never lend money to friends or family... always turns out bad
 

I lent some family (not technically, but related through my gf) money a few weeks ago. It was only a temporary loan for about a week, but now three have passed by and now I feel like an asshole for asking for it back.

on top of that, another "family" member asked me to let him borrow money because he is to lazy to get a job. i said no and i have a really good feeling i am getting talked badly about for not doing so.

thinking about it now, ive lent several friends money or bought them something in the past few years and never got paid back, even after I have asked. Its hard enough having to ask for the money back once, let alone multiple times. I had two close friends that I lent them several thousands of dollars and ruined our friendship badly after threatening to sue them for it back.

honestly, i dont understand it. ive never liked borrowing money from someone unless I really needed it. and when I have, ive always made a mental note to take what I owe and put that aside so I dont count it in as my own money.

just my :2 cents: for today :winkwink:

I understand man, same thing has happened many times to me with friends. If I have every borrowed I always make sure I pay it back ASAP.

give them nothing and expect nothing?

Make a rule not to lend money to friends and family. If you are able to, then just give them money without expecting it back.

I say if you can't afford to give the money away then don't lend it.

:(

i love to borrow money from family and friends. they usually don't like to ask for it back.

Always ends in tears :2 cents:

I will always loan money to a family or friend in need, I will not loan more than I can afford and I do not have any expectations for being paid back. If it takes a week, great, if it takes a year so be it. It's sounds like you either get walked over a lot or you need better "friends".

the least they could do is give a receipt so i can use it for a tax write off :1orglaugh

The easiest way to avoid this is to never mix friends/family/money

You've been burned a few times, so why is it a shocker it keeps happening

my mom alwayz told me only lend out what your willing to lose

Lending to family members can not only cost you money but also the relationship. Hope you don't learn the hard way.

Have you asked? LOL


:winkwink:

I have never had a problem lending money to family. I have always got it back and most times they offered interest which I declined.

I have never been asked by a friend for a loan so I wouldn't know how that works out. Its something I would prefer to avoid anyway.

Actually if someone doesn't pay pack a loan it's considered taxable income to that person. Wait a year then call the IRS on them. :1orglaugh


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You seem to be getting yourself knee-deep in shit lately, may want to throw on some rubber boots. ;-)

If I help out family it is always with the expectation of not getting it back. No chance for disappointment or problems that way. Luckily I don't have friends that have ever asked.

I feel for ya. If they push the point and want to talk bad about you, then they were not worth lending the money to anyway....family or not.

Maybe you should take collateral, like the title to their car, when they don?t pay up, sell the car :1orglaugh:1orglaugh

just do whatever you can for them, i wouldn't expect it back... and yes they will treat u like an asshole for holding it over their heads

I have them sign a promissory note, with interest, just like anybody else.

I know how that goes and i promised myself never in my life lend anyone a fucking penny. My cousin owes me $900 bucks for 2 years now and he still hasn't paid, one of my friend owes me 11k, i made him sign a promissory note and I'm hoping he pays me by the time the due date expires on the agreement or else

A refined gentleman such as myself will sometimes use a quote from the classics when confronted by irresponsible peasants .......

Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

William Shakespeare, "Hamlet", Act 1 scene 3


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sorry to hear that bossku69


sounds annoying

I have forgiven more debts than I can remember. It's part of life.

Didn't you just lose 25K on a scam and you said that was your savings?

If so wtf is your problem??? You have the perfect excuse not to loan people money... Tell them how you were scammed out of your savings and you don't have any money left over. Poor mouth. Laugh and ask them for a loan.

When it comes to family and friends it should never be "I dont want to loan you money" but that you would you just don't have any to loan.

Also what works is if they are asking for say $500 give them $50 and tell them thats all you have. If they bitch they look ungratefull. If they don't pay you back, in most cases they wont ask for more because they know they still owe you. So it cost you $50 to look like the good guy and not be bothered from them anymore. Instead of being out $500, not getting it back and you looking like the asshole for hounding them for repayment.

I learned that lesson many years ago. Now I wouldnt lend money to anyone (except my mom, and she's never asked!) for any reason at all. There's an old Cuban saying:
"if you lend money to a friend, you lose the money and the friend". Those darn Cubans know their sh*t :)

it was about two years ago that the money is gone, but just realized/told that i wont be getting any of it back :( but yeah, true. honestly, that is one of the reasons i gave this guy money because i was out $10k from my friend and figured id be able to make it back a little faster.

:1orglaugh i actually just had this happen this past weekend. had someone ask me for over $100 and i had change from something earlier which was about $11, so i said "i have $11, now your about 1/9th the way there" and he said "dude, wtf, dont even bother" :1orglaugh

if someone is really in need (family or friends), i just give them the money straight up. it's nice if they pay you back of course, but i do it with the idea that i'm not ever going to see it again. i paid for my brothers entire university career (4 year bachelors degree, 2 year masters), and he's just finally getting to the point when he can do some nice things financially for me.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

would make a great Halloween costume... for about 5 seconds

I agree to that.

A smaller loan between friends is in my eyes a 1 time gift (something less than a couple of 100), if they pay it back then great and I'd help them out again, if not then probably not.

I have lent money to many friends they have never paid back are no longer friends anymore :(

Add coworkers to that list.

I make gifts to my family and close friends without expecting anything in return but dont lend money. This is my rule!

Amen toe dat shit.

For October I am $8000.00+ in the hole. Some are personal friend loans, others not. Needless to say it makes it a brutal fucking month.

:disgust

lending money has always proven to be a means to opening a door that usually people would rather have left shut!

too bad man, i lost $2k this way!

When family asks you for money, take them out for lunch and then say no.

Before my divorce was final, my ex-wife asked to borrow $1K because she didn't have the money to take the board exams for her MD. It was just about all I had at the time, but I lent it to her.

That was 15 years ago.
She's been a doctor for 15 years and never paid it back.

:disgust

I anticipated this issue when an ex wanted a new car. She wanted a "loan" of $500. I refused, but I GAVE her $500 for it. She was confused by my attitude, but years later when she was packing her bags for the curb, she asked when I wanted the $500 back! LOL! I told her NEVER, thats why it was a GIFT. Goodbye with no strings attached was worth every penny!