2:01 am on Thursday 26th August 2004

post

... but now... :-)

:thumbsup

2:03 am on Thursday 26th August 2004
how can i turn my 1k daily tgp into 10k tgp? the url is:
http://www.phatslinks.com

Mother Superior gathers her 100 nuns in a meeting room. In her hand she's carrying a paper bag. She pulls a man's pair of pants from the bag and says, "We found these in the hall last night."

99 of the nuns gasp,"Ahhhh!" 1 nun giggles "Heeheehee!" Mother Superior reaches in the bag again and pulls out a pair of men's underpants. "We also found these in the hall last night."

99 of the nuns gasp "Ahhhh!" 1 nun giggles "Heeheehee!" Mother superior reaches in the bag one last time and pulls out a condom and says, "But worst of all, we found this in the hall last night."

99 nuns gasp, "Ahhhh!" 1 nun giggles "Heeheehee!" Then Mother Superior says, "But it had a hole in it."

99 nuns giggle "Heeheehee!" and 1 nun gasps "Ahhhh!"

... who is 2500th? Posts or replies are counted?

Well now we are now on our way to the next winner at 3000

lol there's no winning 2500th post, only 2000th and 3000th :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

and hopefully i get the 3000th post:winkwink:


btw its 2:07am;)

493 post to 3000

:glugglug

:)

A man suffered a serious heart attack and had open heart surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic hospital. He awoke to see a nun beside his bed who questioned him about how he was going to pay for his hospital bill. The nun as asked if he had health insurance. He managed to shake his head and reply in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."

Then the nun asked if he had money in the bank saved for an emergency. He grimaced and answered, "No money in the bank." The nun then asked, "Well, do you have a relative who could help you?" He gathered a little strength to reply, "My only relative is a spinster sister who is a nun."

The nun became visibly perturbed and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."

"OK", the patient replied, "then you should send the bill to my brother-in-law."

I know it... it is only prestige:-)

:(

its the posts that are counted not the replys in this contest.
and the prizes left are at 3000, 4000, 4500, 5000
and they will be all mine. :Graucho

We're over the halfway mark to the contest ending.....good job guys :thumbsup

There were two nuns...




One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to assault us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most? What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
SM: It's not working.
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me
SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL: The only logical thing happened..... I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM: And?
SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.
SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.
SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants........



SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than man with his pants down.

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty, say two Hail Mary's!

:BangBang:

So, I am winner of 2500th prestige post?:-)

:feels-hot

A Child's View of Retirement

After a Christmas break, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holidays. One small boy wrote the following:
We always used to spend Christmas with Grandpa and Grandma. They used to live here in a big brick home, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Florida. Now they live in a place with a lot of other retarded people. They all live in little tin boxes. They ride on big three-wheeled tricycles and they all wear nametags because they don't know who they are. They go to a big building called a wrecking hall; but if it was wrecked, they got it fixed because it's all right now. They play games and do exercises there, but they don't do them very good.
There is a swimming pool there. They go into it and just stand there with their hats on. I guess they don't know how to swim.
As you go into their park, there is a dollhouse with a little man sitting in it. He watches all day so they can't get out without him seeing them. When they can sneak out they go to the beach and pick up shells that they think are dollars.
My Grandma used to bake cookies and stuff, but I guess she forgot how. Nobody cooks, they just eat out. They eat the same thing every night, Early Birds. Some of the people are so retarded that they don't know how to cook at all, so my Grandma and Grandpa bring food into the wrecked hall and they call it "pot luck."
My Grandma says Grandpa worked hard all his life and earned his retardment. I wish they would move back up here, but I guess the little man in the dollhouse won't let them out.

Winners so far

100th post: $50 - steen2
250th post: $75 - steen2
500th post: $100 - Keyser Soze
1500th post: $150 - Donners
2000th post: $200 - bjjb
3000th post: $225
4000th post: $300
4500th post: $500
5000th post: $1000

Yes you did wtg :thumbsup

:1orglaugh

:Graucho

:321GFY 2527posts

:2 cents:

Winners so far

100th post: $50 - steen2
250th post: $75 - steen2
500th post: $100 - Keyser Soze
1500th post: $150 - Donners
2000th post: $200 - bjjb
2500th post: $0 - soukee :-)
3000th post: $225
4000th post: $300
4500th post: $500
5000th post: $1000

:thumbsup for soukee

:ak47:
2:21am and still no plrey to what i asked

and many more to go

Thanks...:-)

:winkwink:

no one posting here anymore?

:thumbsup :winkwink:

:disgust

:warning

:D

:hi

:Kissmy

Count Us In!

:Grrrrrr

:Note

:question

A lady and her baby get on a bus. The bus driver looks at the lady, and then her baby, and then screams, "AHHHH! That's the ugliest child I've ever seen in my life!"
The lady then, totally disgusted, marches up to the back of the bus to sit down.
As she was sitting there absolutely furious, a man asks, "Are you ok, dear?"
The lady replies, "I'm so angry, that bus driver just insulted me."
The man says, "You go back up there and give that bus driver a piece of your mind, and I'll watch your monkey."

:stoned

Time for a toke break <///////////#~~

:stop

:tongue: