Jehovah's Witnesses
 

Just knocked my door and they were two MILFS not usual grannies, i couldn't keep from offering them alternative scenario to their brochure, unfortunately they just giggled and went away.. but they didn't say NO!

Just like the mormons... they travel in pairs to deter one another from defecting.

TO get to them, just ask them why they are at your house when they obviously have recruited more than 144,000 members across the world. Thats their special "to be saved" number when Jehova steps back on earth.

Also, to really throw them off, especially the new ones... ask about the infamous 3 headed dog lion dragon thing that they believe roam ed the earth back in the day...



Sounds like you almost had a spiritual orgy...

You are an idiot and have no idea what your talking about.

WHAT?! I always get two square dudes that I send packing in 3 seconds.

I had an old male room mate that made out with his boyfriend after he invited them in. they never came back for some reson.

Yo...Responded to your email awhile ago....

Hit me up.

If you do, I'll smack Deej the idiot for you. He's sitting in my office 6 feet away from me right now.

I should write a book about all my various jehovah meetings. They always just happen to come at the perfect time.

Heres a couple short tidbits

One time my dog peed on leg of jehova

Another time my daughter broke her nose racing her sibling to door to be first to answer door, bled profusely all over jehovah.

The very same jehova exactly one year to the day later gets foot run over by my neighbour while crossing driveway.

elaborate some.... throw me some knowledge since im apparently lacking according to your standards...

your = you're

Idiot. :winkwink:

Charles do enlighten me because these are things I read in Jehova literature in the past.

Are you saying Im completely off? Are you saying these two stories I heard are not in any Jehova literature nor mythology of the religion?


And if so, why have Jehovas reacted to and tried to defend the 144k mark to me...

I consider myself an open-minded individual, and have set up a specific day and time for the JW's to come by and we discuss the Bible among other things. I don't always agree with them, but that's OK.

As far as the 144K, from what I have learned they're to be part of 'The Kingdom' - basically the governing body. Plenty more will be saved, but will not be part of that elite crowd.

I don't know about the dog/lion, but we have talked about the Nephilim (Demons took the form of man to get busy with our women and sired a race of giants. It was these giants that were so violent that prompted God to cleanse the earth with the Great Flood) a bit. It appeals to me because there is actual proof of giant races in the fossil record.

Cereberus?

http://www.gigaweb.com/files/product...BS_C/17857.jpg

And if we switch a subject a little still talking figures tho, will 420 be somewhat useful here? :2 cents::2 cents::thumbsup:winkwink:

Cool... Someone to express some thought rather than just spew insults with no back up...

Right or wrong these are things I have gleaned in the past regarding the religion.

I can only assume that Charles is Jehova by his reaction. Instead of just throwing out your thoughts on my intellect.... maybe you could "correct" me... thats if you can refute these words of mine.

ALready there is someone in here atleast giving a resembling story...

Now obviously I do not believe in a 3 headed anything... giant or beast... but its in the books as a belief to that religion.

Did I misinterpret? maybe... but its definitely a capable misinterpretation rather than just being an idiot for repeating a really close statistic and myth.

Makes sense though... that reaction is very similar to the other religious folk that get stuck when i try to razz them about their own religions weird beliefs.


Shit... good thing I didnt start talking about Dinosaurs and christians...

I guess? im not sure if its the same for all people and religion but its again, what I read in their literature.

dog or not i just remember it had 3 heads...

i like it when jehovah's or other religious types come to the door with their kids. i will just talk to the kid, telling him/her to think for themselves and not to just blindly accept this religious brainwashing they've been born into. it usually pisses the parents off pretty bad.

While I can not confirm the idiot part, what Deej said was infact wrong.

What newB said about the 144k is sort of correct, they are meant to form the government alongside Jesus in heaven, and are selected from faithful christians ( read Jehovahs Witnesses) wo belong to the annointed.

The annointed are those who decided they are the choosen (read crazy) ones and partake at the bread and wine at their yearly memorial service.

Unfortunately for the watchtower society, the 144k has long been reached and they have to keep rewriting their doctrines offering off the changes to their followers as "new light". After so many Harmageddon dates have come and gone not many of their original theories still hold place.

Your average Jehovah's Witness will probably not be 100% certain of his exact beliefs at any moment in time as there are constant changes being made by the governing body in their new york betheln that are then slowly fed to their slaves worldwide in the form of "spiritual food" ie, their internal watchtower version( not the fluffy ones you get at the door) and other indoctrination publications.

I have had the misfortune of getting to know them.
I feel sorry for those idiots:upsidedow

People die and as it looks their sign up ratio is fucked :) so they are hunting again and agian ::)

Awesome, more actual discussion regarding my blatherings.

So just to clarify, the only thing IM blatantly wrong about is the 3 headed dog beast.

By "to be saved" i referred to the actual meaning ANnointed. I did not mean all others would burn in hell... but by reading what I have... Its basically the same thing as the "annointed" are the cream of the crop, the believers, the rule makers and breakers. The rest are less than. The non believers... The unsaved. They dont get a white chariot ride to the gates.

Where am I so off that I'm an idiot and have no idea what I'm talking about.

Funny how u step on a religion and you get insults from the inside... yet you get positive discussion from the outside.

More proof that most all religion is a hypocritical sham...



No offense has ever been intended Charles... but do reflect and see where someone else is coming from. :thumbsup

You could be doing them a a favor...

Those annointed who die are still in for a place in the government as they get resurrected once Harmageddon comes. Also, yes their sign up ratios are fucked:upsidedow, but even worse is their retention of those they catch. It is kind of like a revolving door, people coming in and people going out.

Most newly baptized are people born in the faith. The amount of people they catch while actually knocking doors is very very small and are mostly old and/or social rejects.

So their door knocking is actually pretty much pointless but there is a lot of pressure for them to perform in this circus and at the end of each month they are expected to hand in a time slip of their hours in service. A "faithful christian" is supposed to at least meet their per head average of 10 hours a month, although a lot more is "encouraged".

Those who want pioneer status are expected to hand in something like 60 or 70 hours (not quite sure) a month.

Pics or it didn't happen :pimp

LoL :1orglaugh

Your 3 headed dog I am not sure about, as I said so much keeps changing, whether things are meant symbolically or to be taken as truth, as well as plenty more.

No Jehovah's Witness will know or at least openly admit that their beginnings were in pyramidology, as similar to the book 1984 by George Orwell, their own history is constantly being rewritten to suit their current needs. This is also why outside information and own research or thinking is strongly discouraged.

The annointed have a sure place in heaven as rulers alongside jesus to govern the people who live on paradise earth forever after harmageddon. They do not actually believe in hell. Those who are not saved merely cease to exist.

Interesting point: Those who do not have the chance to get to know "the truth" while on earth and thus remain sinners, have a chance after harmageddon to prove themselves and live forever on paradise earth. Those who get to know "the truth" and reject it do not.

So best choice is to shoo them away and keep that backdoor open:):upsidedow

I hate Surprise God Followers.
Its very unprofessional.

Interesting thread.


I dated a girl who's parents were Jehovah's Witnesses. This chick was banging hot!!


Would meet with her dad(who was very smart) and her mom(serious Crack Pot) when they would visit us or when we would visit them. I even went to their church. It was nothing different than going to any other Christian or Catholic church.


They never would try and sell me on there religion. I always respected her dad for that. But because he would never try and sell me, my curiosity was always peaked and I was always asking questions. Learned a lot about a lot.I dated this girl for 2 1/2 years.


I might not personally agree with their religion, but I did show all Jehovah's Witnesses partitioners and my girlfriends parents the utmost respect. Right or wrong(im not one to say or judge) they were good people always doing charitable things, spreading the word of god(as does the bible says) and just being all around good people. I wish there were more people like that on this Earth.



Lastly at the end of the day no matter how hokey a particular religion may seem from the outside they all do the same basic thing. And that is teach their partitioners right from wrong, be kind to others and as a reward, it gives people hope for some kind of after life.


There is nothing wrong with that.:2 cents:

I had a Jehovah's Witness friend that strayed for a little bit. He told me to tell them i was an apostate and that they would never come back.

I did not elaborate because when someone makes such obvious troll like statements it usually does not do much to explain why they are so off base. Further I do not have the time or desire to defend a religion that I was thrown out of many years ago.

Lets just say I have very intimate knowledge of the system, my father thinks he is one of the 144K and is recognized as such and the entire thing is a massive cluster fuck. So B.Barnato and NewB are close enough with the answers but are still a bit off mark. There is no 3 headed dog. Nephalim are the children of the demons not the demons/angels themselves and this is a bible thing not a JW thing. 144K is those that go to heaven sort of an advisory position and no not all 144K have been accounted for atleast not 15 years or so ago when I last checked

I have idea how to get them into random sex, call them to step in, then tell them that you want to be a witnesse but your balls are full and you need first to blow out a load, if they want they can help you or just let them watch you, later ask them to bring you cash to sign in papers :)

so your rude post to Deej was just because you have issues with your father..

if your father is a JW then he is a loon anyway, get over it... :2 cents:





.

Religion is a disease of the mind.
It's all crack headery.

God is laughing his ass off at the stupidity.

fuck religion FUCK :mad:

So easy to mock at someone that believes ... you too "non-believers" have gods and contemporary myths (you should get rid of those).

I have had some hot J-dubs come by, but never could get her to convert to sex! :(

JW are not loons. Everything they teach and the word that they spread all comes from the Bible. The same bible that all of the Christians and Catholics read from. Their interpretations are just a little bit different than others.



Im not defending his attack on Deej,(Deej is good people) but its lame to attack a whole religion when you don't understand it.



What am I?? I was born a Jew who doesn't attack others for their beliefs. I personally don't subscribe to any organized religion. I like to think for myself. :2 cents:

i think anyone who is a religious extremist is a loon and JW are definitely extremist...

the bible is a book of fairy tales written by men that were smart enough to realize that in order for people to maintain any type of order, they needed something very big to fear...




.

They always drag children along with them here as if you will be embarrassed to tell them to go away and increase their success rate.

I think the exact same thing... To a "T".:thumbsup




But I don't think that JW falls into that extreme category.:2 cents:

I hope you guys are dressed....:1orglaugh

My take on this is that anyone who comes to the door and can't tell you who they are (Amway, Jehovah's Witness) tells you that something is wrong. They always want to make the small talk until I ask. "are you a Jehovah's witness? Not interested thanks!

Also the tithing a portion of your income, I don't believe that religion should need funding. That goes for Catholics, Mormons or Johos, although I'm sure that there are many others that require it

Tithing is not a requirement for JW's this is another falsity.

Hung this in my driveway and they haven't been back. Also got the driveway alarm hooked back up so I know when those idiots are coming again.
http://i52.tinypic.com/v81ow1.jpg

Deej I hear you’re a good guy and calling you an idiot was not right. I simply hate when people make false accusations about any religion. I have studied most of them and they all have odd things about them but they each have good also. Jw's are not perfect and im actually kicked out completely but can still see the good it has brought many members.

I am good peeps. MOdest?! :1orglaugh

I too study most religions. Perhaps the 3 headed thing was off base but I has on par with 144k

I wasnt really "bashing"at least I didnt intend to.

Almost all religions have virtues to them to make people a better person.

But ill say this and I hope not to offend.

Religion is a crutch for weak minded or bad people. The bible is a good guide for those that need it.


People that think for themselves and are just can get by just fine on their own.

Religion is order by fear. Plain and simple.

Are religious people bad? No. Is organized religion bad... I think so. Once you introduce politics into the system... its no longer about guiding people for the right reason.





I appreciate the response, Charles. My initial post was only meant to make people laugh and think.

Great response, man.

Here's my :2 cents:

However, not all Christians believe in 'doing good' to get a 'reward'. Some believe that faith in Christ alone, not one's own good works, frees one from the penalty of death (the wages of sin) and starts the process of changing one's attitude and nature so they COULD (not through their own power) follow Christ's commandments. In essence, Christ, through you, is following his own commandments and leading you to a better life because you couldn't do it on your own.