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05-26-2015, 04:19 AM | #1 |
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BREAKING: Masturbating Men Will Find Their Hands Pregnant In The Afterlife
Masturbating Men Will Find Their Hands Pregnant In The Afterlife, Muslim Televangelist Warns
A Turkish televangelist has warned male Muslims away from masturbation - because it may leave their hands pregnant in the afterlife. Mücahid Cihad Han supposedly made the claim in response to a call from a man who "kept masturbating, although he was married, and even during the Umrah", a pilgrimage similar to the Hajj. Masturbating Men Will Find Their Hands Pregnant In The Afterlife, Muslim Televangelist Warns :D
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05-26-2015, 05:28 AM | #2 |
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I am so screwed
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05-26-2015, 05:34 AM | #3 |
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Why masturbate when you can have a least four wives in Islam??
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05-26-2015, 05:35 AM | #4 |
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Will the hand ever give birth or will it just remain infinitely pregnant?
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05-26-2015, 05:38 AM | #5 |
GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!!
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Being that I'm ambidexterous I'm really screwed.
(twins!!?)
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05-26-2015, 06:36 AM | #6 |
Likes Pie
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Yes. It's true. I will have a hundred thousand hand babies in the afterlife. Rejoice!
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05-26-2015, 06:44 AM | #7 |
I need a beer
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I think buddy needs some sex education classes
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05-26-2015, 06:53 AM | #8 |
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Shit that means you have to push your babies out from under your fingernails. Do they make morning-after pills to prevent hand-preggers? And if I live in Alabama, where do I go to get hand-abortions? Planned Hand Parenthood? Is my hand considered my sister? (Is my other hand my brother?)
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05-26-2015, 06:56 AM | #9 |
Just Doing My Own Thing
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I wonder if that means I can get a FleshLight pregnant?..
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05-26-2015, 07:41 AM | #10 |
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Do they have coat hangers in the afterlife? Problem solved.
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05-26-2015, 07:46 AM | #11 |
So Fucking Banned
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05-26-2015, 07:49 AM | #12 |
Femcams.com
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Do feet count as well?
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05-26-2015, 07:53 AM | #13 |
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what if i get hand-job from girl?
does her hand gets pregnant or she gets pregnant . damn i am confused.
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05-26-2015, 08:05 AM | #14 | |
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...
Quote:
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05-26-2015, 08:10 AM | #15 |
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maybe no one ever told him how babies were made
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05-26-2015, 09:25 AM | #16 | |
So Fucking Banned
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Quote:
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05-26-2015, 10:56 AM | #17 |
Jesus loves bacon
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I guess I';m going to have to push my hand down a flight of stairs in the afterlife...
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05-26-2015, 11:16 AM | #18 |
working on my tan
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Just get caught stealing, hand aborted, problem solved.
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05-26-2015, 01:33 PM | #19 |
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05-26-2015, 01:36 PM | #20 |
Pay It Forward
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it moved to your forehead
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05-26-2015, 01:40 PM | #21 |
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05-26-2015, 01:40 PM | #22 |
Access.
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The best thing my hand could ever do I say...
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05-26-2015, 02:08 PM | #23 |
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05-26-2015, 02:50 PM | #24 |
fgfdftre6
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The lord works in mysterious ways...
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05-26-2015, 03:04 PM | #25 |
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05-26-2015, 03:32 PM | #26 |
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I'm gonna make a mess when I get to heaven then...
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