Cormac McCarthy writes copy for Fleshlight - GoFuckYourself.com

Shotsie · 01-17-2013, 06:23 PM

Fleshlight Classic (Available in Three Inputs)

Two holed, taintless, it will receive your violence with gnarled innards. More rests within the clapboard dresser. Drawn up from perdition, a maw with no face that speaks to a man's worst intention. A trio of wounds carved in shame. The potential of a million sons soured in the terrain of lifelike silicon. Gripping tightly or not at all. Incapable of knowing love or hate. It will look upon the proud javelin of Apollo's Kyparissos or the foulest specimen of expelled filth and intestine parasites with the same empty yearning as the clam's siphon for grit.

Fleshlight Girls Alexis Texas Butt Stroker

She came from Nacogdoches, a memorably plump furl of hindmeat that calls to mind the oiled saddle of the finest charro to ride the Coleadero. Subtracted from bone and sinew, scooped from the meridian of her departing manner, it captures the precise contour if not the mien of a human anus. It will grip you like a stabbed man's hands on the throat of his murderer.

Fleshlight Ice (Featuring Crystal Texture)

Departed from soil and stone, from the world of blood and pitiless sky, the spirit has no weight. It is smoke imbued with all the meaning we could ever hope to muster. Watch a dying man's last breath rattle up through fleshy pipe and take form in the cold night above his head. What if we could take back all that we did? All the lives we broke and wronged? Could we put it into a shape like a woman and pour out our sorrow by the light of an old lantern swung from a yardarm? What then?

Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit

A beast lives within us all. A shadow thing that knows our darkest secrets and desires. It pulls at its chain and wrests the tiller from our hand. A man has a choice. He can fire his last shot into the night and descend that dark river with the beast. Or a man can learn to aim his gun. He can fire it true and drive back that night that always presses in. We are being crushed by what it means to be a man. We need help, but can trust no woman born of hide and harrow. Find help here, in this horrible thing born from ten centuries of ingenuity.

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news...es-stroker.php

kane · 01-17-2013, 06:46 PM

That is great

TrashyGirl · 01-17-2013, 08:17 PM

Awesome find...

JFK · 01-17-2013, 08:21 PM

that copy should be nominated for a Pulitzer Prize

adultsitecms · 01-17-2013, 10:38 PM

Yes, nice but 95% of the porn crowd wouldn't understand what the hell he's talking about. But I bet the 50 Shades of Gray demographic will lap it up.

Tofu · 01-17-2013, 10:42 PM

That's funny shit, right there!

TrashyGirl · 01-17-2013, 10:50 PM

Blood Meridian is in development

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0983189/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Babaganoosh · 01-17-2013, 11:16 PM

Fuck fn cash. Scammers.

bhutocracy · 01-18-2013, 12:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adultsitecms

Yes, nice but 95% of the porn crowd wouldn't understand what the hell he's talking about. But I bet the 50 Shades of Gray demographic will lap it up.

You just compared Cormac McCarthy to twilight fanfic.

There is a circle of hell waiting for you.

lezinterracial · 01-18-2013, 12:16 AM

Great stuff. "Suttree" is one of my favorites. I don't think I can bring myself to read "Child Of God".

v4 media · 01-18-2013, 02:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adultsitecms

Yes, nice but 95% of the porn crowd wouldn't understand what the hell he's talking about. But I bet the 50 Shades of Gray demographic will lap it up.

Shades of Gray? Please, I write better than that shite.

bronco67 · 01-18-2013, 05:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adultsitecms

Yes, nice but 95% of the porn crowd wouldn't understand what the hell he's talking about. But I bet the 50 Shades of Gray demographic will lap it up.

50 Shades of Grey people have never heard of Cormac McCarthy.

Diomed · 01-18-2013, 06:06 AM

Choopa_Pardo · 01-18-2013, 07:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lezinterracial

Great stuff. "Suttree" is one of my favorites. I don't think I can bring myself to read "Child Of God".

Suttree might be my favorite McCarthy novel. Child of God was difficult to finish, which I am sure you know why that was the case.

Jesse1984 · 01-18-2013, 07:27 AM

Beautiful. Simply beautiful.

lezinterracial · 01-19-2013, 12:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Choopa_Pardo

Suttree might be my favorite McCarthy novel. Child of God was difficult to finish, which I am sure you know why that was the case.

Yea, I just read what it was about and I knew I couldn't start it.

01-17-2013, 06:23 PM	#1
Shotsie Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: 12th & Tree Posts: 1,208	Cormac McCarthy writes copy for Fleshlight Fleshlight Classic (Available in Three Inputs) Two holed, taintless, it will receive your violence with gnarled innards. More rests within the clapboard dresser. Drawn up from perdition, a maw with no face that speaks to a man's worst intention. A trio of wounds carved in shame. The potential of a million sons soured in the terrain of lifelike silicon. Gripping tightly or not at all. Incapable of knowing love or hate. It will look upon the proud javelin of Apollo's Kyparissos or the foulest specimen of expelled filth and intestine parasites with the same empty yearning as the clam's siphon for grit. Fleshlight Girls Alexis Texas Butt Stroker She came from Nacogdoches, a memorably plump furl of hindmeat that calls to mind the oiled saddle of the finest charro to ride the Coleadero. Subtracted from bone and sinew, scooped from the meridian of her departing manner, it captures the precise contour if not the mien of a human anus. It will grip you like a stabbed man's hands on the throat of his murderer. Fleshlight Ice (Featuring Crystal Texture) Departed from soil and stone, from the world of blood and pitiless sky, the spirit has no weight. It is smoke imbued with all the meaning we could ever hope to muster. Watch a dying man's last breath rattle up through fleshy pipe and take form in the cold night above his head. What if we could take back all that we did? All the lives we broke and wronged? Could we put it into a shape like a woman and pour out our sorrow by the light of an old lantern swung from a yardarm? What then? Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit A beast lives within us all. A shadow thing that knows our darkest secrets and desires. It pulls at its chain and wrests the tiller from our hand. A man has a choice. He can fire his last shot into the night and descend that dark river with the beast. Or a man can learn to aim his gun. He can fire it true and drive back that night that always presses in. We are being crushed by what it means to be a man. We need help, but can trust no woman born of hide and harrow. Find help here, in this horrible thing born from ten centuries of ingenuity. http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news...es-stroker.php

01-17-2013, 08:21 PM	#4
JFK FUBAR the ORIGINATOR Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: FUBARLAND Posts: 67,382	that copy should be nominated for a Pulitzer Prize __________________ FUBAR Webmasters - The FUBAR Times - FUBAR Webmasters Mobile - FUBARTV.XXX For promo opps contact jfk at fubarwebmasters dot com

01-17-2013, 10:38 PM	#5
adultsitecms Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 624	Yes, nice but 95% of the porn crowd wouldn't understand what the hell he's talking about. But I bet the 50 Shades of Gray demographic will lap it up. __________________

01-17-2013, 10:42 PM	#6
Tofu The Video Specialist Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: California Posts: 5,615	That's funny shit, right there! __________________ tofu916 video services - tofu916.com twitter: tofu916 \| skype: tofu916 \| tel: 916-672-TOFU \| e: tofu # tofu916.com

01-17-2013, 11:16 PM	#8
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01-17-2013, 06:46 PM	#2
kane Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: portland, OR Posts: 20,684	That is great

01-17-2013, 08:17 PM	#3
TrashyGirl Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 1,400	Awesome find...

01-17-2013, 10:50 PM	#7
TrashyGirl Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 1,400	Blood Meridian is in development http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0983189/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

01-18-2013, 12:16 AM	#10
lezinterracial Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2012 Posts: 3,003	Great stuff. "Suttree" is one of my favorites. I don't think I can bring myself to read "Child Of God". __________________ Live Sex Shows

01-18-2013, 06:06 AM	#13
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01-18-2013, 07:27 AM	#15
Jesse1984 Web Viking Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: San Francisco Posts: 562	Beautiful. Simply beautiful.