:helpme 'So you want them mounted?' asked the taxidermist. To which she replied ; 'No. Holding hands will do just fine.' :disgust

Michigan Crazy Law
You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan.


It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.

A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.


Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.


There is a 10 cent bounty for each rat's head brought into a town office.


Clawson
There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.


Detroit
Alligators may not be tied to fire hydrants.


It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose. According to history and animal husbandry, it prevents them from "rooting" in the ground for their food.


Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited.


It is illegal for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday.


Grand Haven
No person shall throw an abandoned hoop skirt into any street or on any sidewalk, under penalty of a five- dollar fine for each offense.


Harper Woods
It is illegal to paint sparrows to sell them as parakeets.


Kalamazoo
It is against the law to serenade your girlfriend.


Rochester
All bathing suits must have been inspected by the head of police.


Soo
Smoking while in bed is illegal.


Wayland
Anyone can keep their cow on Main Street downtown at a cost of 3 cents per day.

Minnesota Crazy Law
Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head.


All bathtubs must have feet.


A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head.

All men driving motorcycles must wear shirts.


It is illegal to sleep naked.


Hibbing
It shall be the duty of any policeman or any other officer to enforce the provisions of this Section, and if any cat is found running at large, or which is found in any street, alley or public place, it shall be the duty of any policeman or other officer of the city to kill such cat.


Minneapolis
Red cars can not drive down Lake Street


St. Cloud
Hamburgers may not be eaten on Sundays.


Virginia
You're not allowed to park your elephant on Main Street.

:Hollering Because it would look silly with six inches. :rasta

Mississippi Crazy Law
Vagrancy is punishable by either 30 days in prison or a $201 fine. -Sec. 97-35-37


Cattle rustling is punishable by hanging.

Horses are not to be housed within 50 feet of any road.


Columbus
The fine for waving a gun in public is higher than actually shooting it.


Oxford
Motor vehicles on the square are prohibited.


It is illegal to drive around the town square more than 100 times in a single session.


Horn honking is not permitted as it might scare horses.


One may not spit on the sidewalks on the square.


Tylertown
It is unlawful to shave in the center of main street.

Missouri Crazy Law
It is not illegal to speed. (Repealed)


Buckner
In this small town of only 4,000, yard waste may be burned any day except Sunday.

Excelsior Springs
Worrying squirrels is not tolerated.


Hard objects may not be thrown by hand.


Kansas City
Installation of bathtubs with four legs resembling animal paws is prohibited.


Minors are not allowed to purchase cap pistols, however they may buy shotguns freely.


Marceline
Minors can buy rolling paper and tobacco but not lighters.


Marquette
It is illegal for more than four unrelated persons to occupy the same dwelling (The Brothel Law).


Mole
Frightening a baby is in violation of the law.


Natchez
It shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants.


Purdy
Dancing is strictly prohibited.


St. Louis
It's illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket. This law refers back to the extinct Italian celebration, Hill Day, when beer was served in buckets.


A milk man may not run while on duty.


University City
Four women may not rent an apartment together.

Fitness chicks are best:winkwink:

:winkwink: but sure looks better on a woman. :evil-laug

are the longest thred still winning a dvd player or whatever? =)

Montana Crazy Law
It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.


It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail.

Seven or more indians are considered a raiding or war party and it is legal to shoot them. (Repealed)


It is a misdemeanor to show movies that depict acts of felonious crime.


In Montana, it is illegal for married women to go fishing alone on Sundays, and illegal for unmarried women to fish alone at all.


Excelsior Springs
Balls may not be thrown within the city limits.


Helena
No item may be thrown across a street.


Salisbury
Pop bottles are not to be thrown on the ground.


Whitehall
It is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels.

so whenz this gonna end?

Nebraska Crazy Law
It is illegal for a mother to give her daughter a perm without a state license.


It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.

It is Illegal to go whale fishing.


If a child burps during church, his parent may be arrested.


Lehigh
Doughnut holes may not be sold


Omaha
A man is not allowed to run around with a shaved chest.


Sneezing or burping is illegal during a church service.


Waterloo
Barbers are forbidden from eating onions between 7 A.M. and 7 P.M.

:moon Darling. :winkwink:

Nevada Crazy Law
It's still "legal" to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property.


It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway.

Clark County
An ordinance makes bringing a concealable fire arm into the county illegal unless it is registered with the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department. In order to register a handgun, however, it must be brought in to the police station. Furthermore, you may not register a gun on the weekends, but the police may prosecute you at that time.


Elko
Everyone walking the streets is required to wear a mask.


Eureka
Men who wear moustaches are forbidden from kissing women.


Nyala
A man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three people other than himself at any one period during the day.

:ticking Why do women get periods? :hi

New Hampshire Crazy Law
It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach.


It is considered an offense to check into a hotel under an assumed name.

Any cattle that crosses state roads must be fitted with a device to gather its feces.


You cannot sell the clothes you are wearing to pay off a gambling debt.


You may not run machinery on Sundays.


You may not tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe.


On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up.


White Mountain Nat. Forest
If a person is caught raking the beaches, picking up litter, hauling away trash, building a bench for the park, or many other kind things without a permit, he/she may be fined $150 for ''maintaining the national forest without a permit''.

:NopeNope Because they deserve them. :xomunch

:2 cents: Because he was stapled to the chickens back. :stoned

:D There were four 80 year old men playing golf. One complained the hills were to high. The second complained the bunkers were too deep. The third said the holes were too wide. The fourth one said 'Shut up! At least we're still on the right side of the grass!' :2 cents:

:thumbsup Six stages of married life:1: Tri-weekly2: Try weekly3: Try weakly4. Try oysters5: Try anything6: Try to remember :D

:smokin A man took his wife to the doctors. After a short examination the doctor said 'Your wife's mind has completely gone!'. To which the man replied 'I'm not surprised. She's been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 25 years!' :fart

:girl The graduate with a science degree asks 'Why does it work?' :Graucho

:D The graduate with an engenieering degree asks 'How does it do that?' :uhoh

:feels-hot The graduate with an accounting degree asks 'How much does it cost?' :1orglaugh

:moon 'Was your wife a virgin when you married?' :winkwink:

:Buck: 'I don't know. Some say yes. Some say no.' :waaaaahh

:Grrrrrr What is the last thing to go through the mind of a mosquito when it hits your windscreen? :sleep

:evil-laug It's ass. :Oh crap

:thumbsup What's brown and sticky? :stoned

:Oh crap A stick. :321GFY

:rainfro If a rotwieler starts humping your leg you let it finish. :drinkup

lol

:321GFY I'd cross the hottest desert :NopeNope

:Grrrrrr You must have come from the shallow end of the gene pool. :BangBang:

:repuke the town flasher ran up and described himself. :fart

SMOKEY THE BOT

http://pix.segfault.cz/gfy/stfu/shuthole.jpg

http://pix.segfault.cz/gfy/stfu/shuthole.jpg

http://pix.segfault.cz/gfy/stfu/shuthole.jpg

:sleep What do you get if you cross an Irish man with a Gernan? :Note

:angel A man who's too drunk to follow orders. :hi

:1orglaugh Two cows in a field. One says to the other 'What do you think about this mad cow desease?' The other one replies 'Blimey! a talking cow!' :disgust

:karaoke one hardly used. :cool-as-a

:waaaaahh It isn't hard. :BangBang:

:Oh crap so she took them to the taxodermist :boid

:eek2 Why does an elephant have four feet? :xomunch

:winkwink: Because it would look silly with six inches. :moon

i dont know

:thefinger but sure looks better on a woman. :eek2

:Grrrrrr What do you call a woman who can suck golf balls through a hose? :girl

:GFYBand Why do women get periods? :angel

OK, too much abuse in this thread.