Help! I've been entered into a Government System and my parents DNA will be altered! - GoFuckYourself.com

02-22-2009, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Me: Can I help you?
Install Shield: i need teen content galleries and tv stories
Me: You must have me confused with someone else.
Install Shield: what is your domain site?
Me: I don't have an affiliate program
Install Shield: have you taken photographs?
Me: No, I'm an affiliate myself. All I do is promote sites.
Install Shield: i thought you said you werent an affiliate site
Install Shield: whats your promotion site?
Me: I'm an affiliate, not an affiliate program.
Install Shield: Are you based in the United States?
Me: Yes. What's with the 20 questions?
Install Shield: You are entering an Official United States Government System, which may be used only for authorized purposes. The Government may monitor and audit usage of this system, and all persons are hereby notified that use of this system constitutes consent to such monitoring and auditing. Unauthorized attempts to upload information and/or change information on these web sites are strictly prohibited and are subject to prosecution under the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act of 1986 and Title 18 U.S.C. Sec.1001 and 1030.
Me: Haha. Fail.
Me: So if I'm entered, what name did you put me under? Killswitch Engage?
Install Shield: No, the GPS on your cell phone
Me: Really? What's my cell number?
Me: Were you on the set of Terminator 2?
Me: By the looks of a quick google search, you're bat shit crazy.
Install Shield: Phone: +011.8664523021
Me: Fail.
Me: +011 what country is that? Lol.
Install Shield: im going to make sure your children suffer
Me: I have no children, epic fail.
Me: http://twitter.com/LamportWendy
Me: LOL
Install Shield: Enjoy county
Me: I sure will, once you figure out what County I'm in, haha.
Me: You don't even know what state I'm in.
Me: Hell you don't even have my correct cell.
Me: You a big Melissa Etheridge fan?
Install Shield: PMB 368, 14150 NE 20th St - F1haha C/O JUGGCASH.COMhaha Bellevue, WA 98007haha USAdministrative Contact:haha Whois Privacy Protection Service, Inc.haha Whois Agent (tfvhh***[email protected])haha +1.4252740657haha Fax: +1.4256960234haha PMB 368, 14150 NE 20th St - F1haha C/O JUGGCASH.COMhaha Bellevue, WA 98007haha US
Me: Lol.
Install Shield: You're going to jail.
Me: You think I own JuggCash?
Install Shield: You're going to jail
Me: I could only wish.
Me: Brazzers is a pimp ass company, they make me quite a bit of money.
Install Shield: WIshes cum true shitstain.
Me: LOL
Me: Epic Failure.
Me: So what's your GFY nick so I can LOL at you there too.
Me: Because I assume you think I own JuggCash because I have it linked in my sig.
Install Shield: what does it matter, all your data belonged to the FBI
Me: My data?
Me: What's my name?
Install Shield: IS your family there?ha WHere do you parents live?ha Bet they like IRS audits
Me: My family is not here sorry. My mom is probably at home, waiting for the FBI to bust down my house.
Me: Did you know the whois info you gave me for JuggCash is for a company based out of Canada?
Me: Did you know +011 is for Canada?
Install Shield: We dont need to bust down the door.ha We just need to alter their DNA and reject your access to INVITROGEN and health services.
Me: LOL
Install Shield: So consider the death of your parents on you
Me: You're mental, I love it.
Me: Both my parents?
Me: Because in a month, my father will have been dead for 4 years, so will you guys bring him back to life, then kill him again?
Me: Oh man, Brazzers will love this info.
Install Shield: cool, so your mama is still alive?ha She like cum forced down her throat?
Me: I wouldn't doubt it.
Me: Oh man, you don't mind if I email this convo to JuggCash do you?
Me: I'm pretty sure they will enjoy the LOL also.
Install Shield: Sure, just make sure all your software is legit, dead man.
Me: What software? My PC software? or website software?
Install Shield: No problem, CNN will keep you updated tonight.
Me: Oh snap, I'm gonna be on CNN?
Me: I should call my mom and make sure she tunes in so I can give her shoutouts!
Me: "LOOK MOM, I'M ON CNN!!"
Me: Can I be on ONN too?
Install Shield: Why dont you stop emailing me, this is a different agent.
Me: The Onion rocks.
Me: Should I take the blue pill or red pill?
Me: Can I call up Neo and ask him and Morpheus what I should do?
Me: Agent Smith, are you there?
Me: Don't send those twins after me, they will fuck a nigga UP!
Me: Hello? Agent Smith?
Me: Did you multiply yourself and are out side my front door?
Me: I took the blue pill, please don't kill me.

His ICQ info:

UIN: 383583215
Nick: Install Shield
First Name: Lamport
Last Name: Wendy
Gender: Male
Birthday: 2/14/1974
Age: 35
Status: Occupied

02-22-2009, 04:16 PM

I think my only fail is I for some reason thought Brazzers is a Canadian company, am I wrong?

02-22-2009, 04:23 PM

Quote:

383583215: I am fortunate to have served in the US Intelligence Community for more than 37 years, under seven Presidents and 13 Agency Directors. Had the opportunity come at an earlier time, I would have been most eager and proud to continue my work as IG during the Administration of President Obama, under the leadership of our new Director. However, after a full career, including seven years in my current position, it is time for a change.
CIA and its Office of Inspector General deal with a number of challenging and unique issues. I believe the country’s interests will be well served if a new Inspector General begins his or her term at the same time other key officials are beginning their service in the Agency and Administration.
Me: I voted for Obama
Me: Plus, your profile says you're 35, so it's now possible to work somewhere 2 years before you're born?
383583215: did you send the email to your affiliate providers yet?
Me: Nope, but I did make a thread on GFY mocking you with the whole conversation posted.
Me: I figured more people in the industry need to LOL at your failure, not just JuggCash.
Me: Oh shit, you just had a birthday, on Valentine's day, congratulations, did you have balloons, clowns and play pin the tail on the donkey?

I think I found my new friend.

marketsmart · 02-22-2009, 04:32 PM

i would report the death threats to ICQ. they will ban his account...

and then you win...

02-22-2009, 04:34 PM

Nah, I'm not offended, I was amused for a while. It's a shame Agent Smith stopped replying to me

DarkJedi · 02-22-2009, 04:35 PM

you have wasted 20 mins of your life talking to some idiot.

queue the FAIL pics now..

02-22-2009, 04:38 PM

Gotta have some fun every once and a while, and LOLing with someone who's seriously mentally challenged, is way better then arguing on GFY.

Machete_ · 02-22-2009, 04:42 PM

almost a spacedog

02-22-2009, 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ebus_dk

almost a spacedog

No bots were harmed in the creation of this conversation. But I'm sure I hurt Agent Smiths feelings.

CaptainHowdy · 02-22-2009, 06:06 PM

Nooooooooo!

pimplink · 02-22-2009, 10:33 PM

i agree with davey jones

MetaMan · 02-22-2009, 10:49 PM

that guy fucking made you look like an idiot LOL.

02-23-2009, 08:20 AM

Lol, ok MetaMan, I guess someone else saying I'm gonna get killed or fucked in the ass because he thought I was JuggCash, made me look like an idiot.

02-22-2009, 06:06 PM	#10
CaptainHowdy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Happy in the dark. Posts: 93,234	Nooooooooo! __________________ FLASH SALE INSANITY! deal with a 100% Trusted Seller Buy Traffic Spots on a High-Quality Network 1 Year or Lifetime — That’s Right, Until the Internet Explodes!

02-22-2009, 10:33 PM	#11
pimplink Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Closer than you think Posts: 9,535	i agree with davey jones __________________ Need Mainstream Content and SEO? SEO * Website Copy * Blogs Blogging - PR Work - Forum Marketing - Social Marketing - Link building - Articles 100% Guaranteed Content!

02-22-2009, 04:16 PM	#2
Killswitch - BANNED FOR LIFE Guest Posts: n/a	I think my only fail is I for some reason thought Brazzers is a Canadian company, am I wrong?

02-22-2009, 04:32 PM	#4
marketsmart HOMICIDAL TROLL KILLER Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Sunnybrook Institution for the Criminally Insane Posts: 20,419	i would report the death threats to ICQ. they will ban his account... and then you win...

02-22-2009, 04:34 PM	#5
Killswitch - BANNED FOR LIFE Guest Posts: n/a	Nah, I'm not offended, I was amused for a while. It's a shame Agent Smith stopped replying to me

02-22-2009, 04:35 PM	#6
DarkJedi No Refunds Issued. Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: GFY Posts: 28,300	you have wasted 20 mins of your life talking to some idiot. queue the FAIL pics now..

02-22-2009, 04:38 PM	#7
Killswitch - BANNED FOR LIFE Guest Posts: n/a	Gotta have some fun every once and a while, and LOLing with someone who's seriously mentally challenged, is way better then arguing on GFY.

02-22-2009, 04:42 PM	#8
Machete_ WINNING! Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 14,579	almost a spacedog

02-22-2009, 10:49 PM	#12
MetaMan I AM WEB 2.0 Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 28,682	that guy fucking made you look like an idiot LOL.

02-23-2009, 08:20 AM	#13
Killswitch - BANNED FOR LIFE Guest Posts: n/a	Lol, ok MetaMan, I guess someone else saying I'm gonna get killed or fucked in the ass because he thought I was JuggCash, made me look like an idiot.