Hell explained by a chemistry student - GoFuckYourself.com

onwebcam · 01-25-2012, 09:33 PM

The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student. The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely.. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

xNetworx · 01-25-2012, 09:37 PM

WarChild · 01-25-2012, 09:55 PM

Of course it's not what it claims to be. Only a Paultard would believe otherwise.

http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp

onwebcam · 01-25-2012, 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WarChild

Of course it's not what it claims to be. Only a Paultard would believe otherwise.

http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp

Only a liberal would really give a shit where it came from.

keysync · 01-25-2012, 10:04 PM

yeah funny
nerd humor

96ukssob · 01-25-2012, 10:04 PM

porno jew · 01-25-2012, 10:07 PM

can't wait to see what grandma forwards you tomorrow.

Best-In-BC · 01-25-2012, 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onwebcam

Only a liberal would really give a shit where it came from.

WarChild · 01-25-2012, 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onwebcam

Only a liberal would really give a shit where it came from.

I might be the least Liberal person on this whole board. You on the other hand are hook, line and sinker a Paultard and conspiracy nutbar.

onwebcam · 01-25-2012, 10:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WarChild

I might be the least Liberal person on this whole board. You on the other hand are hook, line and sinker a Paultard and conspiracy nutbar.

Congratulations on the achievement, now go grab a sense of humor.

2intense · 01-25-2012, 11:02 PM

LRS · 01-26-2012, 12:22 AM

i loved it.. and i dont give 3 shits who wrote it or where it came from..

2MuchMark · 01-26-2012, 12:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StripperCash

Far-L · 01-26-2012, 01:28 AM

If the chemistry thing doesn't work out then you can safely say that the student has a future as a humorist if he doesn't become a chemist.

jimmy-3-way · 01-26-2012, 01:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onwebcam

The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term...

This would be a thermodynamics midterm at the U of A and not chemistry, and thus not taken by chemistry students but by engineering students and having been to the home of the Wildcats, I'm highly dubious that there are any female engineering students at all.

charliebitme · 01-26-2012, 02:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onwebcam

...
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

hahaha, awesome :D

pornmasta · 01-26-2012, 02:51 AM

non sense for me, also it is not chemistry but thermodynamics

Fletch XXX · 01-26-2012, 06:26 AM

as they say, nothing fails like a prayer, science will prove religion bullshit every single time.

John-ACWM · 01-26-2012, 07:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StripperCash

Phoenix · 01-26-2012, 07:28 AM

nice one

u-Bob · 01-26-2012, 07:38 AM

old but funny

ottopottomouse · 01-26-2012, 08:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by porno jew

can't wait to see what grandma forwards you tomorrow.

tomorrow is a load of stuff about why life was better in the 1950s.

01-25-2012, 09:33 PM	#1
onwebcam Fake Nick 1.0 Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Rent free, your head Posts: 27,659	Hell explained by a chemistry student The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student. The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well : Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely.. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.' THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+. __________________ PLEASE WAIT WHILE BIDEN ADMIN UNINSTALLS ITSELF..... ██████████████████▒ 99.5% complete.

01-25-2012, 09:55 PM	#3
WarChild Let slip the dogs of war. Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Bermuda Posts: 17,263	Of course it's not what it claims to be. Only a Paultard would believe otherwise. http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp __________________ .

01-25-2012, 10:04 PM	#5
keysync Living the Dream Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Murica Posts: 2,376	yeah funny nerd humor __________________

01-25-2012, 10:04 PM	#6
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01-25-2012, 09:37 PM	#2
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01-25-2012, 10:07 PM	#7
porno jew Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 10,166	can't wait to see what grandma forwards you tomorrow.

01-26-2012, 12:22 AM	#12
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01-26-2012, 01:28 AM	#14
Far-L Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Seattle Posts: 6,065	If the chemistry thing doesn't work out then you can safely say that the student has a future as a humorist if he doesn't become a chemist. __________________ HomegrownCash.com, the affiliate program of Homegrown Video - The Largest Collection of Amateur XXX - Est. 1982. Contact - Email: farrell AT homegrownvideo D com Skype: hgfarl Newsweek Magazine - "Homegrown Video, the longest running series in the history of porn."

01-26-2012, 02:51 AM	#17
pornmasta Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 19,121	non sense for me, also it is not chemistry but thermodynamics Last edited by pornmasta; 01-26-2012 at 02:52 AM..

01-26-2012, 06:26 AM	#18
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01-26-2012, 07:28 AM	#20
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01-26-2012, 07:38 AM	#21
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