Is "I shaved my balls in vain"...
 

... a proper text message to a girl that stood you up?

I've been meditating about text message etiquette.

It's warranted IMO OP

Only proves you had no other pussy lined up and you stink unless you think pussy is imminent.

Wouldnt even bother to reply myself...

she might change her mind after all, so why not.

Totally acceptable.

Accidently send her a pic of a tongue licking your big shaved smooth clean balls.

i've just gone with "ow, my blue balls" but i can see where you're coming from, in a train in vain kinda way

Yes it is :1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Best to not send anything in this situation (worst - to send something angry etc). Sending something "funny" like that may be in the middle :)

I think a more effective reply in this situation is this: "I know where you live and I am watching you right now..." :thumbsup

I love shaven balls. Clean & tasty, not sweaty & no need to pick hairs from your mouth :thumbsup

It is my second best Tinder pick up line....
Naturally my first best is: (only works when I am in Tennessee and the south in general)

Hey hun, are you from the south ? Would u still be interested in me even if I tell you that I am NOT your cousin ?

Send pic of said balls to her with a sad face drawn on them with a sharpie, OP

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

That was encouraging ...

Don't wait until an hour before pussy to shave is all I'm saying.

:1orglaugh

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh ...