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Old 02-01-2003, 02:52 PM   #1
mongoose403
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HELP!!! my g/f tried to ass-burglarize me!!

we were both in bed kind of fucked-up and she told me she loved fucking me but wanted to try something else, I said ok whatever thinking maybe a blindfold or something, then she proceeded to pull out a bic and tried to poke it up my ass! WTF!!
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Old 02-01-2003, 02:53 PM   #2
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pimpslap that ho!
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Old 02-01-2003, 02:53 PM   #3
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Try it...you'll like it.
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Old 02-01-2003, 02:53 PM   #4
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Enjoy the moment... you get anal sex without being accused of being gay.. except you just told us moron.
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Old 02-01-2003, 02:54 PM   #5
ldinternet
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Take it like a man.
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Old 02-01-2003, 02:54 PM   #6
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Count yourself lucky it was'nt her fist

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Old 02-01-2003, 02:55 PM   #7
EscortBiz
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Quote:
Originally posted by mongoose403
we were both in bed kind of fucked-up and she told me she loved fucking me but wanted to try something else, I said ok whatever thinking maybe a blindfold or something, then she proceeded to pull out a bic and tried to poke it up my ass! WTF!!
Please keep your fantasies to yourself,
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Old 02-01-2003, 02:55 PM   #8
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Count yourself lucky it was'nt her fist

or a mongoose...
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Old 02-01-2003, 02:56 PM   #9
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Was it Lit ?...did you squeel like a piglet and cum?
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Old 02-01-2003, 02:57 PM   #10
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Originally posted by mongoose403
we were both in bed kind of fucked-up and she told me she loved fucking me but wanted to try something else, I said ok whatever thinking maybe a blindfold or something, then she proceeded to pull out a bic and tried to poke it up my ass! WTF!!
At least she didn't pull out a DICK and try to poke it up your ass.

THAT would be something to worry about!
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Old 02-01-2003, 02:57 PM   #11
CrazyNakedChick
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next time tell her to trim her nails short, use her finger (not a lighter), and apply spit liberally.

sorry guys, i have always thought men were built for anal sex(not necessarily gay by any means unless it's another dude you're doing it with). you'd be surprised by how many women are open to this and turned on to doing/trying it .....
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Old 02-01-2003, 02:58 PM   #12
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how did you react? how did she react to your reaction???
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Old 02-01-2003, 02:58 PM   #13
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Your gf stuck a LIGHTER up your ass!!!
Does she know that certain stores sell toys for anal play???

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Old 02-01-2003, 02:59 PM   #14
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Originally posted by galleryseek
how did you react? how did she react to your reaction???
Probably farted and went back to sleep
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Old 02-01-2003, 02:59 PM   #15
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how did you react? how did she react to your reaction???
just look at you... you curious little homo!
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Old 02-01-2003, 03:00 PM   #16
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Your gf stuck a LIGHTER up your ass!!!
Does she know that certain stores sell toys for anal play???

a pen perhaps?
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Old 02-01-2003, 03:01 PM   #17
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Originally posted by pink_in_the_middle
Your gf stuck a LIGHTER up your ass!!!
Does she know that certain stores sell toys for anal play???

thought your an anal virgin
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Old 02-01-2003, 03:04 PM   #18
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no shit, i would think a lighter would not feel too great - the more i think about it. buy some anal beads or a slim vibrator. the key is keeping everything well lubed.

hehehe chickenshit, you only live once. try it out, you'll most likely end up liking it if you communicate with her enough and tell her what feels good and what hurts.
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Old 02-01-2003, 03:05 PM   #19
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p1mpd0g will want pics!

count on dat
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Old 02-01-2003, 03:09 PM   #20
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Go along with it by all means, but you'd better start thinking of good excuses in case something gets stuck up there. Trust me, you don't want to turn up at ER with something like "I'd just got out of the shower when I fell over and got a pokemon stuck up my ass".


About ten years ago, a relative of mine had to go to hospital after accidentally sitting on a knitting needle. I will never forget that.
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Old 02-01-2003, 03:10 PM   #21
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Originally posted by CrazyNakedChick
no shit, i would think a lighter would not feel too great - the more i think about it. buy some anal beads or a slim vibrator. the key is keeping everything well lubed.

hehehe chickenshit, you only live once. try it out, you'll most likely end up liking it if you communicate with her enough and tell her what feels good and what hurts.
Show us some pics so he cna try it out... lol
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Old 02-01-2003, 03:11 PM   #22
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Damn, first kids kill their mother in the same style they did Ralphie in the Sopranos. Now you?re getting fucked by a bic. Next comes the strap on, Ralphie. You dirty nasty little whore, you know you want it. After all, you can't rape the willing!!!!

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Old 02-01-2003, 03:12 PM   #23
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p1mpd0g will want pics!

count on dat
and necoeds will steal them
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Old 02-01-2003, 03:19 PM   #24
galleryseek
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just look at you... you curious little homo!

lol shieet, we need a full story here. its quite comical.
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Old 02-01-2003, 03:46 PM   #25
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Sounds like she was just trying to stick a little gas up your ass.



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Old 02-01-2003, 03:57 PM   #26
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take it like a man
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Old 02-01-2003, 04:01 PM   #27
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why don't you just admit that you liked it?
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Old 02-01-2003, 08:07 PM   #28
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You should ask her to fist you.
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Old 02-01-2003, 08:11 PM   #29
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thought your an anal virgin
How do you get that I'm not from my post?
Perv
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Old 02-01-2003, 08:23 PM   #30
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I have the perfect site for you!

<a href="http://www.girlfucksguy.com">Girl Fucks Guy</a>
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Old 02-01-2003, 08:24 PM   #31
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Old 02-01-2003, 08:26 PM   #32
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ill never touch a BIC again
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Old 02-01-2003, 08:49 PM   #33
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:tongue

You're only gay if you take it

Oh, hold on....

!!!!!!!!
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Old 02-01-2003, 10:16 PM   #34
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one of my friends who happens to be a girl told me that she'd like to put on a strap-on and fuck a guy in the ass. i dunno, i guess some girls like being on the giving end once in a while?
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Old 02-01-2003, 10:17 PM   #35
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tip, If lit, dont fart
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Old 02-01-2003, 10:35 PM   #36
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my girlfriend tried to do that shit to me the day after the prom. she told me to close my eyes and relax, and naturally im thinking i'm about to get some head from her for the first time. WRONG. she tried to stick her fucking finger in my ass. forgave her but i didnt forget, i still harrass her about that shit to this day
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Old 02-02-2003, 01:42 AM   #37
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The cigarettes must taste even better now..

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Old 02-02-2003, 01:56 AM   #38
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OH pu-leeze. Guys love it, will neve admit it, but they do. How could so many gay guys be wrong? Lotsa lube, a strap on, start small, they love it!
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Old 02-02-2003, 01:57 AM   #39
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Old 02-02-2003, 01:58 AM   #40
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I know what you're thinking. Scary isn't it? Not only did it fit nicely, but it felt damn good.

















Homo

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Old 02-02-2003, 02:00 AM   #41
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Quote:
Originally posted by mongoose403
we were both in bed kind of fucked-up and she told me she loved fucking me but wanted to try something else, I said ok whatever thinking maybe a blindfold or something, then she proceeded to pull out a bic and tried to poke it up my ass! WTF!!
hey at least it wasnt a zippo
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Old 02-02-2003, 02:01 AM   #42
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Bic... Bic lighter... Bic pen or Bic shaver?
I would go for the shaver personally, mmmm, espially the razor side in first! Just tell her what some prude chicks I know say "Exit only!!!!"
ZoiNk
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Old 02-02-2003, 02:01 AM   #43
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Originally posted by pink_in_the_middle
Your gf stuck a LIGHTER up your ass!!!
Does she know that certain stores sell toys for anal play???

No shit, Pink...this reminds me of a story I read, about a doc who removed a lighter from a guy's ass in the ER one night. The next day, one of the nurses saw him outside taking a break and she walked up and said, "I heard about the guy with the lighter in his behind last night. Did you get it out for him?"

"Yes, I did," the doctor replied. Then he took out his smokes and lit one up, saying, "And look! It still works, too!"

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Old 02-02-2003, 02:07 AM   #44
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No shit, Pink...this reminds me of a story I read, about a doc who removed a lighter from a guy's ass in the ER one night. The next day, one of the nurses saw him outside taking a break and she walked up and said, "I heard about the guy with the lighter in his behind last night. Did you get it out for him?"

"Yes, I did," the doctor replied. Then he took out his smokes and lit one up, saying, "And look! It still works, too!"

off topic but i saw this guy on tv and a doctor found an eraser in his nose that had been there for at least 15 years! he shoved it in his nose when he was young and never realized it till he got an xray like 15 years later
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Old 02-02-2003, 03:50 AM   #45
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I f she gets a pet gerbil dump her FAST!
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Old 02-02-2003, 05:58 AM   #46
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You seem like you'd like it!
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Old 02-02-2003, 06:05 AM   #47
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I read this thread twice today and it was funny both times.
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Old 02-02-2003, 08:10 AM   #48
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now you can get some anal sex out of her: "your turn !!" thing
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Old 02-02-2003, 04:40 PM   #49
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Quote:
Originally posted by spunky1
Was it Lit ?...did you squeel like a piglet and cum?









it was a jumbo lighter...

did you miss the part where I said "TRIED to poke it up my ass"

when I grabbed her hand I almost broke her wrist!
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Old 02-02-2003, 07:50 PM   #50
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a lighter?

haha. that's hillarious! unless you've done that to her before!
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