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-   -   HELP!!! my g/f tried to ass-burglarize me!! (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=104126)

MetaMan 02-02-2003 02:00 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by mongoose403
we were both in bed kind of fucked-up and she told me she loved fucking me but wanted to try something else, I said ok whatever thinking maybe a blindfold or something, then she proceeded to pull out a bic and tried to poke it up my ass! WTF!! :helpme
hey at least it wasnt a zippo

ZoiNk 02-02-2003 02:01 AM
Bic... Bic lighter... Bic pen or Bic shaver?
I would go for the shaver personally, mmmm, espially the razor side in first! Just tell her what some prude chicks I know say "Exit only!!!!"
ZoiNk

thatdykeliz 02-02-2003 02:01 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by pink_in_the_middle
Your gf stuck a LIGHTER up your ass!!!
Does she know that certain stores sell toys for anal play???

:1orglaugh
No shit, Pink...this reminds me of a story I read, about a doc who removed a lighter from a guy's ass in the ER one night. The next day, one of the nurses saw him outside taking a break and she walked up and said, "I heard about the guy with the lighter in his behind last night. Did you get it out for him?"

"Yes, I did," the doctor replied. Then he took out his smokes and lit one up, saying, "And look! It still works, too!"

:Graucho

MetaMan 02-02-2003 02:07 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by thatdykeliz


No shit, Pink...this reminds me of a story I read, about a doc who removed a lighter from a guy's ass in the ER one night. The next day, one of the nurses saw him outside taking a break and she walked up and said, "I heard about the guy with the lighter in his behind last night. Did you get it out for him?"

"Yes, I did," the doctor replied. Then he took out his smokes and lit one up, saying, "And look! It still works, too!"

:Graucho
off topic but i saw this guy on tv and a doctor found an eraser in his nose that had been there for at least 15 years! he shoved it in his nose when he was young and never realized it till he got an xray like 15 years later

escorpio 02-02-2003 03:50 AM
I f she gets a pet gerbil dump her FAST!

Rex 02-02-2003 05:58 AM
You seem like you'd like it!

Mr.Fiction 02-02-2003 06:05 AM
I read this thread twice today and it was funny both times.

DarkJedi 02-02-2003 08:10 AM
now you can get some anal sex out of her: "your turn !!" thing

mongoose403 02-02-2003 04:40 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by spunky1
Was it Lit ?...did you squeel like a piglet and cum?









it was a jumbo lighter...

did you miss the part where I said "TRIED to poke it up my ass"

when I grabbed her hand I almost broke her wrist!

Sharky 02-02-2003 07:50 PM
a lighter?

haha. that's hillarious! unless you've done that to her before!

Spunky 02-02-2003 07:52 PM
can we call you Rump Ranger now...:)

Nasty D 02-02-2003 08:01 PM
EXIT ONLY!!!!!:BangBang: :BangBang:

nofx 02-02-2003 10:31 PM
:winkwink: be open to experimentation

xxxdesign-net 02-02-2003 10:39 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by CrazyNakedChick
next time tell her to trim her nails short, use her finger (not a lighter), and apply spit liberally. :thumbsup

sorry guys, i have always thought men were built for anal sex(not necessarily gay by any means unless it's another dude you're doing it with). you'd be surprised by how many women are open to this and turned on to doing/trying it .....

:eek7 :repuke

pink_in_the_middle 02-02-2003 10:42 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by thatdykeliz


No shit, Pink...this reminds me of a story I read, about a doc who removed a lighter from a guy's ass in the ER one night. The next day, one of the nurses saw him outside taking a break and she walked up and said, "I heard about the guy with the lighter in his behind last night. Did you get it out for him?"

"Yes, I did," the doctor replied. Then he took out his smokes and lit one up, saying, "And look! It still works, too!"

:Graucho
:1orglaugh :1orglaugh Thats fucking funny :thumbsup :1orglaugh

KrazieSweets 02-02-2003 11:54 PM
:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :

Voodoo 02-03-2003 12:02 AM
Ok, here's the solution...
First, tell her that you really want to do this, but you want to do it right, and make a "memorable" experience. Have her go buy a huge dildo.

A couple days prior to doing this, start eating lots of bran and prunes, and oats. Don't shit for a couple days.

When the night comes about, and you are getting ready to do this... Have her grease up the dildo, and get ready... then bend over, and just before she starts to put it in... blow everything out that you've been saving up.

She'll never ask you to do it again!
:1orglaugh


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