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Discuss what's fucking going on, and which programs are best and worst. One-time "program" announcements from "established" webmasters are allowed. |
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#1 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,167
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The Ultimate Fat Joke Thread
OKay, you think you are so funny, huh? This is the ultimate fat joke thread! If you can make Me, Sarah, AND Tofu laugh, then you have it made.
Make it original. Make it funny. Heck, tell the same old ones over and over again, see how smart it makes you feel :-) We need some sort of prize on this. :-) |
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#2 |
Now with more Jayne
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 40,077
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prize? I will actually try to promote the BBW program you no doubt have in your sig
![]() No, really..I am willing to laugh if it is funny and something I haven't heard already. |
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#3 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,167
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I laugh at good jokes. :-)
going to lunch, i wanna laugh when I get back! |
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#4 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: LIVE EVIL
Posts: 5,611
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The pope, a nun, a monkey and a mexican all go into a bar........wait, wrong thread
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#5 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: So*Cal
Posts: 4,789
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Shok make it a fat mexican, that should work.
__________________
ICQ#: 142295729 |
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#6 |
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: A cat with three legs cannot bury shit in a frozen pond. In addition to that, can you cry underwater?
Posts: 10,633
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This guy was really fat, and the doc told him, that if he
keeps this up, he'll end up dead. So he decided to sign up for a gym. He went to the most sophisticaed, ultra-huge gym, a building 25 stories tall. He walks to the reception, and says - I want to have the fastest workout this gym can offer me, for $200.00. So the guy says "hey - no problem, 10th floor, room 1017" The dude pays, and takes the elevator. He enters the huge room, and sees this beautiful, naked woman, standing in the far corner. The woman says: "If you catch me, I'm yours !" And the guy had a great workout trying to catch her, but didn't get lucky... So after a week, he comes back to the gym, and thinks "if I got that for $200.00, I wonder what I'll get for $500.00..." So he says to the receptionist: "Give me your $500.00 fast-workout deal" -"Sure, 25th floor, room 2599" Takes the elevator, enters the room. Inside this huge hall, on the far corner, stands a huge, drooling, full of sweat and smelly man, who says: "If I catch you, you're mine !" |
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#7 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: LIVE EVIL
Posts: 5,611
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Actually its the monkey thats fat i think
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#8 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: United States
Posts: 2,918
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#9 |
TheHun's Yellow Pages!
Industry Role:
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 3,420
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The other day I fucked a real fat woman...
How fat? After I finished I rolled over twice and still was on top of her... |
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#10 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 4,292
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doesnt look very ultimate to me
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#11 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: LIVE EVIL
Posts: 5,611
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My mom is so fat, I told her to haul ass and it took 2 trips.
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#12 | |
Now with more Jayne
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 40,077
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Quote:
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#13 | |
TheHun's Yellow Pages!
Industry Role:
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 3,420
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Quote:
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#14 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: United States
Posts: 2,918
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#15 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: United States
Posts: 2,918
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#16 |
Too lazy to set a custom title
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 67,795
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My diet's working. I stepped on my talking bathroom scales last night and for the first time ever they didn't scream that I was too fat. They did mention in passing that my feet smelled.
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#17 | |
Now with more Jayne
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 40,077
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Quote:
I am guessing you don't have a front pic of that because I think I might know the gal sitting down..but hard to tell. Seriously. |
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#18 |
Too lazy to set a custom title
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 67,795
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Yo Momma Is So Fat...
When she hauls ass she has to make two trips. When she dances she makes the band skip. When she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her 13 years to live. She puts mayonnaise on aspirin. Her ass has its own congressman. Her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard. When she goes to the zoo the elephants throw her peanuts. Her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph. Her driver's license says "Picture continued on the other side." The back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs. Yo mama's so fat, "Place your ad here" is printed on each of her butt cheeks. All the restaurants in town have signs that say: Maximum Occupancy: 240 patrons or yo momma. When she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton. When she gets in the elevator, it HAS to go down. She was born with a silver shovel in her mouth. She's got smaller fat women orbiting around her. When I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall. She could sell shade. When she crosses the street, cars look out for her. People jog around her for exercise. I ran around her twice and got lost. She gets runs in her jeans. Her blood type is Ragu. When she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu - she gets an estimate. If she got her shoes shined she would have to take his word for it! She has to put her belt on with a boomerang. When she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party. She can't even jump to a conclusion. She went to the movies and sat next to everyone. Her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters. She dressed in a yellow jacket and kids tried to board her after school. When she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house! She broke her leg and gravy poured out. She wakes up on BOTH sides of the bed. Yo'momma like a refrigerator: Everyone puts their meat in! |
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#19 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Blah
Posts: 2,474
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This isn't really a joke, but I was going to pitch a reality show to NBC. It was going to be about making a rich gay guy think he would get to pick the man of his dreams in a contest. Then he finds out is that his pool is fat disgusting straight men you want don't have a problem marrying him for loot. I want to call the show Fat Thigh For The Queer Guy. Also, was going to have the same scenario but on an island. I'll call that one Welcome To Thighland
__________________
If Biff Fucks My Mom... I Might Never Be Born... |
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#20 |
The Video Specialist
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: California
Posts: 5,615
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My girl is so fat, I gotta hold an ironing board across her chest to keep from falling in her pussy!
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__________________
tofu916 video services - tofu916.com
twitter: tofu916 | skype: tofu916 | tel: 916-672-TOFU | e: tofu # tofu916.com |
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#22 | |
The Video Specialist
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: California
Posts: 5,615
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Quote:
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__________________
tofu916 video services - tofu916.com
twitter: tofu916 | skype: tofu916 | tel: 916-672-TOFU | e: tofu # tofu916.com |
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#23 |
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: A cat with three legs cannot bury shit in a frozen pond. In addition to that, can you cry underwater?
Posts: 10,633
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Yo Mamma is so fat.. When she see's a school bus she says stop that twinkie.
yo moma so fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles poped out |
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#24 |
Now with more Jayne
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 40,077
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the Kool-Aid one is cute but I am docking points because that proved to me to be a cut and paste job because unless you spend a lot of time in the States I know they don't have Kool-Aid in the UK
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#25 |
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: A cat with three legs cannot bury shit in a frozen pond. In addition to that, can you cry underwater?
Posts: 10,633
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Your so fat thet when u step on the scales it says 2 be continued
Your so fat the last time you saw 90210 was on a scale! Your momma is so FAT Bill Gates couldn't even afford her liposuction! |
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#26 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: USA
Posts: 3,072
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What is Wrong with a Big Girl?
They can Keep you Warm in the Winter, And give you Shade in the Summer... Aron |
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#27 | |
Now with more Jayne
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 40,077
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Quote:
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#28 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,167
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So far the cartman one is the only one that made me laugh. lol
So, these guys can dish it out in our threads, but are truely afraid of making us laugh? Pussies! |
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#29 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: United States
Posts: 2,918
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The thread talking about all the hog hunter blow jobs is pretty fucking entertaining.
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#30 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: United States
Posts: 2,918
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Quote:
http://www.hoghunter.com hope the milf hunter doesn't sue us. |
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#31 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,167
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#32 |
Let's do some business.
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: The dirty south.
Posts: 18,781
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Yo momma's so fat when she dropped her keys they went into orbit around her ass.
Ah, middle school jokes.
__________________
![]() Hands Free Adult - Join Once, Earn For Life "I try to make a habit of bouncing my eyes up to the face of a beautiful woman, and often repeat “not mine” in my head or even verbally. She’s not mine. God has her set aside. She’s not mine. She’s His little girl, and she needs me to fight for her by keeping my eyes where they should be." |
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#33 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: United States
Posts: 2,918
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Quote:
hell she'll do anything. She'd even do a ******* pic if trying wouldn't break her back and then cause her to sufficate when her ass landed on her head! they call her the sybian slayer because she can completely destroy one in less than 60 seconds. |
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#34 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Somewhere Between Here & There
Posts: 1,265
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A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."
When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?" The blonde nodded, "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor. "No, from skipping." |
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#35 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Somewhere Between Here & There
Posts: 1,265
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A Fat Joke
This guy was really fat, and the doc told him, that if he keeps this up, he'll end up dead. So he decided to sign up for a gym. He went to the most sophisticaed, ultra-huge gym, a building 25 stories tall. He walks to the reception, and says - I want to have the fastest workout this gym can offer me, for $200.00. So the guy says "hey - no problem, 10th floor, room 1017" The dude pays, and takes the elevator. He enters the huge room, and sees this beautiful, naked woman, standing in the far corner. The woman says: "If you catch me, I'm yours !" And the guy had a great workout trying to catch her, but didn't get lucky... So after a week, he comes back to the gym, and thinks "if I got that for $200.00, I wonder what I'll get for $500.00..." So he says to the receptionist: "Give me your $500.00 fast-workout deal" -"Sure, 25th floor, room 2599" Takes the elevator, enters the room. Inside this huge hall, on the far corner, stands a huge, drooling, full of sweat and smelly man, who says: "If I catch you, you're mine !" |
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#36 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,167
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Quote:
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#37 |
We need more free porn
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Montreal
Posts: 16,356
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#38 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Somewhere Between Here & There
Posts: 1,265
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Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."
Judy has so many double chins she looks like she is staring at you over a pile of pancakes. |
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#39 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 8,713
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Quote:
__________________
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#40 |
Now with more Jayne
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 40,077
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wimps
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#41 | |
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: A cat with three legs cannot bury shit in a frozen pond. In addition to that, can you cry underwater?
Posts: 10,633
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Quote:
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#42 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,167
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Yall suck.
Yall royally suck. We just ask you to prove that you can make jokes about fat people, and you cant. |
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#43 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: 137771650 Minneapolis MN
Posts: 2,357
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I got one
Hey ya fat fuck |
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#44 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: United States
Posts: 2,918
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Quote:
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#45 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Sin City
Posts: 1,062
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#46 | |
Not making A Comeback
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 10,218
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Quote:
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#47 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: 137771650 Minneapolis MN
Posts: 2,357
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Quote:
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#48 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,411
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My girlfriend asked me if the dress she was wearing made her look fat.
I said, no sweetie, its your fat that makes you look fat. |
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#49 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 5,193
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Yo mama is so fat she needs 2 chair to sit!
- Hank Hill |
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#50 |
Tap into MOBILE!
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 11,779
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Yo mama's so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.
Yo mama's so fat, but I fucked her anyway. Yo mama's so fat, Dr. Martens had to kill 3 cows just to make her a pair of shoes. Yo mama's so fat, even God couldn't raise her spirits. Yo mama's so fat, even her shadow has stretch marks. Yo mama's so fat, even Richard Simmons laughs at her. those are some good ones |
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