Coping with death
 

As a Christmas gift to my dad and some of my siblings I am giving them pics and vids from my mother's funeral. As I looked through the photos it reminded me of a comment a friend made to me at my mother's wake. She had only been to a couple funerals in her life and was surprised to see so many smiles and to hear the laughter. She was not sure how to take it.

A week or so after my mom died, my daughter's father-in-law died. I took photos of his funeral as well and since I am giving that family copies of the pics as well, I scanned through them a bit. Sure enough, not nearly as many smiles.

It made me stop and wonder, how do you handle death? Does the idea scare you? Do you look forward to seeing what, if anything, happens on the other side?

Personally, I hope I am able to come back and "haunt" people I knew.

It only worries me about my loved ones... nothing else...

I dont like funerals... and coming back to haunt... just might be fun ;)

I watermark photos of the person and post them on forums.

My opa's funeral was somber... his passing was sudden and unexpected, and left our family with thoughts of how our oma would cope with it, as well as her existing medical conditions.

My oma's funeral a year later was much lighter, with most of the family having a sense of relief that both grandparents we're finally enjoying a much deserved rest after long productive lives.

I believe in death you go back into light. you are re born as one with everything. where personality, hopes, dream, negativity, ego, no longer exist.

you exist as an infinite being imagining in on itself. when you "wakeup" from the "dream" there is nothing but light and "happiness". which is actually pureness and no emotion.

There is nothing to be scared of because you exist as a "thought" in on yourself. infinity only exists. space and time are a human made thought.

you are not "re born" because you have always existed.

hahah kitty rules! :)

that is actually what i believe. not saying i invented the belief, but from what i have read of all religions, physics etc. that is my conclusion.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

every funeral i've been to has been a bit of a downer. as far dying, i hope that's it. curtains. the idea of eternal life sounds unbelievably boring to me, basically hell.

very cool, but what is the infinite source of [light] energy ? ;)

even physics believe light came from "dark matter" which is not matter at all? correct me if i am wrong.

"Consciousness" always has existed the world of "matter" which comes from no matter at all i believe comes from 1 infinite consciousness.

your consciousness is viewing in on itself.

You dont need a source for the light when the light is merely part of an infinite consciousness.

in your dream your eyes are closed but you can vividly see "light" and "colors". where does this "light" source come from? it comes from your own consciousness projecting in on itself.

i believe "life" is merely infinity projecting itself onto itself. like an infinite hologram.

My Mom told me she would come back as a ghost and visit. :1orglaugh

almost 20 years and nada, but it was a nice thought. :upsidedow

oh "really"?:smokin

As I'm getting older it's easier to accept a death in the family.

In my late teens and early 20's. Family deaths tore me up. Especially my Grandma

i believe we turn into worm food... find enlightenment and happiness now instead...

Meta, i understand what you are saying as i'm also familiar with these concepts
while enjoying your first post in this thread i got into thinking from physics perspective and came to dilemma - i can understand anything "infinite" in theory, but so far in real, practical world we haven't seen or experience anything infinite except maybe possibilities. the "universal consciousness" if such thing exists from physics perspective must be based on "something" - anything that it may be, i cannot see as infinite, any source of energy as we know so far is finite. any consciousness/light/energy cannot exist in nothingness. in my view, concept of universal global consciousness is more appealing than any concept of god/s, but there's definitely more to think about, in the end we always face and will face the great unknown.

dark matter, anti matter - so far are blurry things, i tend to think of it same as matter with a 'negative' charge to balance things out.

cool i like these convos. :)

i believe the "practical world" does not "exist". does a dream "exist" and would the people in your dream know "they" exist? and how do you know "they" do not "exist"?

"nothingness" is apart of that same infinity. "nothingness" is that infinity. you can either view it as nothing or everything.

the thoughts in your head, the things you see. do you see them and perceive them for what they "are"? or do you perceive them because you are told a certain "thought" that attaches to them makes you perceive them in a certain way?

what if from "birth" you were taught elephants were just a hologram inside your head. and no matter what factor with that elephant ie. it taking a shit, it running you over and injuring you, is all a hologram inside your head.

would you know any better? the thing is from birth we are taught to attach a certain thought to everything we perceive.

as a human we all have massive egos to think we "matter" or think we can be "enlightened" the mere fact of us trying to be enlightened and understand shows why we are not able to grasp the concept.

infinity exists as all "nothing" and all "something" it is infinity.

How far away from the cemetery (or any cemetery) do you live? I had a psychic tell me that your proximity to cemeteries is a determining factor.

I know my house had [or used to have] a regular visitor. He messed with my son and two girlfriends and none of them knew of the altercations with the other. I live like three blocks from a cemetery.

People in my family live long lives, so funerals aren't something that happens much.
That said when my step father died 6 years ago, A lot of people showed up, I saw people I hadn't seen in over 20 years, but recognized them the instant I saw them. People brought food and liquor and we had a little party afterwards where everyone drank Coors and Black Velvet which was my step dads favorite.

We never really got along, but he was always there when I needed him, I did the same for him and he left my mother very well off. He was a Marine and got full colors and 21 gun salute which was very impressive. I visit the grave from time to time, pour him some whiskey, tell him whats going on, let him know he's not forgotten. He was probably the most hardcore person I ever knew.

To me, death is part of life, the whole can't have dark without light and can't have good without evil thing I guess. I believe in God, just don't have much faith in religion. Death is the final question, what happens next?

I follow the path of Tao, imho we are given back to the universe in death, from the end of one journey to begin another. Sorry, still feeling spiritual with the eclipse AND solstice together.

@Meta,
this "non-existent practical world" is bound by laws and rules of physics, chemistry and ultimately math
our life's as you say 'dreams' have very similar properties and we are all grounded by gravity and magnetism otherwise all these 'dreams' would be complete chaos and unlikely we would come to life here on earth even if it was/is a dream state.
anyway, since this life (as you say dream state) is based on laws of science it can be easily assumed that anything beyond such dream state is also bound by laws and rules of science and its limitations even if it is in realm of meta-physics.

lets assume there is such a thing as infinite consciousness which once came to self realization and the universe was born by big bang (which can be looked at as of enlightening of such consciousness) and it began to realize all its possibilities of it's own energy in manifestation of matter - do you think it can continue indefinitely?

I would think if universal consciousness was infinite, our 'dream-state' life's could as well be infinite for that matter, but for some reason it is not.

This afterlife talk with metaman has a striking resemblance of having a conversation with fatfoo while on payote...

What, no 72 virgins?

Well I've never really lived too close to the cemetary. Rose Hills over there in Whittier I believe, and I lived in the San Gabriel Valley. Not far by LA standards but not three blocks.

I've lived in a couple different houses now where the previous inhabitants had just died. Nothing at all in terms of ghosts. I wish I had cool stories but not at all. I have heard stories like yours, but never first hand.

I would move into a haunted house in a heartbeat. In fact, might try to find one in New Orleans one day, a house with ghost stories. lol

Death is a part of life. I live in the Philippines and we have this elaborate belief system and ritual about death. You can see week long wakes where people play dice games, play cards, chill with friends, bring food and drinks, all around the coffin. Come the Day of the Dead (Nov 1), almost all of Manila empties out as they go to cemeteries to spend the WHOLE DAY AND NIGHT with their dead. Some people have a mini-fiesta, others get drunk, there's been some fights and shootings.

In this part of Asia, life and death blur into each other and there are complicated rituals and belief systems to deal with the VERY HUMAN REACTION TO DEATH--Fear.

Many people react to fear with denial or clinging to control (this is the reaction I noticed when I lived in America), others react to the fear differently.

I don't judge because everyone is different. One thing is for sure though--we are NOT in control. It's your choice to accept it and say IT'S OKAY or engage in all sorts of rituals, behaviors, belief systems to "deal" with it. Since I've been here, I've been to close to 10 funerals. All were pretty much the same--serene almost festive events where people greet friends, share happy stories of the deceased, and hang out for the free food and drinks.

I try not to think about it. "Dead" is a long fucking time. I try to be "alive" as possible each day because I am pretty sure when it's over it's over.

Coping with DEATH is hard for me. My grandma just died about 6 months ago. There is a piece of scratch paper on my work bench in the garage with :"Nana's cell phone" and her number on it.

I used to call her allot. It feels weird now that when I look at that paper. I know that if I call that number she will not answer any more. :-(

It should be easy there. I have to admit, the first time a chick told me the story about what happened, I just wrote it off as being Susan. When the second chick, who never heard of Susan said something, and my son had a story he had been holding in for years I made me realize that maybe the guy just liked the place. I think I know who it is, although we never met.

My home town of San Francisco lost a bit of its attraction when my grandmother died. But I knew she was ready because she told me she was not going to die until she finished something.

heavy shit man :1orglaugh

A family friend only has a month or so to live with cancer. He decided to throw a party to "celebrate his life" and get everyone high with medical marijuana lol. He didn't want the last time people had a get together for him to be a downer, so he said, "fuck the funeral...let's get high and have fun while I'm alive." So no sad faces when he passes.

With respect to my thoughts on death, frankly, I just hope I'm lucky enough where I don't suffer and the shit doesn't hurt. Just take me in my sleep please.

As for after death, I worry about the bad shit I've done in life. I've done a lot of good, but I worry that when I'm at the pearly gates they say, "denied...the bikes you stole as a teenager was the straw that broke the camel's back."

I pretty much think you are reborn as a new person when the brain activity stops. I just hope I'm reborn as some decent fella or chick that has a chance, and not the child of crack addicted parents in Siberia, Russia.

I don't think crack is a big problem in Siberia, so you are probably cool there.

Yes, you are wrong.

Dark matter is just a hypothesized amount of matter we cannot see or detect directly, but we think "should be there" because we observe its gravitational effects (=i.e., galaxies move as if more matter was around).

We don't know much about dark matter, we are not even sure it really exists, but there is no reason to believe is connected with light.

We know plenty about light. Light is electromagnetic radiation, in the specific wavelength range which is visible by human eyes.

And there's nothing mystical about either dark matter or light.

That's a scary thought.
But anyway, we are immortals. We die, we get buried, we transform into dirt from which flowers and trees will grow, other people will eat us and we'll transform into new flash and brain cells. We'll travel the world, oceans and space and we'll exist through eternity.

There is not the slightest bit of verifiable evidence that "life" contiues after "death". I think that whole notion is just oa way that people make themselves feel better about dying.

Dead is dead.

Dead is alike a rock: no life, the end, das Endung, finis; it's over..........................

You have only one life so you'd better stop worrying about an "afterlife" which most likely does not exist and get on living the one and only life that you have!

Preparation for the "afterlife" didn't work out so well for this guy:

http://i849.photobucket.com/albums/a...re/24ozseh.jpg

Nor for this one:

http://i717.photobucket.com/albums/w...u/IMG_2262.jpg

Makes for nice sci-fi and fantasy movies though:

http://i206.photobucket.com/albums/b...ters/mummy.gif


When you're dead, you are really fucking dead:

http://i846.photobucket.com/albums/a...ng/BurkesS.jpg

http://i782.photobucket.com/albums/y...s__003541_.jpg

I'd rather go with Pascal's wager :)

Over the past 5 years I have lost my daughter, my step dad, my mother, my father, my favorite aunt and 2 uncle's in that order. All were from natural causes except my daughter who was murdered.

I have learned to cope with the death of close loved ones. But I now Have a re-occurring feeling of being all alone even though I am surrounded by family and friends. Kinda hard for me to express this feeling in words.

I believe in death our souls leave our bodies and go somewhere. And at present I am of the belief we go to sleep in Jesus.

About the same to me.
My father died next day after my turning 40. He came to see me, his grandchildren and all relatives that were at my house that day. And next
day he died. Accidentally. On the street, he was taking a walk with my mom around the block.

When I saw him dead I knew there was no soul, was no 'him' in the body.

I want to think we all can rejoin up in heaven, but my fucking 2 diplomas tell i might be wrong and we just get dissolved as we die.

Well, if you "go to sleep IN Jesus", exactly in what part of the etherial corpse of that particular Jewish zombie is your so-called "soul" located? There is also not the slightest bit of verifiable evidence that there is anyting even remotely akin to waht we call a "soul".

You get one and only one run at life, so stop worrying about what makes The Baby Jesus cry and get out there and LIVE!

Christianity is the belief system which tells you that a cosmic Jewish zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...

What the REAL Jesus probably thinks about the fucked-up mess that Christianity has become:

http://i607.photobucket.com/albums/t...rthumbnail.jpg

Me worry, Oh no worries here. God asks us to simply without proof blindly believe that he has a life for us after we pass through this life.

Why give up an offer like that. For the belief that when this life is over you you are just done?

Sometimes you really do have to think outside the box!

Jesus probably does have those thoughts about this fucked up mess as you call it. The bigger the mess the sooner he may come back and fix it.

Don't hold your breath!

I said Christanity is a fucked up mess.

And how did "God" ask you anything?

Deliver the message to you via Celestial Conveyor?

Focus on life, weaklings...

even one-upping funerals ...

Pics and videos from a funeral as xmas gifts?
That's a nice way to ruin the good xmas spirit, go for it!

I'm actually really pissed I won't be conscious to see my own funeral; to see who shows up, what they say about me, how they react, etc...

Do like Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn.

did you become more religious after the passing of those people? seems to be what happens sometimes as a way to cope.

Death is just a part of life...

I lost my mom this year, I worry and cry for people when they're here - when they're gone, there's no point, you're only crying for yourself. both my parents deaths may have been preventable -that makes me sick. nobody gets out of here alive but you'd like to go when you feel it's time and not a minute sooner.

nobody knows what comes after death, nobody. i sure wouldn't count on anything but to say nothing exists beyond is as stupid as saying the opposite. i think even the atheists hope they are wrong when death is near.

How do you know? Have you died?

How do you know death even exists and that you haven't made it up in your own head?

you must remember eternity.. at least then you can doubt the end

MY MAN! i havent had a chance to respond to your post. i have been in and out on the holidays.

do you have skype?