Quote of the day by me:
 

HEY! I was meaning to text you but I forgot your phone number... I have a fancy possibly expensive girly thing that makes women be able to straighten their hair while it's still wet hair, I think that is what it does, and you can have it because I don't want it and I just found it in here earlier

I am so adorable. It's no wonder women love me so much:

You're welcome
It does some interesting shit, I plugged it in and then the screen turned blue and I pressed a button and then BLAM the screen turned green

Please stop posting.

Alright
Sorry about that

Young women sure do like hair things
I guess all women do though


8:02pm
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Sweeeeeeet
Im excited

8:09pm
Fred Maxwell
About what?

8:09pm
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This tool youre giving me

you should start dating younger bitchezz

I second that - please stop posting - now.

Why stop posting

It's really quite simple.

He's making the baby jesus cry.

The next text you got from her was, "English! Do you speak it motherfucker?!"