OK... So I Admit Defeat - What am I doing wrong?
 

There was a nice bush in my garden, near the door on a very fertile patch of land.

For the last 6 years I have been throwing my cigarette butts into the bush, and today, the bush has completely died...

Thing is, despite my diligence, there is still NO sign whatsoever, of a cigarette tree?

What am I doing wrong?

The cigarette butts only grow into cigarette trees if they don't have lipstick on.

It is very simple, you need to always use same cigarettes.

You should have "water" it with Scotch.... not sure how old - but the cheaper one should do the job. And of course - the manure... ;-)

The grass outside my veranda is the same :(

Sounds like a parable for no-traffic splogs.

I would definitely put in a support ticket to the Marlboro man, something very strange is going on because it worked for me.

A cigarette in the hand is worth two in the bush :2 cents:

DUDE! Really? I shit all over it DAILY!!!!!!!!! :thumbsup

there we have it, you're only supposed to use vegetarian, or (even better) vegan poo!

:1orglaugh

You want a cigarette tree, not a cigarette butt tree... wrong seed...

:D

Your neighbours must have some interesting pics...