure what the story is here. The OP stayed in someone's garage and thinks they might have been swingers.

Fuck.

Cool Story Bro!

JFK · 11-12-2011, 05:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DamianJ

Not sure what the story is here. The OP stayed in someone's garage and thinks they might have been swingers.

Fuck.

Cool Story Bro!

I think you maybe right

mavruda · 11-12-2011, 05:48 AM

Once I had sex. It was so long I can't remember exactly the feeling. But I fapped to some of your stories.
I will make a short comic inspired by some of the stories here for sure.

VikingMan · 11-12-2011, 09:42 AM

Yeah, I had this happen to me a few times in college and working at the nicer restaurants in Miami. Old rich couples would try to get me to hang out with them

L-Pink · 11-12-2011, 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DamianJ

Not sure what the story is here. The OP stayed in someone's garage and thinks they might have been swingers.

Fuck.

Cool Story Bro!

Thanks for the condensed version, I quit reading when the op started describing how nice the husband looked.

.

Chosen · 11-12-2011, 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmokeyTheBear

i saw a chick naked one time, then it turned out to be a mannequin

LoL

11-11-2011, 01:17 PM	#1
johnnyloadproductions Account Shutdown Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Gone Posts: 3,611	Retired Swinger couple (I think) was I maybe a treat for the wife????? When I stayed in California earlier this year and posted ads on craigslist looking for places to stay along the California, San Jose was one of them. There was a picture of me included in the post that looked nice, nothing overly provocative (the post was in housing). I got an email from this older girl who was married, she was 62. She gave me a brief cut down of who she was and how she went to the gym 5-6 days a week.... It was agreed that rent would be $50 for a nice garage room and access to the community soak pool in their backyard. So later on I get there and after unpacking decide to go for a swim. The husband is 62 and it very good shape, weird how chiseled he was (he apparently worked out too).... After some chatting I realized that the couple has community soaks in this pool and the wife makes an off hand remark about "clothing being optional." Then I find out the only shower for me to use is outside by the pool where the entire house can see the bather. I wondered if they voyeurs and if they watched me... As we get out the pool the wife seems to almost deliberately fan her ass in front of me (it was good, but you can only fight old age so much) but the whole hubby thing really puts me at unease. The following day I was out mostly exploring the area in car so nothing really happened, the wife never made much of a pass after that. It would have been wise upfront to just ask if they were swingers. So do any of you have good stories? I want to hear them, think about them, and implement them. Last edited by johnnyloadproductions; 11-11-2011 at 01:18 PM..

11-11-2011, 01:38 PM	#3
SmokeyTheBear ►SouthOfHeaven Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: PlanetEarth MyBoardRank: GerbilMaster My-Penis-Size: extralarge MyWeapon: Computer Posts: 28,609	i saw a chick naked one time, then it turned out to be a mannequin __________________ hatisblack at yahoo.com

11-11-2011, 02:13 PM	#7
AsianDivaGirlsWebDude Purveyor, Fine Asian Porn Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: San Francisco Bay Area Posts: 38,323	Cool story Bro... ADG __________________ Asian Diva Girls - Exclusive Photos and Videos Asian Diva Girls Affiliate Program (50% ccBill Revshare)

11-11-2011, 02:32 PM	#10
magicmike Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: JustPorno Posts: 2,384	loose, easy, what? __________________ Just Porno with both classic and mobile porn versions. Gay Porn Our mega gay site tranny porn

11-11-2011, 02:55 PM	#16
Harmon ( ͡ʘ╭͜ʖ╮͡ʘ) Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 19,989	I once went into a grocery store. You know, doing the same old thing that I would like to suspect most of you "attached" retards do. Picking up milk, bread, eggs... maybe a gallon of ice chocolate Breyer's... etc... until, that was I saw this old haggard slut shopping down the fucking ethnic aisle. I was looking for taco seasoning in order to fill my fat wife and kids up with a Taco Bell hardshell kit. She was hot. I must go on... She was mid to late 40's, Hispanic. Tight black leggings, and a tank top on... purple. Tight as fuck. Nipples from here to Timbuktu. Bra? I thought so and would have bet my first born on it, but eventually I would be proven wrong. Double D hangers. Turkey is done, nipples at least a half an inch popped. I obviously noticed this spicy enchilada before I arrived at my destination. "GAME ON" I murmed to myself within my head. But how? I am just a white guy in a grocery store and she probably has some ex-con hubby waiting for her by the checkout, or at least in a low rider waiting for her outside. "FUCK IT" I walk up, and gently rub up against her and say, "Excuse me... sorry". She looks back at me and says no problem. We make some normal every day chit-chat back and forth and I go on to explain that I have no clue what I am doing as far as latin food goes... she is more than happy to oblige, with more enthusiasm than I expected. I ask her is she is attached, and she responds in the negative. I invite her back to my beach house for a cooking lesson. She agrees. To make a long story short, we paid for our shit and we hopped into my SUV and she sucked my cock. I blew a load on her face and kicked her ass out of the car and went home and fed my kids Taco Bell kit tacos. Yes I washed my hands before making them. __________________ [email protected]

11-11-2011, 01:36 PM	#2
MarkDeus Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 643	Once I had a swing with this girl working as a stripper in a popular club in Montreal(no name will be given). I knew some of the girls working there and one of them had a crush on me and she was in an open relationship. I knew her boyfriend but it's not in my habit of giving a shit. We go over to my place, have sex, she leave and the next morning her boyfriend writes to me on Facebook(he wasn't even on my list), and I quote: "So man, how was she? she's slack, right?" I was a little disturbed, so I never replied and never called her back. True story. PS: She was slack.

11-11-2011, 02:45 PM	#15
epitome So Fucking Lame Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: St. Petersburg, FL Posts: 12,158	Let me go make up a story. Back soon.

11-11-2011, 03:02 PM	#17
Kenny B! Confirmed Abuser Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Montreal Posts: 5,714	Bruce from 4realcash.com once forced me to have sex with his wife, good times! __________________ Kenny -at- YourPaysitePartner.com Skype: kennyb514 Do business with us: Your Paysite Partner Kenny's Pennies Sticky Dollars Radical Cash Indie Bucks Stand Ahead Read My Ambush Interview Here

11-11-2011, 08:32 PM	#22
Supz Arthur Flegenheimer Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: New York City Posts: 11,057	that story was so money

11-11-2011, 10:17 PM	#23
ruff I have a plan Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Seattle - Miami - St Kitts Posts: 5,452	There is opportunity out there boys. You just have to learn how to spot it. Nobody wants to spell it out for you. If you don't get it, "you don't get it". __________________ CryptoFeeds

11-12-2011, 02:39 AM	#24
Mr Pheer Mark Osterholt Sucks Cock Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: In your AirBNB Posts: 19,572	I once had a program owner invite me to a BBQ at his house and he offered me a blowjob from his pornstar wife. It was literally like, "Hey BBQ at my house this weekend, fly out and my wife will give you a blowjob." Not my style so I didnt go. __________________ King Mark: "I don't welch." <--- and then he welched...

11-12-2011, 02:47 AM	#25
DamianJ Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: A magical land Posts: 15,808	Not sure what the story is here. The OP stayed in someone's garage and thinks they might have been swingers. Fuck. Cool Story Bro!

11-12-2011, 05:48 AM	#27
mavruda porn cartoonist Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Vatican City Posts: 2,598	Once I had sex. It was so long I can't remember exactly the feeling. But I fapped to some of your stories. I will make a short comic inspired by some of the stories here for sure. Last edited by mavruda; 11-12-2011 at 05:50 AM..

11-12-2011, 09:42 AM	#28
VikingMan Exploiting human weakness Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: next to a salmon stream Posts: 6,378	Yeah, I had this happen to me a few times in college and working at the nicer restaurants in Miami. Old rich couples would try to get me to hang out with them