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-   -   Hell explained by a chemistry student (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=1054970)

onwebcam 01-25-2012 09:33 PM

Hell explained by a chemistry student
 
:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student. The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely.. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

xNetworx 01-25-2012 09:37 PM

http://www.zmescience.com/wp-content...1/03/sleep.jpg

WarChild 01-25-2012 09:55 PM

Of course it's not what it claims to be. Only a Paultard would believe otherwise.

http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp

onwebcam 01-25-2012 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WarChild (Post 18712648)
Of course it's not what it claims to be. Only a Paultard would believe otherwise.

http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp

Only a liberal would really give a shit where it came from. :1orglaugh:1orglaugh

keysync 01-25-2012 10:04 PM

yeah funny
nerd humor

96ukssob 01-25-2012 10:04 PM

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

porno jew 01-25-2012 10:07 PM

can't wait to see what grandma forwards you tomorrow.

Best-In-BC 01-25-2012 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onwebcam (Post 18712652)
Only a liberal would really give a shit where it came from. :1orglaugh:1orglaugh

:thumbsup:thumbsup

WarChild 01-25-2012 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onwebcam (Post 18712652)
Only a liberal would really give a shit where it came from. :1orglaugh:1orglaugh

I might be the least Liberal person on this whole board. You on the other hand are hook, line and sinker a Paultard and conspiracy nutbar. :thumbsup

onwebcam 01-25-2012 10:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WarChild (Post 18712678)
I might be the least Liberal person on this whole board. You on the other hand are hook, line and sinker a Paultard and conspiracy nutbar. :thumbsup

Congratulations on the achievement, now go grab a sense of humor. :thumbsup

2intense 01-25-2012 11:02 PM

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

LRS 01-26-2012 12:22 AM

i loved it.. and i dont give 3 shits who wrote it or where it came from..

2MuchMark 01-26-2012 12:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StripperCash (Post 18712636)

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Far-L 01-26-2012 01:28 AM

If the chemistry thing doesn't work out then you can safely say that the student has a future as a humorist if he doesn't become a chemist.

jimmy-3-way 01-26-2012 01:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onwebcam (Post 18712633)
:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term...

This would be a thermodynamics midterm at the U of A and not chemistry, and thus not taken by chemistry students but by engineering students and having been to the home of the Wildcats, I'm highly dubious that there are any female engineering students at all.

charliebitme 01-26-2012 02:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onwebcam (Post 18712633)
:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

...
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

hahaha, awesome :D

pornmasta 01-26-2012 02:51 AM

non sense for me, also it is not chemistry but thermodynamics

Fletch XXX 01-26-2012 06:26 AM

as they say, nothing fails like a prayer, science will prove religion bullshit every single time.

John-ACWM 01-26-2012 07:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StripperCash (Post 18712636)

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Phoenix 01-26-2012 07:28 AM

nice one :)

u-Bob 01-26-2012 07:38 AM

old but funny :)

ottopottomouse 01-26-2012 08:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by porno jew (Post 18712659)
can't wait to see what grandma forwards you tomorrow.

tomorrow is a load of stuff about why life was better in the 1950s.


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