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09-18-2017, 07:09 AM | #1 |
Too lazy to wipe my ass
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A 7 Day pictorial guide to my towns local public toilets.
Well, as I get a lot of fan mail from GFY members, asking me what I like to do in my spare time, to which I always answer 'Hang out in public toilets' I have decided that over the course of this coming week, I shall share my love of my local public toilets with all you good folks at GFY.
I plan to have a shot of the outside of all the main conveniences, along with a brief write up of the pros and cons of each location. That way, should you ever choose to visit my little seaside town, you will have the 'local advantage' and be able to get the most out of your visit. Below is a map, posted on the now closed Beachcomber Restaurant, which highlights the location of the remaining public toilets. Using this map I shall spend the next 5 days, updating this post with plenty of pics and insider secrets PLEASE NOTE: By 'Insider Secrets' I DONT mean pictures taken INSIDE the toilets.They shall remain in my private collection for the time being... Sorry So, lets start of with a little recent history, which should explain how this guide came into existence. Slap bang in the middle of the town are the 'Award Winning' public toilets, situated on 'The Den' (A Large Green Public Space) which are situated underneath the 'Beachcomber Restaurant'. Unfortunately, the Beachcomber suffered a fire in the kitchen a month or so ago, leading to the closure of the towns most popular loos... It brings a tear to my eye to show you them below, all fenced off and unable to be visited in the way which god intended... The highlight of these particular toilets is the sewerage system. The waste is taken in pipes all along underneath the big green grassed area for disposal. On a particularly hot summers day, its possible to lay on the grass sunbathing and enjoy the rich smell, emanating from the pipes below. ground... Delightful Anyway, because of this closure, they have provided an alternative 'Porta-Potty' instead. Rubbish! You can only fit a couple of people inside at once, and its obvious to all when you go inside together, attracting possible police attention No privacy anywhere anymore. The only upside to the porta-potty was the other weekend a load of drunk teenagers upended it, and it leaked all over the tarmac. That was nice, however a poor replacement for the best toilets that I pictured above. Anyway, poop fans, thats enough for today. Tune in to this thread tomorrow when I update it with photos of 'Number 1' on the map, the 'Point Carpark' toilets. A rustic little 1950s building that due to engineering works taking place nearby, currently holds an unexpected, yet welcome surprise... |
09-18-2017, 08:35 AM | #2 |
StraightBro
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That's a big porta potty room for 2
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09-19-2017, 03:59 AM | #3 |
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Toilet Number 1 - The point Carpark
A very interesting and historical toilet. Harping back to the days when toilet activity was frowned upon, this 'hidden gem' espouses all that was great about public toilets. First of all... Its HIDDEN! yes, that pic below, is just the roof
From 'Below' this stone building is a classic example of a 'cottaging toilet' (Those of you in the USA may well know these as 'Tea Rooms') and follows the usual etiquette of ladies at one end and gents at the other. The actual gents is a genuine tribute to this kinda convenience as it has full sexual graffiti all over the walls, and more than a few glory holes between the cubicles. An added bonus is that all the inner locks on the doors have been broken off, so even if you are simply just reliving yourself while out for a walk, theres still an excellent chance of an erotic encounter as a stranger opens the door ! Possibly my favourite toilet of this kind locally, however due to building works taking place nearby, the male section is currently only available for workmen to use, with a strong combination lock on the door, denying me entry... But... Every cloud has a silver lining! Remember in my introductory post, I mentioned this location has an unexpected, yet welcome surprise ??? Yep ! 4 Realzzz ! A GENUINE UNISEX TOILET! The best of both worlds ! So, this toilet has it all really - Glory holes, graffiti, and now a unisex option... However, it IS extremely small so be sure to check this thread again tomorrow when I bring you number 2 on the map, Brunswick Street toilets, where there is room for parties of upwards of 15+ toilet enthusiasts.... ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!! |
09-20-2017, 03:40 AM | #4 |
Too lazy to wipe my ass
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Toilets Number 2 - Brunswick Street Toilets
Unfortunately, at first glance, the least interesting and inspiring toilets on the map. To sum them up in one word, it would be 'Bland'. No Graffiti, No glory holes and working locks on the doors. Clean and tidy and no real atmosphere whatsoever... A truly 'Vanilla' toilet...
UNLESS though... (Top Secret Tip Coming Up...) You have a RADAR key... PURCHASE YOUR RADAR KEY BY CLICKING HERE Once you have a RADAR Key... Then, things are VERY DIFFERENT INDEED ! On the left of the pic, you will see a door marked disabled, that can only be accessed with a RADAR key... But once inside? Heaven awaits! For some strange and unknown reason, the disabled part of these toilets is disproportionately larger than it should be. A design fault? Perhaps, or as I like to think of it, a design feature ! Believe it or not, there is even an 'Upstairs' in this section which is accessed via a hatch in the roof, however you don't really need it. As long as one of you has a RADAR key, up to 15+ toilet enthusiasts can easily congregate in the disabled room at the same time. Some wild nights have taken place here for sure, but always a "good" wild... Never a "bad wild" like tomorrows toilets - Lower Brook Street *shudder* |
09-21-2017, 04:17 AM | #5 |
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Toilet Number 3 - Lower Brook Street
Alas, these toilets could have been the best of all... Their location for starters, is absolutely fantastic... Very nice area and just off the beaten track enough to give some privacy, the footfall past these delightful toilets still remains heavy enough to attract plenty of strange...
As you can see above, they look delightfully attractive bathed in the morning sunshine, and just out of shot on the right, is a Bar with a large outdoor seating area. A lot of drinkers choose to make the trip across the road for relief, as oppose to going back inside and upstairs to the bars toilets... Lets look a little closer... Not to bad at all eh? Modern, functional and in a good location. Whats not to like? Well, unfortunately rather a lot. The problem is the 'other' undesirable clientele... Notice the 'Syringe Box' on the wall, and the large metal roll down shutter at the top? Yes, thats right. Its in such a nice location, that it has become the local druggies toilet of choice and as such is constantly under heavy police surveillance and closed after dark This is a real shame, as it would be a great place for toilet enthusiasts to gather, especially with it being so close to the train station, but alas... No such luck. Shame that certain types have to out and out ruin it for us normal people... Be sure to check back tomorrow though, for a site of historical importance - The oldest toilets in Teignmouth ! Till then, happy pooping |
09-21-2017, 04:29 AM | #6 |
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My ass feels like doing some travelling now ...
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09-21-2017, 04:58 AM | #7 |
So Fucking Banned
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Riveting thread CS. Thanks for the work you put into this guide.
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09-21-2017, 06:57 AM | #8 |
AffiliateManager for Hire
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Do they shut at some point at night?
And what is your view on charging to make a deposit? |
09-22-2017, 05:43 AM | #9 |
Too lazy to wipe my ass
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Toilet Number 4 - The Jubilee Shelter
Despite a trip to my local library, with a long time spent pouring over historical documents, I was unable to find the exact date this beautiful structure was built. Known as the Jubilee Shelter, you could be forgiven for thinking that its in connection with the Queens Silver Jubilee, that took place in 1977. However it has been in-place much much longer than that. Check out this old postcard below, which shows the building back in the 40s or the 50s... Some say it even dates back to Victorian times...
Note also that it is single story. The top part as evidenced in the recent picture below has yet to be added... Now, the building is the Teignmouth Yacht Clubs headquarters, with lots of snooty and snobby events taking place. However the la-di-da upperclass yachtsmen congregate in the inside toilets, which are not accessible by the public. However, the most important part of the building, the PUBLIC toilets, still remain and are open 24/7 Just a simple toilet, with some nice blue wall tiling. Inside, a 'trough' for urine, and 2 cubicles. No glory holes or graffiti, yet a delightful ambiance in place, simply inspired by the historical significance and 'Old Fashioned' odour, due to the ancient plumbing... The windows allow the sunlight to playfully dance over the urine cakes that glisten in the trough... Lets take a closer look at the windows and entrance... Unfortunately, these toilets are slightly off the beaten track compared to the others and don't get that much foot traffic. They are to small for larger gatherings. Unfortunately they also suffer from another design flaw - Distance between Male and Female toilets. Each is at an opposite end of the building, meaning that there is a 50 foot plus gap between them. Simply meaning zero chance of any cross contamination, zero chance of a hole being drilled in the wall, and you cant even communicate through air vents (as is the normal way) Very disappointing So, Overall not my first choice to go to, but a great backup to keep in mind if the action at the other toilets isn't to the level of action you require. Don't forget to check in tomorrow, for the final destination, the Eastcliff Carpark Toilets |
09-22-2017, 07:04 AM | #10 | |
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09-23-2017, 04:09 AM | #11 |
Too lazy to wipe my ass
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Toilet Number 5 - Eastcliff Carpark Toilets
Known locally as the '1st and last' toilets, this is because of their unique location. If you are leaving or arriving in Teignmouth, with your bowels a bursting, these are the 1st toilets that you will encounter. Located in the spacious Eastcliff Carpark these facilities offer a simple male and female layout with an adjoining wall and vents. Also a glory hole between the male and female toilets is 'usually' available. Don't bank on it when you visit though, as the council tends to block them up pretty quick, but luckily more than a few toilet enthusiasts own masonry drills, so we get it put back in quick enough...
The transient nature of the passing strange make this an attractive toilet for those looking for something a little different, but at the same time, (namely thursday Evenings) it attracts its own regular year round local clientele. Cleanliness is not at the top of the list for these toilets, however thats due to nature of the odd 'accident' (or as I call them, 'on purposes') caused by the guy whose just travelled 100+ miles bursting for a shit, not 'quite' making it in time, but this simply adds to the overall ambiance and the feeling of 'You never quite know what to expect' that makes these toilets so interesting... Lets take a closer look... Above, the Gents - A discreet, and slightly seedy entrance, attracts you inside to the customary darkness and gloom associated with this sort of toilet. Again, this only improves the overall experience as you know that you are entering a very special place. One of my favourite childhood memories involve this very toilet. Back in the freezing cold winter of 1977 I can clearly remember the blockage that caused all the toilets to back up and overflow. Due to the fact that these toilets are located on a steep slope, the effluent flooded all down the carpark and froze overnight. What better xmas present could I have poosibly wished for, than to have gone sledging on the glorious lake of waste... Before crash landing in the waste that had gathered at the bottom of the hill, but had not yet frozen... Ahhh, those were the days... Well guys, those are all of the main toilets in Teignmouth, but don't be sad, as I will update this thread with a final post tomorrow. In it, I shall tell you a huge secret that I haven't yet mentioned about ALL of the Teignmouth toilets, and address those comments that people have been so nice to have added to this thread - Laterzzz |
09-24-2017, 09:54 AM | #12 | ||
Too lazy to wipe my ass
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Summation...
I truly hope you have all enjoyed this thread and found it to be very useful, educational and informative. A lot of time and effort went into it, however simply seeing it on GFY and knowing it can be viewed by my peers is the best reward of all... Finally... The secret?
Yep, as its a seaside town, FREE Ice-Cream is served in all the toilets Non locals don't know this, so in order to order, just give a knock on the wall of the cubicle next to you, and in a loud clear voice say "I'd like a scoop please" Personally, I like *chocolate* myself I'm so fat I can hardly fit in it alone... Be sure to visit me if you do... I'll be in toilets number 1, 2nd cubicle down. Just walk straight in - No need to knock - Theres no lock on the door anyway Quote:
Quote:
Thanks again. Its been a lot of work, but ultimately worthwhile So, nows all said and done, what the fuck was the point in this thread anyway? Well, believe it or not... There IS One ! Tune in tomorrow and find out the final post . |
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09-25-2017, 05:39 AM | #13 |
So Fucking Banned
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09-25-2017, 11:34 AM | #14 |
Too lazy to wipe my ass
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The Point???
OK... So... Lets try and find one shall we? Is it about the toilets? My Obsession with poo? or have I simply lost the plot entirely?
Well the answer is (Toilet related pun ahead) - Its all about 'Following through'... For a 'project' I decided to do a toilet guide. I sourced the facts and wrote the text, I took the photos. I set myself a time line (and kept to it) of 7 days. I started what I finished. It is complete. In other words, I totally followed through... So, how much money has this earnt me? Exactly ZERO Dollars! Absolutely nothing at all... However I am retired... Retired from porn... BECAUSE of porn... So, it didn't NEED to earn me any money. I was just keeping busy, and amusing myself... However, it still took a lot of planning, time and effort to get the finished article published, within the time frame I had allotted. Yet it didn't HAVE to be a toilet guide... It could have been a blog, or a tube, or additions to my c4s site, or other promotional work... So my question to you, is this... Have YOU spent the same amount of time this week working on something that WILL earn you money? If the answers yes, then you are dismissed, thanks for reading. But if your answers 'No' then WHY NOT? The only way that you are ever gonna be able to be retired in this game, (and be able to spend your time creating guides to the local public toilets) is by following through on whatever you set out to do... Making a plan, sticking to it, *Following Through* and finishing what you have started in a reasonable amount of time is the ONLY way to get ahead... Lets hope this has inspired at least one person, and if so, my work here has been done Please feel free to vote for this inspirational thread as 'Business Thread Of The Year' in the upcoming GFY awards later this year. |
09-26-2017, 12:13 AM | #15 |
Confirmed User
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I need to go to the bathroom now
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09-26-2017, 05:20 AM | #16 | |
They left the door open
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09-27-2017, 01:40 AM | #17 |
Too lazy to wipe my ass
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Cheers
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09-27-2017, 02:31 AM | #18 |
So Fucking Banned
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I'd love to see you post some bathroom graffiti pics. You must have a great collection.
Like, https://www.ranker.com/list/the-50-b.../brian-gilmore but better. These seem to be pretty vanilla. Maybe some latrinalia https://www.reddit.com/r/Latrinalia/ |
09-27-2017, 02:37 AM | #19 |
Dutch Webmaster!
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I can fap to this!
Finally another great post on GFY!
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09-27-2017, 10:48 AM | #20 |
FUBAR the ORIGINATOR
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amazing ain't it
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11-06-2017, 04:55 AM | #21 |
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Update re: Point toilets closed for the winter.
Just to let you know incase anyone is planning to visit, it is with deepest regret that I need to inform you of a closure over the winter period of the towns only unisex toilet
I believe this is a health a safety measure, due to the high occupancy rates and the maximum capacity limits being continuously breeched by large numbers of both Male and Female Teignmouth Toilet Enthusiasts, making the most of this wonderful opportunity... Alas, all good things must come to an end, so if you were indeed planning a trip to Teignmouth in the near future, and hoping to enjoy this wonderful convenience, I'm afraid you are shit out of luck That said though, I am currently in negotiations with some work crew, and hoping to bribe them for the combination code to the door lock. When and if I succeed in my quest, I shall of course post the code here as soon as I get it. I will of course, update this thread with any all and all news relevant to the local Teignmouth toilets in future. You have my word that I am fully committed to the cause. |
11-06-2017, 02:15 PM | #22 |
Too lazy to set a custom title
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"Educational thread of the year"??
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12-07-2017, 09:07 AM | #23 |
Too lazy to wipe my ass
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UPDATE!!! Permission to use the 'Pavilions' toilets granted !
UPDATE!!! After a lot of lobbying and protesting by Teignmouth toilet enthusiasts, we have finally got 'permission' to use the Pavilions toilets !
The pavilions is a multi million dollar arts center, ( A RIGHT POSH FUCKING PLACE ) that recently opened in Teignmouth in 2016. Details can be found HERE but what we are REALLY interested in is 'The View' That's the name of the Cafe/Bar which contains six luxury cubicles... This is a pic of 'The View'... And, to the left of the pic, under the outdoor seating terrace, are the 6 posh toilets... While its really nice to finally get 'walk in' permission to use these toilets, please be aware that the bar staff are always being nosey, and you need to walk through the bar to reach the toilets. Therefore if you are in a group, stagger your approach, and hopefully they wont notice more than one person entering a cubicle at the same time. Anyway, good luck. This update was as promised to keep you up to date for when you visit. As usual, more updates to follow when relevant. |
12-07-2017, 11:13 AM | #24 | |
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03-27-2018, 04:51 AM | #25 |
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HOLY FUCK Its REOPENED !!! :) :) :)
"PARTY-FUCKING-CENTRAL" HAS REOPENED !!!
Yes! At long fucking last the main toilets at the Den, (The closure of which lead to the creation of this thread) are REOPEN!!! Oh Boy Oh Boy Oh Boy !!! This is Xmas and my Birthday rolled together and come early times 1000! I was so pleased to see the fencing had finally been removed and the door was now unlocked. I intended to just have a quick piss, but after meeting a few pals inside I stayed most of the morning ! A wonderful treat. Luckily its NOT been re-decorated, just reopened, so by Friday the usual smell and ambiance should have returned. As Such, Friday night is PARTY NIGHT ! We are expecting upwards of 50 Toilet Enthusiasts to attend. Fairly Certain it will be a night to remember. As usual, all of my GFY chums are invited, so I hope to see you there If you can't make it to the grand relaunch party, I understand. Here are the regular new opening hours, so you can plan your trip accordingly |
03-28-2018, 04:48 AM | #26 |
They left the door open
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What a grand entrance!...just lures you right in with the soft angles! The ambiance with the high lights must be a real nice bonus as well
RSVP? |
03-28-2018, 12:44 PM | #27 |
So Fucking Banned
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Might join you although it's one hell of a trip.
What's the protocol. Do you just dive in - so to speak or do you have codewords or secret ... handshakes. |
03-28-2018, 12:59 PM | #28 |
Just Doing My Own Thing
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Easter fucking holidays - I can't get a flight for love nor money - Say hi to all the guys for me and give them my number...
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04-02-2018, 01:01 PM | #29 |
They left the door open
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Dude stole your thunder!!!!!!
Photographer captures wacky Japanese public bathrooms | CNN Travel |
04-02-2018, 01:20 PM | #30 |
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When's the Coffee Table Book coming out?
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04-03-2018, 02:08 AM | #31 |
Let's Make Money
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so you really like POO!!!
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04-03-2018, 02:12 AM | #32 | |
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04-03-2018, 02:39 AM | #33 |
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one of the more useful posts lately
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04-03-2018, 04:32 AM | #34 |
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08-23-2018, 04:01 AM | #35 |
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August 2018 Update...
As promised, incase you are planning a trip, heres the latest news on Teignmouth public toilets.
Its BAD news for the Gents at the Jubilee Shelter... Its CLOSED ! Upon further investigation, its being redecorated - *SHUDDER* - I fucking HATE redecoration... That means that all the work we have put in, the poems, the pictures on the wall, the fecal artworks on the ceiling and perhaps worst of all, the invaluable collection of phone numbers, email addresses and names etc, will be obliterated from the walls. The virtual rolodex of 'Who's Who' in the local Toilet Enthusiasts community has been destroyed... Fuckers ! Its gonna take us months to get it all back to normal. Wish these council VANDALS would just fuck off and leave us in peace. Also bad news for the disabled room at the Den toilets. These toilets are of the 'RADAR' key variety, however, the doorway itself appears to have been broken (Probably by a group of over enthusiastic guys who couldn't wait to get it) but instead of it being replaced, this 'SIGN' has appeared... Well this is NO GOOD at all. Infact I went to see the man in the kiosk the other day, showed him my RADAR key, but he refused to let 14 of my 'Personal Assistants' go inside with me... What an asshole! He sad I could go in alone, but what's the fucking point in that? He knew I didn't actually need the toilet, as I had already gone all down my legs before I approached him ! Total Wanker Toilet Nazi Mini Fucking Hitler ! Anyway guys, more updates as and when I have news to update. |
08-23-2018, 04:33 AM | #36 |
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Jesus. I thought you were just joking around with the whole addiction to poo thing. Lawdamercy!
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08-23-2018, 05:10 AM | #37 |
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08-25-2021, 08:56 AM | #38 |
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Impootant Update !
The 'Post Covid' Opening Times have been poosted - Be sure to get them in your diaries TODAY, so as to plan accordingly, and to avoid dissapootment tomorrow... |
01-10-2022, 08:50 AM | #39 | |
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Quote:
Just a quick note to say that they have now started advertising the free ice cream in the toilets, with this sign clearly placed by the entrance to the mens toilets at the point... |
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12-01-2022, 02:06 PM | #40 | |
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Quote:
Just thought Id give a quick video update. I sent a fellow female toilet enthusiast out to make some videos of the ladies toilets in Teignmouth... Above is her first video, documenting the Jubilee Shelter Toilets - Be sure to check back for the future videos I have commissioned from her. Tomorrow - I'm sending her out to film the NEW toilets on 'The Den' |
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12-01-2022, 02:26 PM | #41 |
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OK OK! I know I said 'Tomorrow' but after the flood of PMs I have received, it looks like you guys just dont wanna wait! Well that's cool - Toilets excite me too, so why wait indeed? Above are the new 'Temporary' toilets on 'The Den' which will be in use until EVEN NEWER toilets are built in 2024... Enjoy |
12-01-2022, 02:33 PM | #42 | |
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Quote:
Time for a closer look at these erotic masterpieces ! Again an 'old fashioned' style of toilets, but as they say... If it ain't broke... Well thats my budget used up now ! I'm going to try and get her to do the ones behind wetherspoons, but the sad reality is that eastcliff have now been demolished (a bit like the ones on the Den) and Brunswick Street closed for Covid, and never reopened... Still hopefully that gives you a little more 'Flavour & Ambiance' regarding the toilets that you will find, should you choose to visit Teignmouth |
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12-06-2022, 02:18 PM | #43 |
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Posts: 38,190
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Sob... Sniff... Blub... End of a fucking era If those toilets could have have talked... I spent some of the best times of my entire life in those toilets... I was even in there when I received a phone call to say that my Son had just been born... Met and made lifelong friends in those cubicles... Such great memories... Fuckin GUTTED! As such, I shall 'Shit Shiva' and I will now enter an official period of mourning... See you all on the other side... |