I found a PERFECT CRUISE along Africa's east coast! - GoFuckYourself.com

Porn Producer · 04-30-2009, 05:35 AM

Now this is my idea of a cruise ship!

I was checking cruise lines because I heard the rates are very cheap right now.

I found a Somali cruise package that departs from Sawakin (in the Sudan ) and docks at Bagamoya (in Tanzania).

The cost is a bit high @ 800 per person double occupancy but I didn't find that offensive. What I found encouraging and enlightened is that the cruise is encouraging people to bring their 'High powered weapons' along on the cruise. If you don't have weapons you can rent them right there on the boat.

They claim to have a master blacksmith on board and will have reloading parties every afternoon. The cruise lasts from 4-8 days and nights and costs a maximum of $3200 per person double occupancy (4 days). All the boat does is sail up and down the coast of Somalia waiting to get hijacked by pirates. Here are some of the costs and claims associated with the package.

$800.00 US/per day double occupancy (4 day max billing)

M-16 full auto rental $ 25.00/day ammo at 100 rounds of 5.56 armor piercing ammo at $15.95

Ak-47 riffle @ No charge. ammo at 100 rounds of 7.62 com block ball ammo at $14.95

Barrett M-107 .50 cal sniper riffle rental 55.00/day ammo at 25 rounds 50 cal armor piercing at $9.95

Crew members can double as spotters for $30.00 per hour ( spotting scope included).

Jesus Christ---- they even offer RPG's at 75 bucks and 200 dollars for 3 standard loads

"Everyone gets use of free complimentary night vision equipment and coffee and snacks on the top deck from 7pm-6am."

Meals are not included but seem reasonable.

Most cruises offer a mini-bar... these gung ho entrepreneurs offer.........get this.....

"MOUNTED MINIGUN AVAILABLE @ 450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire"

Sign my ass up!

They advertise group rates and corporate discounts...... and even claim "FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY" They even offer a partial money back if not satisfied....here's some text from the ad.

"We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or we will refund half your money back including gun rental charges and any unused ammo ( mini gun charges not included).. How can we guarantee you will experience a hijacking? We operate at 5 kno ts within 12 miles of the coast of Somalia . If an attempted Hijacking does not occur we will turn the boat around and cruise by at 4 knots. We will repeat this for up to 8 days making three passes a day along the entire length of Somalia . At night the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot off at intervals and loud disco music beamed shore side to attract attention. Cabin space is limited so respond quickly. Reserve your package before Feb 29 and get 100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the caliber of your choice."

As if all that isn't enough to whet your appetite, there were a few testimonials

"I got three confirmed kills on my last trip. I'LL never hunt big game in Africa again. I felt like the Komandant in Schindlers list!"---- Lars , Hamburg Germany

"Six attacks in 4 days was more than I expected. I bagged three pirates and my 12yr old son sank two rowboats with the minigun. PIRATES 0 -PASSENGERS-32! Well worth the trip. Just make sure your spotter speaks English" Ned, Salt Lake city , Utah USA

"I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in NAM . Don't worry about getting shot by pirates as they never even got close to the ship with those weapons they use and their shitty aim--reminds me of a drunken'juicer' door gunner we picked up from the motor pool back in Nam" --"chopper' Dan ----Toledo USA.

"Like ducks in a barrel. They turned the ship around=2 0and we saw them bleed and cry in the water like little girls. Saw one wounded pirate eaten by sharks--what a laugh riot!! This is a must do.--- Zeke-Minnahaw Springs Kentucky USA

Finally, someone had the common sense to cash in AND solve a major problem. These folks deserve a medal!

Davy · 04-30-2009, 05:42 AM

Dude, high powered weapons?

1) Better not get into a fight with other people!

2) You will not be able to get one night of sleep on that boat.

polish_aristocrat · 04-30-2009, 06:08 AM

sounds like fun

tranza · 04-30-2009, 06:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by polish_aristocrat

sounds like fun

For sure!

brassmonkey · 04-30-2009, 06:39 AM

yeah right

majortom · 04-30-2009, 06:47 AM

Fucking great idea..been kidnaped myself and my sailing boat crew about 15 years ago...escaped under fire after 17 days in chains ...aaahh the good old times...

EvilFubAr · 04-30-2009, 07:43 AM

got a link?

marketsmart · 04-30-2009, 07:48 AM

i would go on that cruise if it really existed, although i wouldnt feel comfortable flying into the sudan..

scuba steve · 04-30-2009, 08:43 AM

you obviously didn't see last week's southpark

DWB · 04-30-2009, 09:24 AM

Have you guys ever been to Somali? It is a shit hole unlike anything you can imagine.

04-30-2009, 05:35 AM	#1
Porn Producer So Fucking Banned Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 478	I found a PERFECT CRUISE along Africa's east coast! Now this is my idea of a cruise ship! I was checking cruise lines because I heard the rates are very cheap right now. I found a Somali cruise package that departs from Sawakin (in the Sudan ) and docks at Bagamoya (in Tanzania). The cost is a bit high @ 800 per person double occupancy but I didn't find that offensive. What I found encouraging and enlightened is that the cruise is encouraging people to bring their 'High powered weapons' along on the cruise. If you don't have weapons you can rent them right there on the boat. They claim to have a master blacksmith on board and will have reloading parties every afternoon. The cruise lasts from 4-8 days and nights and costs a maximum of $3200 per person double occupancy (4 days). All the boat does is sail up and down the coast of Somalia waiting to get hijacked by pirates. Here are some of the costs and claims associated with the package. $800.00 US/per day double occupancy (4 day max billing) M-16 full auto rental $ 25.00/day ammo at 100 rounds of 5.56 armor piercing ammo at $15.95 Ak-47 riffle @ No charge. ammo at 100 rounds of 7.62 com block ball ammo at $14.95 Barrett M-107 .50 cal sniper riffle rental 55.00/day ammo at 25 rounds 50 cal armor piercing at $9.95 Crew members can double as spotters for $30.00 per hour ( spotting scope included). Jesus Christ---- they even offer RPG's at 75 bucks and 200 dollars for 3 standard loads "Everyone gets use of free complimentary night vision equipment and coffee and snacks on the top deck from 7pm-6am." Meals are not included but seem reasonable. Most cruises offer a mini-bar... these gung ho entrepreneurs offer.........get this..... "MOUNTED MINIGUN AVAILABLE @ 450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire" Sign my ass up! They advertise group rates and corporate discounts...... and even claim "FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY" They even offer a partial money back if not satisfied....here's some text from the ad. "We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or we will refund half your money back including gun rental charges and any unused ammo ( mini gun charges not included).. How can we guarantee you will experience a hijacking? We operate at 5 kno ts within 12 miles of the coast of Somalia . If an attempted Hijacking does not occur we will turn the boat around and cruise by at 4 knots. We will repeat this for up to 8 days making three passes a day along the entire length of Somalia . At night the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot off at intervals and loud disco music beamed shore side to attract attention. Cabin space is limited so respond quickly. Reserve your package before Feb 29 and get 100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the caliber of your choice." As if all that isn't enough to whet your appetite, there were a few testimonials "I got three confirmed kills on my last trip. I'LL never hunt big game in Africa again. I felt like the Komandant in Schindlers list!"---- Lars , Hamburg Germany "Six attacks in 4 days was more than I expected. I bagged three pirates and my 12yr old son sank two rowboats with the minigun. PIRATES 0 -PASSENGERS-32! Well worth the trip. Just make sure your spotter speaks English" Ned, Salt Lake city , Utah USA "I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in NAM . Don't worry about getting shot by pirates as they never even got close to the ship with those weapons they use and their shitty aim--reminds me of a drunken'juicer' door gunner we picked up from the motor pool back in Nam" --"chopper' Dan ----Toledo USA. "Like ducks in a barrel. They turned the ship around=2 0and we saw them bleed and cry in the water like little girls. Saw one wounded pirate eaten by sharks--what a laugh riot!! This is a must do.--- Zeke-Minnahaw Springs Kentucky USA Finally, someone had the common sense to cash in AND solve a major problem. These folks deserve a medal!

04-30-2009, 05:42 AM	#2
Davy Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Germany Posts: 4,323	Dude, high powered weapons? 1) Better not get into a fight with other people! 2) You will not be able to get one night of sleep on that boat. __________________ --- ICQ 14-76-98 <-- I don't use this at all

04-30-2009, 06:08 AM	#3
polish_aristocrat Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 40,377	sounds like fun __________________ I don't use ICQ anymore.

04-30-2009, 06:39 AM	#5
brassmonkey Pay It Forward Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Yo Mama House Posts: 77,061	yeah right __________________ TRUMP 2025 KEKAW!!! - The Laken Riley Act Is Law! DACA ENDED - SUPPORT AZ HCR 2060 52R - email: brassballz-at-techie.com

04-30-2009, 06:47 AM	#6
majortom Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: SEA Posts: 445	Fucking great idea..been kidnaped myself and my sailing boat crew about 15 years ago...escaped under fire after 17 days in chains ...aaahh the good old times... __________________ Divers Do It Deeper !!!

04-30-2009, 07:43 AM	#7
EvilFubAr Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Location: Earth Posts: 1,141	got a link?

04-30-2009, 07:48 AM	#8
marketsmart HOMICIDAL TROLL KILLER Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Sunnybrook Institution for the Criminally Insane Posts: 20,419	i would go on that cruise if it really existed, although i wouldnt feel comfortable flying into the sudan..

04-30-2009, 08:43 AM	#9
scuba steve Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: i'm in miami bitch Posts: 1,888	you obviously didn't see last week's southpark __________________

04-30-2009, 09:24 AM	#10
DWB Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Encrypted. Access denied. Posts: 31,779	Have you guys ever been to Somali? It is a shit hole unlike anything you can imagine.