How do you tell your parents you're in the Adult Industry?

[Devious Angel]

This has been a topic on my mind for a while and I talked to Andra, the PR Manager from Studio 20 about it, she asked me how I told my folks I'm a cam girl and such; she wrote an article about it , you can check it out here :
Mom, dad, I?m a cam girl ! | AW News


But what I wanted to ask you, cam people, porn people and people from this industry.. is it the same for all of you?
How did you tell your families about this decision?

[john1975]

my advice, just keep it to yourself.

the reason? Once their pissed off at you for any particular reason in the future..they'll hold this aspect over your head all the time.

"at-least i'm not some sleezy porn star"

junk like that....they'll say dumb stuff to pizz u off.

[Colmike9]

8-9 years ago my mom found out. She was kinda disappointed, until she saw my checks..

[Spunky]

Internet marketing and start rambling on until it confuses them

[freecartoonporn]

why do you feel the need to tell them ?

more you tell, more you need to explain.

nobody knows what i do, except couple of close friends.

Internet Marketing is what i tell ppl, if they want to know much more, i explain them how google adwords works. period./

[Klen]

Originally Posted by Colmike7

8-9 years ago my mom found out. She was kinda disappointed, until she saw my checks..

That remind me to following joke:
A daughter comes to the house and start talking with dad. When asked what she doing for living, she said how she works as prostitute. Dad start to scream, saying outraging and many other things, till daughter says:
Dad! What??? Replied Dad. Do you see that Mercedes parked outside? Yes. what with it?
It's your. And then Dad says, oh Prostitute i though you said Protestant

[TheDynasty]

Originally Posted by KlenTelaris

That remind me to following joke:
A daughter comes to the house and start talking with dad. When asked what she doing for living, she said how she works as prostitute. Dad start to scream, saying outraging and many other things, till daughter says:
Dad! What??? Replied Dad. Do you see that Mercedes parked outside? Yes. what with it?
It's your. And then Dad says, oh Prostitute i though you said Protestant

[Rochard]

Never had an issue with this really. Went to college for IT in California, and when I graduate the dot com bubble burst was in full swing and there was no jobs to be found. The only job offer I got was from Steve Lightspeed.

Don't really care what anyone things. My sister has found god (again) and isn't thrilled about it, but she's got multiple kids with multiple fathers so she should not be one to judge.

[C H R I S]

You work in internet marketing... most people wont ask anything else because they just don't understand.

[CaptainHowdy]

If she became a cam-girl her parents probably don't care about her in the first place ...

[brassmonkey]

hold that shit in. LOL

[JesseQuinn]

Originally Posted by Devious Angel

But what I wanted to ask you, cam people, porn people and people from this industry.. is it the same for all of you?
How did you tell your families about this decision?

gracias for posting this topic cuz I sometimes forget that peeps on the non-performer end of things grapple with the same issues. big ups to everyone living life on their own terms

I do think there's a slight extra issue when it comes to female performers though, if only because all of a sudden we're inhabiting the work of the conceptual 'other'. it is way more loaded to be on the talent end of things

and that can be difficult to understand initially for peeps on the outside of our work.

in terms of whether to disclose, how are you with your parents in general? are you able to be open about all elements of your life with them, or do you have to pick and choose what you share to maintain sanity on all sides?

that I think should be the basis upon which you either choose to disclose or not (both are valid choices). Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is not give peeps more than they can handle. If you think in disclosing they'll flip and that it will cause damage to your relationship, don't go there.


In terms of my choice, I had a lot of experience with breaking news even before I started camming/creating clips so wasn't a big deal to me. It was:

hey mom and dad, I'm still a kid in high school but I'm moving out, here's my well-thought out plan

hey mom and dad, I'm dropping out of high school but here's why and my well-thought out plan

I did both (went to uni as a mature student when it was right for me), and they gritted their teeth and trusted and supported me through each choice even though they weren't exactly gung-ho with either at the time

the step from that to, many moons later: hey mom and dad I'm becoming a cam girl wasn't much of a stretch, or an issue in any way.

I told my mom far before my dad though, wanted to make sure I was committed to the work before laying that on him.

He's proud of me too though. To this day he (wisely) won't visit my sites as my tits are all over them, but we've talked biz strategy and I know he respects my off cam work and the women I work with (which is his round about way of letting me know he's proud of that side of my work too)

key thing there: well thought out plan. you can't drop a bomb without follow-up =)


If you feel you parents would be open to learning about that side of your life, go for it, relaxed and confident and be prepared to answer questions.

This will be new to them and their primary concern will be your mental and physical security. Be real about why you do the work and why it fits your life. Not to prove anything but just to share, so they can know as they wrap their heads around it why this work works for you. Really all they want is to know that we're safe and happy and financially protected.

Wish you luck if you go there, if so let us know how it turns out

[jbvryant]

Originally Posted by C H R I S

You work in internet marketing... most people wont ask anything else because they just don't understand.

Exactly and people will think of sometimes as a scam.

[NALEM]

Originally Posted by Devious Angel

This has been a topic on my mind for a while and I talked to Andra, the PR Manager from Studio 20 about it, she asked me how I told my folks I'm a cam girl and such; she wrote an article about it , you can check it out here :
Mom, dad, I?m a cam girl ! | AW News


But what I wanted to ask you, cam people, porn people and people from this industry.. is it the same for all of you?
How did you tell your families about this decision?

The social stigma is 1000% harder on females, regardless if you are in front of the camera or not.

If your a man, and you tell your father, he will experience mixed emotions, but in the end, he will likely be accepting, proud and even thinking, "that's my boy, he is living out many men's fantasy".

If your a female, and you tell your father, his emotions are clear. It's absolutely devastating.

#

My involvement with adult, as been strictly BTS, so coming out to family and friends was easy. Without hesitation or shame, I shared with them, everything that I do.

[ruff]

You say "I work in Internet Marketing". If they say "porn"? You say "I wish". Wink wink, nudge, nudge.

[SpicyM]

Both of my parents know I work in adult and they were OK with it when I told them. Most people watch porn (or watched in ther life time), those that bitch about it are hypocrites.

[INever]

My parents are happy as long as I'm not getting ass fucked by Max.

[Paul Markham]

I just told Mum I was shooting porn.

[Look Chang]

My family just knows me as a digital nomad...

[Bladewire]

Originally Posted by ruff

You say "I work in Internet Marketing". If they say "porn"? You say "I wish". Wink wink, nudge, nudge.

Hahaha good one!

[eric_wahlberg]

Definitely parents will be angry on first moment; especially Dad. But, if you tell politely they may give their acceptance.

[Devious Angel]

Originally Posted by Paul Markham

I just told Mum I was shooting porn.

And what did she say?

[Gerco]

Originally Posted by Colmike7

8-9 years ago my mom found out. She was kinda disappointed, until she saw my checks..

LOL!, same. Mine became my book keeper.

[Jenny BongaCash]

Originally Posted by ruff

You say "I work in Internet Marketing". If they say "porn"? You say "I wish". Wink wink, nudge, nudge.

This is my answer too. Letting people, who ask me about my job, find the convenient answer by themselves

[j3rkules]

Originally Posted by C H R I S

You work in internet marketing... most people wont ask anything else because they just don't understand.

Yes, exactly. You do not need to tell the whole truth.

[PaperstreetWinston]

Originally Posted by KlenTelaris

That remind me to following joke:
A daughter comes to the house and start talking with dad. When asked what she doing for living, she said how she works as prostitute. Dad start to scream, saying outraging and many other things, till daughter says:
Dad! What??? Replied Dad. Do you see that Mercedes parked outside? Yes. what with it?
It's your. And then Dad says, oh Prostitute i though you said Protestant

good one! hahahahaha

[Relic]

They could care less

[just a punk]

Originally Posted by Devious Angel

How do you tell your parents you're in the Adult Industry?

A cam girl is not a prostitute, so not a big deal IMHO. Course it's not something your parents could be proud of, but many jobs are much worse than yours. For example, we have a saying in Russia: it's better to have a daughter who is a wore than a son who is a cop.

[peter.clickpapa]

Same, told everyone I work in the digital media industry. They asked for details and I started talking about trafficking and other shit they wouldn't understand and they were like "ah, okay, thats something I dont understand, but you work in IT, fine". Problem solved :D

[Klen]

Originally Posted by peter.clickpapa

Same, told everyone I work in the digital media industry. They asked for details and I started talking about trafficking and other shit they wouldn't understand and they were like "ah, okay, thats something I dont understand, but you work in IT, fine". Problem solved :D

Things like ad networks , hosting, design and programming are still tech stuff even if your client are 100% adult.

[NewNick]

Originally Posted by Devious Angel

How did you tell your families about this decision?

Send them a video..
.

[Eliza Miller]

Really good topic! In my case, I choose not to tell my parents. I think they won't understand and I don't really want to burst their bubble.

[LetterTwenty7]

Imagine if they would reply with WE ARE IN THE PORN INDUSTRY AS WELL...Thank God you told us first.

[bns666]

you just don't tell your parents anything...

[nico-t]

there are 2 categories in this thread that aren't alike in every way:

- the women who do the craziest shit on cam or getting fucked in movies
- the people who are affiliates, make sites, do marketing, design, etc.

most people dont give a fuck about the second category when you mention you are doing it for porn sites. Some think its fun. Others think you must be ballin'. Parents generally don't mind as well.

The first one however is completely different. Every orifice of your body is getting filled up on camera for the world to see. Of course you shouldn't tell your parents. You think dad is gonna be understanding? He'll think he has royally failed in raising you properly. Ask anyone on here that if they'd have a daughter, how they would feel about her getting fucked for money on camera... any parent who doesn't have a problem with it needs their head checked.

[just a punk]

Originally Posted by nico-t

Ask anyone on here that if they'd have a daughter, how they would feel about her getting fucked for money on camera... any parent who doesn't have a problem with it needs their head checked.

Indeed and well said

[john1975]

nothings more of a turn-off to 'good' women if you tell them ur in the porn industry.

their conscious doesn't think about the amount of money ur making, they think about how many partners the person's had.

unless you tell them your strictly 'Live Cam' at home type of thing...then not so bad.

[Casie Smith]

Apart from the social stigma, because people are not ready to keep up with this industry, you should just tell them that after all it's a job like any other job out there

[yuu.design]

was not a big deal, they were super cool about that

[SophyDavis]

I totally disagree with all of you that said "keep it a secret". No!!! You should be able to be honest about what you do, it's not a crime, it's a normal job like any other (but it pays better haha). Honesty is the best in my opinion and it worked for me. I told my parents from the start that I want to be a cam model, even if I didn't know at the time exactly what that meant. They were terrified, they had a lot of questions that I didn't know the answer to. But when I found out and explained everything to them, they were supportive and they've been supporting me since.
Why live in fear, why not just enjoy what you do. What if they found out?? Wouldn't it be better to find out from you and not from anywhere else?? Isn't honesty the best policy???

[CaptainHowdy]

Originally Posted by NewNick

Send them a sexy video..
.

...

[The Porn Nerd]

Simple: don't.

[Getfifi Robert]

I told my family after a while. They stopped complaining when I stopped borrowing money lol! The entire family knows now. They are pretty laid back. That was around 10 years ago. God I'm old!

[lys11]

It is more difficult for cam girls to hide it. They can be seen by friends....

But when you work as an advertising specialist or a webmaster, friends and relatives can not even know about it at all.

[EthanJoy]

Your close ones should know because it's better to be open with them about what you and who you really are. If they accept your choice it means that they accept you as an individual.
It's also difficult for male cam models ...

[2MuchMark]

My mom found out about me when she read it in a newspaper. Ugh.