Obama Joke - GoFuckYourself.com

czarina · 09-16-2009, 11:13 AM

Please note that I am an Obama supporter... but this is too funny and couldn't let it pass. Read on:

Dear Citizens,

Due to the current financial situation caused by the
slowdown in the economy, I have decided to implement
a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above
on early retirement.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People
Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be
considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After
Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed
under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired-Early
Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as
many times as I, President Obama deem appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional
Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half
Earnings for Retired Personnel
Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be
SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by me.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will
receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training)
as possible. I have always prided myself on
the amount of SHIT I give our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT,
please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who
has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can
handle.

Sincerely,

President Obama

PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost
of electricity, gas and oil, the Light at the End of
the Tunnel has been turned off.

mikesinner · 09-16-2009, 11:37 AM

Didn't sound funny at all.

Va2k · 09-16-2009, 11:42 AM

Damn that was funny??? I missed the haha part!

czarina · 09-16-2009, 11:48 AM

oh come one, it's pretty good if you leave all political beliefs aside.

brassmonkey · 09-16-2009, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by czarina

Please note that I am an Obama supporter... but this is too funny and couldn't let it pass. Read on:

Dear Citizens,

Due to the current financial situation caused by the
slowdown in the economy, I have decided to implement
a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above
on early retirement.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People
Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be
considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After
Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed
under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired-Early
Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as
many times as I, President Obama deem appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional
Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half
Earnings for Retired Personnel
Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be
SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by me.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will
receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training)
as possible. I have always prided myself on
the amount of SHIT I give our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT,
please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who
has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can
handle.

Sincerely,

President Obama

PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost
of electricity, gas and oil, the Light at the End of
the Tunnel has been turned off.

PurrrsianPussyKat · 09-16-2009, 11:49 AM

Not laughing over here. *shrug*

ToplistBlog_Com · 09-16-2009, 07:21 PM

Um.... okay.

L-Pink · 09-16-2009, 07:24 PM

My ass hurts ..........

.

woj · 09-16-2009, 07:27 PM

heh.....

gornyhuy · 09-16-2009, 07:33 PM

Tldnr...

John-ACWM · 09-17-2009, 06:55 AM

It was a joke for sure.

Nicky · 09-17-2009, 06:58 AM

Can't say I laughed my ass off, pretty lame, but to each his own

09-16-2009, 11:13 AM	#1
czarina Webmaster Extraordinaire Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: A beautiful beach... Posts: 10,734	Obama Joke Please note that I am an Obama supporter... but this is too funny and couldn't let it pass. Read on: Dear Citizens, Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, I have decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired-Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as I, President Obama deem appropriate. Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by me. Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. I have always prided myself on the amount of SHIT I give our citizens. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle. Sincerely, President Obama PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.

09-16-2009, 11:37 AM	#2
mikesinner Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 5,646	Didn't sound funny at all. __________________ My Best Sponsors MPl l Camsl CUMSHOTSl LESBIANSl FETISHl BJ RACESl TEEN BJl BSDMl VODl USE YOUR PC TO CURE CANCER

09-16-2009, 11:42 AM	#3
Va2k I’m still alive barley. Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Va Posts: 10,060	Damn that was funny??? I missed the haha part! __________________

09-16-2009, 11:49 AM	#6
PurrrsianPussyKat Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Lost in the mountains Posts: 2,088	Not laughing over here. shrug __________________ Need a reliable, reasonably priced php programmer? Hit me up! 2934409

09-16-2009, 07:27 PM	#9
woj <&(©¿©)&> Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 47,883	heh..... __________________ Custom Software Development, email: woj#at#wojfun#.#com to discuss details or skype: wojl2000 or gchat: wojfun or telegram: wojl2000 Affiliate program tools: Hosted Galleries Manager Banner Manager Video Manager Wordpress Affiliate Plugin Pic/Movie of the Day Fansign Generator Zip Manager

09-16-2009, 11:48 AM	#4
czarina Webmaster Extraordinaire Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: A beautiful beach... Posts: 10,734	oh come one, it's pretty good if you leave all political beliefs aside.

09-16-2009, 07:21 PM	#7
ToplistBlog_Com So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Queens NY Posts: 2,065	Um.... okay.

09-16-2009, 07:24 PM	#8
L-Pink working on my tan Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Florida/Kentucky Posts: 39,152	My ass hurts .......... .

09-16-2009, 07:33 PM	#10
gornyhuy Chafed. Join Date: May 2002 Location: Face Down in Pussy Posts: 18,041	Tldnr... __________________ icq:159548293

09-17-2009, 06:55 AM	#11
John-ACWM Work Work Work Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: EU Posts: 20,060	It was a joke for sure. __________________ Video Chat Forum

09-17-2009, 06:58 AM	#12
Nicky Judge Jury and Executioner Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Sweden Posts: 30,052	Can't say I laughed my ass off, pretty lame, but to each his own __________________ Hardlinks and blog posts available on a popular blog with DR 43 and over 3000 referring domains. gfynicky @ gmail.com