I get 3 e-mails A week from guys that want to be male performers... FUNNY SHIT!!!!

[JustDaveXxx]

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: *Dre_Day* 4th ave
To: Just Dave
Date: May 9, 2009 12:07 PM
Subject:


Hey man u dont know me but can iask u a serious question!?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Just Dave
To: *Dre_Day* 4th ave
Date: May 10, 2009 5:15 AM
Subject: RE:



Shoot, lets here it?



---------------- Original Message -----------------
From: *Dre_Day* 4th ave
To: Just Dave
Date: May 12, 2009 8:23 PM
Subject: RE:



*We'll kno disrespect,Sir' r u aporn star..if so..Can u tell me how did you first start off..and what were some of the things u had 2 due 2 be aporstar..The reson y i ask is because all jokes aside..iwanna b aporn star..ialways wanna b..ihave da talent..but jus dont know were 2begin..can u help me..due you have sum advice 4 me..but im so serious sir..i try 2 im some of the other stars..but iguess mayb they dont take me serious wen iam...txt me bak and let me know sumthingz..thankz..dre



----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Just Dave
To: *Dre_Day* 4th ave
Date: May 13, 2009 5:49 PM
Subject: RE:



Its way tougher than you think. Do this:

Get 10 of your boys in a well lit up room. Give the 11th a camera. Get but naked and start jerking off. Stay hard for 15 minute strait, then on the 16th minute bust your nut onto a CD case on a coffee table.


If you can really do that, you might be able to do this business. Sound strange, but the set is loaded with crew and they are all watching. its not the girls job to get you hard, its your job.

All the viagra and lavitra wont help you. Its all in your head. Get a whacking dude!!


Dave





---------------- Original Message -----------------
From: *Dre_Day* 4th ave
To: Just Dave
Date: May 17, 2009 4:56 PM
Subject: RE:




wow r u serious..and if idue that...who due ihave to send it 2!




----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Just Dave
To: *Dre_Day* 4th ave

Lets See if you can really do that before you talk about sending me anything.

Keep in mind, everything you see in porn is there because the director wants it there. How many positions? how much time in each position? What position? when to go into that position? where the sex happens? couch? bed? floor? etc. Where do you think it comes from? the guy??

The guy fucking has zero say!!!!! Males do what i say when and how i say it is going to be done!! You are staring at me while your fucking her to take your direction!!! And if that bothers you or makes you nervous then you wont be able to stay hard. And if you cant stay hard, you just costed me $600 in crew fees and kill fees and that is $1000 i dont make that day.


Now that you have an idea on what is at stake would you risk loosing a $1000 pay day and the serious risk paying out $600 because you think you can do it??????


What would you do??? really??? if your not packing a solid 10 or 11, nobody will give you a shot. At least i took the time to give you a heads up on what is what.



Shoot the video, i tell you to shoot, then lets go from there. Im not gay and really dont care, but by shooting that video, you will know if you got what it takes to do this.

And if you fail, then you saved me from paying out $600


Hope all is well.

Dave

-





I get these 3 times a week. I should start collecting these videos and send them to gay sites.lol I got 6 sent to me already. Its funny shit!!!

[mikeyddddd]

[JamesK]

haha great replies

[CaptainWolfy]

funny shit

[JustDaveXxx]

Everybody thinks that they can be male porn star because they can fuck their girl in the dark for a whole 10 min. without busting.

And everybody says that they got an 8 inch dick. I shot 70 1st timers and only 3 were able to do it. It is a very hard job to do right.

[lazycash]

Sounds like LC back in 2004.

[DWB]

Originally Posted by JustDaveXxx

Get 10 of your boys in a well lit up room. Give the 11th a camera. Get but naked and start jerking off. Stay hard for 15 minute strait, then on the 16th minute bust your nut onto a CD case on a coffee table.


If you can really do that, you might be able to do this business. Sound strange, but the set is loaded with crew and they are all watching. its not the girls job to get you hard, its your job.

All the viagra and lavitra wont help you. Its all in your head.

Right on.

[voa]

Looks like he want to be a pornstar :D

[XX_RydeR]

lmao funny shit.

[Iron Fist]

I has a penis! I can be a pornstar!

[Marquis85]

lol wtf... his spelling makes it hard to get through his emails.

[Oracle Porn]

thread is worthless without embed youtube videos of guys jerking off on cd cases

[georgeyw]

here
due
2
u

Does anyone else find themselves reading one word at a time when people write emails like that?

[georgeyw]

Originally Posted by Marquis85

lol wtf... his spelling makes it hard to get through his emails.

Wish i'd read the entire thread before replying - agree 100000000000000000000000%!

[Scott McD]

aporn star

Why does he insist in writing it like that ??

[ZeroHero]

[Vicious_B]

Why a CD case?

[MaDalton]

Originally Posted by 12clicksMichele

Why a CD case?

yeah, isn't it supposed to be a cookie and the last one to finish has to eat it?

[pornguy]

Originally Posted by MaDalton

yeah, isn't it supposed to be a cookie and the last one to finish has to eat it?

NO the guy that loses his erection has to eat it.

[Manowar]

lmao, cant believe they actually send them

[frank7799]

Originally Posted by MaDalton

yeah, isn't it supposed to be a cookie and the last one to finish has to eat it?

Bon Appétit!

[DaddyHalbucks]

Good stuff Dave.

[CarlosTheGaucho]

Yeah do a site like "male porn auditions" with it, put it up somewhere!

[ExLust]

[Sands]

Damn man, jerk off on a CD case in front of six dudes? Piece of cake. I did that last Tuesday at a Best Buy, and the staff stood there dumbfounded and watching.

And if you really must know, the CD was Garth Brook's The Magic of Christmas.

[Vicious_B]

Originally Posted by Sands

Damn man, jerk off on a CD case in front of six dudes? Piece of cake. I did that last Tuesday at a Best Buy, and the staff stood there dumbfounded and watching.

And if you really must know, the CD was Garth Brook's The Magic of Christmas.

Well thats totally understandable!

[MaDalton]

Originally Posted by pornguy

NO the guy that loses his erection has to eat it.

well, i just heard about it but we seem to have an expert here










j/k

[alexchechs]

Its alot better then having a 60 year old male come to your office building asking if he can be male talent... yes that has happened to us...

[_Richard_]

you convinced 6 people to do that? priceless.

[JamesK]

Originally Posted by alexchechs

Its alot better then having a 60 year old male come to your office building asking if he can be male talent... yes that has happened to us...

did dave cummings come by?

[JP-pornshooter]

bahahah.. good shit.

one of my clients actually told me why pay $500 for a guy to fuck a porn star, any guy would do that for a lot less, possible even for free.. i had to agree with him but also remind him that if i send him a bad scene where the guy is not performing well, he returns the content and no payment for me...
i have no problem giving a new guy a chance, if he is willing to finance the shoot that is..
havent had any takers yet.

[Octopus]

Good replies !!

[Hawkeye]

Originally Posted by JP-pornshooter

bahahah.. good shit.

one of my clients actually told me why pay $500 for a guy to fuck a porn star, any guy would do that for a lot less, possible even for free.. i had to agree with him but also remind him that if i send him a bad scene where the guy is not performing well, he returns the content and no payment for me...
i have no problem giving a new guy a chance, if he is willing to finance the shoot that is..
havent had any takers yet.

That's the secret. Anybody can become a porn "star" if he's willing to finance it himself.

These days, that's how most of us do it.

But I doubt the illiterate halfwit who wrote that email has the ability to finance anything more than his next lunch at McDonalds.

[CIVMatt]

Can I have your email?

[DWB]

Originally Posted by Sands

Damn man, jerk off on a CD case in front of six dudes? Piece of cake. I did that last Tuesday at a Best Buy, and the staff stood there dumbfounded and watching.

And if you really must know, the CD was Garth Brook's The Magic of Christmas.

OMFG, that was you?

[DrChango]

Originally Posted by Marquis85

lol wtf... his spelling makes it hard to get through his emails.

public school systems at work=)

[absolutfl]

Originally Posted by Sands

Damn man, jerk off on a CD case in front of six dudes? Piece of cake. I did that last Tuesday at a Best Buy, and the staff stood there dumbfounded and watching.

And if you really must know, the CD was Garth Brook's The Magic of Christmas.

That was you? High five, man!

[JustDaveXxx]

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! all you guys are too funny!! If you are a director or producer you get E-mails like this weekly. I will keep everybody informed with what he chooses to do.

[MaDalton]

i once got this:

[BVF]

Put a phone number on your site....Things will really get interesting then.

Since the demand is so high, I'm thinking of offering a contest where the winner would get to fly out to my location and ride in my van with me to hunt for a girl on the streets....I get ENDLESS calls from men who want to get with the girls in one way or the other and it's a lot more than three a week.

[AsianDivaGirlsWebDude]

I tell them wanna be porn studs that to be taken seriously, they have to come up with a clever porn name first.

That gets rid of most of them, and keeps the rest occupied for days.

I've actually named several porn actors/actresses over the years, among them Annie Cruz (the most famous so far), Ariel Song, Blossom Moon, Jenna Joy, Juliet Jong, Loni Punani (Loni was already well known by her first name, I added the Punani part), Ura Doll. and my most recent girl, Holly Woo, who already has done a handful of videos for various companies.

The most recent male name I came up with was Skip Foreplay.



The best one that a new guy ever came up with on his own was Kris B. Cream.

Great thread...

ADG

[SBJ]

Originally Posted by CarlosTheGaucho

Yeah do a site like "male porn auditions" with it, put it up somewhere!

they have a site like this Stunt Cock Tryout

Eddy has serious problems getting hard for Mandy

Eddy is your typical married man & has admittedly become bored with his current living situation. Eddy made a decision to come in and tryout for a job as a porn star. The rules of the gig were laid out right away for Eddy. Mandy begins the audition with a sexy lapdance & Eddy was quickly aroused. When Mandy took off her clothes, lil Eddy retreated like a turtle in his shell. Mandy even masturbates in front of Eddy in hopes that that will help his soldier raise up, but nothing worked. Eddy is another good example of a guy who couldn't get out of his head and focus on what is right in front of him. It appears that the pornstar life is not for everyone & Eddy is another good example of why.

[AaliyahLove]

ugh I get 3 of these A DAY, usually I dont even respond but ur responses r funny hehe..
They usually include a pic and something like "so do you think my dick is big enough for me to be a pornstar?" or "my dick is def big enough, so I can DEF be a great pornstar! see?!" LOL!

I usually tell them about the same thing you said or tell them"I'm a fn webcam model not an agent why are you asking me?"

[Easton]

you have way more patience than i do bro!

[SBJ]

Originally Posted by Easton

you have way more patience than i do bro!

I love your avatar!

and yeah I doubt I would've replied more than once to him

[Ravage]

I get about an email a week from guys like this asking to get a start in the business.

I just give them JustDaveXxx's email address and tell them Dave likes it when they do not use punctuation or have a grasp of the English language.

Ok, I'm joking about the 2nd part

[JustDaveXxx]

Originally Posted by Adult Rental Chris

I get about an email a week from guys like this asking to get a start in the business.

I just give them JustDaveXxx's email address and tell them Dave likes it when they do not use punctuation or have a grasp of the English language.

Ok, I'm joking about the 2nd part

HAHAHAHA!! I know everybody gets these type of emails. Everybody needs to post their funniest emails from people that want to get into the business.



And Easton wins best GFY Avatar!!!!

[papagmp]

It's not the emails that kill me - it's the guys that stop me on the street, in the club or even the super market. I live in a small(er) city and we sell a LOT of memberships locally. Most of the guys that stop me are members or knows one of the girls that has worked for me.

Last Friday, Violet (the hottie in my avatar) and I were at the club having a few drinks with our crew and talking about ideas for our new "sextard" site when this kid came up and kept pushing the issue. His timing couldn't have been better. He made all the claims that we hear all the time; "I can fuck for hours" and "All the girls cum when I fuck them", etc... After about ten minutes of this, Violet finally turned to him and said rather loudly "whip it out and get it hard". At first he asked her to help but when it became clear that he had to do it on his own, he said "that's impossible with all these people around" - so I whipped mine out, winked at Violet and started working it to a full erection - aiming it at him the whole time. The poor fucker about pissed himself. After a long pause, he finally excused himself and left. My lead camera girl/video editor was laughing so hard she couldn't catch her breath. The manager of the club, a good buddy of mine, was pretty pissed but he'll get over it

And yes - most of the guys that ask, can't spell their own fucking names.

PS - I'd like to collect these stories for the new site I'm working on. If you have pics or clips with releases and 2257 even better. PM me or hit me up on icq.

[papagmp]

Originally Posted by JustDaveXxx

HAHAHAHA!! I know everybody gets these type of emails. Everybody needs to post their funniest emails from people that want to get into the business.



And Easton wins best GFY Avatar!!!!

Sadly - I've deleted most. But I have a new project that I can use them on so I'll be saving them in the future.

[papagmp]

Just came in this morning:

Hello,

I look @ the Porno 101
I was thinking maybe I can do whatever it is to become a model.
Please reply and fill me in on the things I have to do to get into the business with your company??


I think I'll send him the advise JustDaveXxx gave his applicant