Things you learn from watching porn - GoFuckYourself.com

bashbug · 03-18-2008, 09:38 AM

Women wear high heels to bed.

Men are never impotent.

When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he fucks her.

Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with spunk.

Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle-aged men.

Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blow job.

Women always orgasm when men do.

A blow job will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

All women are noisy fucks.

People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

Those tits are real.

A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

Men always groan 'OH YEAH' when they cum.
If there is two of them they 'high five' each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)

Double penetration makes women smile.

Asian men don't exist.

If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

There's a plot.

When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the ass.

Nurses suck patients cocks.

Men always pull out.

When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking both of you.

Women never have headaches.

When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to 'suck it'

Assholes are clean.

A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's pants and find a cock there.

Men don't have to beg.

When standing during a blow job, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

Pigtails = handlebars.

firecracker · 03-18-2008, 09:54 AM

I love this post, made me laugh!

AdPatron · 03-18-2008, 09:56 AM

HAHA that was great!! Thanks! Looks like you have done your research! lol

yuu.design · 03-18-2008, 10:00 AM

Elli · 03-18-2008, 10:27 AM

"Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's pants and find a cock there. "

So very, very true!

Jens Van Assterdam · 03-18-2008, 10:29 AM

Assholes are clean.

munki · 03-18-2008, 10:32 AM

Kard63 · 03-18-2008, 10:33 AM

At least half of those are true in my world. Damn, this thread made me feel good about life.

Xniphobe · 03-18-2008, 10:35 AM

You had to watch porn to learn all of that??? Pshhh...I've always known that stuff...chalk it up to good instincts I guess

lbc213 · 03-18-2008, 10:37 AM

LOL, quality post.

Gary_TLX · 03-18-2008, 11:02 AM

So true!

LeRoy · 03-18-2008, 11:03 AM

Nice one those are sooooo true

martinsc · 03-18-2008, 11:26 AM

pornguy · 03-18-2008, 11:27 AM

This is one of the best posts I have seen in some time.

GAMEFINEST · 03-18-2008, 11:38 AM

I love asian babes

Eva PSC · 03-18-2008, 11:47 AM

porn is such a fantasy... why nobody likes real life sex?

PPjohn · 03-18-2008, 12:13 PM

hehe nice

corbu · 03-18-2008, 12:51 PM

damn straight. i tell my girl if she aint on the rag she better be wearing a thong

GirlsOnYou · 03-18-2008, 01:45 PM

Awesome post indeed!

bobby666 · 03-18-2008, 01:52 PM

this thread rocks!

tony286 · 03-18-2008, 01:55 PM

very funny

nAtuRaLbEautY · 03-18-2008, 02:23 PM

definitely right and true!!!

Violetta · 03-18-2008, 02:31 PM

old, but great!

calista · 03-18-2008, 03:37 PM

Nice post.. Thanks for sharing..

Octopus · 03-19-2008, 01:54 AM

Good post

Angry Jew Cat - Banned for Life · 03-19-2008, 01:58 AM

timeline?

papill0n · 03-19-2008, 01:59 AM

I lol'd!!!!!!

qxm · 03-19-2008, 02:03 AM

gr8 post m8.........

Gunni · 03-19-2008, 02:32 AM

Quote:

When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the ass

This one is completely true!

viencarl · 03-19-2008, 04:54 AM

nice info

03-18-2008, 09:38 AM	#1
bashbug Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Boston Posts: 929	Things you learn from watching porn Women wear high heels to bed. Men are never impotent. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he fucks her. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with spunk. Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle-aged men. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blow job. Women always orgasm when men do. A blow job will always get a woman off a speeding ticket. All women are noisy fucks. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background. Those tits are real. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt. Men always groan 'OH YEAH' when they cum. If there is two of them they 'high five' each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!) Double penetration makes women smile. Asian men don't exist. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth. There's a plot. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the ass. Nurses suck patients cocks. Men always pull out. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking both of you. Women never have headaches. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to 'suck it' Assholes are clean. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's pants and find a cock there. Men don't have to beg. When standing during a blow job, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip. Pigtails = handlebars.

03-18-2008, 10:00 AM	#4
yuu.design Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Argentina Posts: 25,924	__________________ Beautiful And Usable Web Design Creations For The Adult Industry Since 2003 I'm Yuu, Designer and Content Producer Paysites - Affiliate Programs - Dating & Cam Sites - Mainstream Projects - Tube Sites - Banners - Wordpress Themes - NATs integration - Landing Pages Check my Portfolio and Content Production Offers

03-18-2008, 10:27 AM	#5
Elli Reach for those stars! Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 17,991	"Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's pants and find a cock there. " So very, very true! __________________ email: [email protected]

03-18-2008, 10:29 AM	#6
Jens Van Assterdam The Dupre Pimp Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Koh Samui Posts: 6,677	Assholes are clean. __________________ Read TOS for signature rules

03-18-2008, 10:32 AM	#7
munki Do Fun Shit. Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: OC Posts: 13,393	__________________ “I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.” -Oscar Wilde

03-18-2008, 09:54 AM	#2
firecracker Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Sacramento ca Posts: 653	I love this post, made me laugh!

03-18-2008, 09:56 AM	#3
AdPatron No commissions, no fees. Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: USA Posts: 17,706	HAHA that was great!! Thanks! Looks like you have done your research! lol

03-18-2008, 10:33 AM	#8
Kard63 Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: 237 619 975 Posts: 8,944	At least half of those are true in my world. Damn, this thread made me feel good about life. __________________

03-18-2008, 10:35 AM	#9
Xniphobe Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: I forget Posts: 295	You had to watch porn to learn all of that??? Pshhh...I've always known that stuff...chalk it up to good instincts I guess

03-18-2008, 10:37 AM	#10
lbc213 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Middlesbrough UK Posts: 2,673	LOL, quality post. __________________ Cheap Hosting Deals BUY \| SELL \| TRADE

03-18-2008, 11:02 AM	#11
Gary_TLX Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Budapest Posts: 776	So true! __________________ Quality custom exclusive content: ICQ: 286786153 email: contact(at)tlxproductions(dot)com

03-18-2008, 11:03 AM	#12
LeRoy Porn Pusher Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: It's a dry heat Posts: 13,339	Nice one those are sooooo true __________________ JAPANESE CAMS AND CONTENT SITES Teams - leroy.rowland2 Telegram - @lroddd

03-18-2008, 11:26 AM	#13
martinsc Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: 127.0.0.1 Posts: 27,047	__________________ Make Money

03-18-2008, 11:27 AM	#14
pornguy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Homeless Posts: 62,911	This is one of the best posts I have seen in some time. __________________ PornGuy skype me pornguy_epic AmateurDough The Hottes Shemales online! TChicks.com \| Angeles Cid \| Mariana Cordoba \| MAILERS WELCOME!

03-18-2008, 11:38 AM	#15
GAMEFINEST Make STACK$ Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: sexy time Posts: 14,430	I love asian babes __________________ Compound interest.

03-18-2008, 11:47 AM	#16
Eva PSC Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Toronto Posts: 994	porn is such a fantasy... why nobody likes real life sex? __________________ www.PinkStarCash.com Eva ICQ: 225 740 053 See who I am at AdultWho'sWho!

03-18-2008, 12:13 PM	#17
PPjohn Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 871	hehe nice

03-18-2008, 12:51 PM	#18
corbu Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: los angeles Posts: 1,461	damn straight. i tell my girl if she aint on the rag she better be wearing a thong __________________ Katie Ayanami

03-18-2008, 01:45 PM	#19
GirlsOnYou Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 617	Awesome post indeed! __________________ * Selling my adult sites. Email: furaldbullon48aol9com - Replace 48 with @ and 9 with .

03-18-2008, 01:52 PM	#20
bobby666 boots are my religion Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Heart of europe Posts: 21,765	this thread rocks! __________________

03-18-2008, 01:55 PM	#21
tony286 lurker Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: atlanta Posts: 57,021	very funny

03-18-2008, 02:23 PM	#22
nAtuRaLbEautY Confirmed User Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 6,107	definitely right and true!!! __________________ Prime Outsourcing│offshore solutions│manual labor│staff leasing│full time employees starting at $695.00/month=managed and dedicated \| icq: 309570461 \| live chat

03-18-2008, 02:31 PM	#23
Violetta Affiliate Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 28,735	old, but great! __________________ M&A Queen

03-18-2008, 03:37 PM	#24
calista Registered User Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 88	Nice post.. Thanks for sharing..

03-19-2008, 01:54 AM	#25
Octopus Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 1,436	Good post

03-19-2008, 01:58 AM	#26
Angry Jew Cat - Banned for Life (felis madjewicus) Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: In Mom & Dad's Basement Posts: 20,368	timeline?

03-19-2008, 01:59 AM	#27
papill0n Unregistered Abuser Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 15,547	I lol'd!!!!!!

03-19-2008, 02:03 AM	#28
qxm Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: NoHo Posts: 5,970	gr8 post m8......... __________________ ICQ: 266990876

03-19-2008, 04:54 AM	#30
viencarl Confirmed User Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 4,234	nice info __________________ Tubebingo Tube Profiles NSA Cams Free Teen Porn Blog Teen Boobs Blog Webcam Sex Post Younger Babes Blog Interracial Sexguide Asian Models Blog Sugar Babes Blog Woman Single Hardcore Sexpost Showbiz Pimp Teen Nude Blog Anime Babes Blog Teen Panties Blog Hot Babes Pimp My Daily Teen Blog Teen Bikini Blog Tubebingo Blog