War Machine Dude who beat up Christy Mack) Finds Christ In Jail - GoFuckYourself.com

Buff · 01-10-2015, 03:00 PM

Praise Jesus!

Jon Koppenhaver -- better known as War Machine -- is currently doing time in a Las Vegas, Nevada jail for nearly beating his ex-girlfriend, Christy Mack, to death inside of her home on Aug. 8, 2014 after a surprise marriage proposal went terribly wrong.

Gigantic wall of shitty text inbound:

Where to begin? It's sad to say that I am 1000 times more embarrassed of what I'm about to tell you, than I am of being accused of the crimes that have landed me in jail. It's a testament to how screwed up my way of thinking is, as well as to how screwed up our society has become. At first I blamed this whole situation on Christy and that guy. Then I blamed my bad luck. Then I blamed my bad karma. Then I blamed myself. Then I blamed steroids. Then I blamed the programming job done to my subconscious mind... A product of a traumatic childhood and a poor choice of role models. One of them has to be the culprit, there must be some reason that, though I always have the best of intentions, I keep landing myself in huge messes. And why am I so restless, why am I never satisfied? I've achieved countless goals: I'm a professional athlete, I own my own business, I once had the perfect little wife, then I had Christy - my life, though enviable on all accounts - never satisfied me no matter how well it is going; I find a reason to be unhappy, a reason to sabotage it. A few blogs ago I wrote about the letter from my grandfather; his letter, and my response to it, broke my heart all over again. I began that blog with a quote of my own: "The good times only count while things are well; once things turn bad they only serve as specters - which torment you in the night." I think that must be the most horrible thing that any man has ever said. In both my blog and my letter back to my grandpa I compared my situation; losing the woman whom I loved when I found her in bed with another man, to my grandpa losing my grandmother to cancer after decades of happy marriage - saying that i'm better off - less good memories to be haunted by. I said that there are no good endings, all things end poorly. In the letter to my grandpa I said that our only hope is in the possibility of "heaven". That while only a fool could honestly believe in religion or God, there may still be an afterlife. For days after that I was depressed beyond words, I mean if all things end horribly and memories are only there to add to the pain - why live at all? What type of life can you live while always believing that for every good time you experience the memory of it will be back to torment you countless times? I now refuse to believe that. The day after I received my grandpa's letter I received a book titled "The Case For a Creator", I'm not sure who sent it, normally I get a receipt, but not this time. I set it aside uninterested. "Coincidentally", while chatting with my neighbor in the air vent that night, he asked me if I was religious. I proceeded to tell him about how all of that is garbage; I brought up the ancient holiday of Ishtar, the Nag Hammadi, scrolls, the Council of Nicaea, etc. 2 days later I found myself bored to death and out of "good" books and for the first time I picked up the book about the "Creator." On the back cover I learned that it was all about science (my favorite subject): Darwinism, DNA, subatomic particles, consciousness, etc. Now that I realized it was more about intelligent design and a nameless God, I started to read it. I finished it in 24 hours. It was great, full of facts that are impossible to argue against. The night I finish that I received a letter from a girl who writes me several times per month - always about God. This time though, her opening quote was awesome and I grabbed that book to let her know the authors name, Lee Strobel (I figured she'd like it), and in doing so I saw that he also wrote a book "The Case For Christ". I like the style of his first book and the hard facts that he used, and I wondered what that book would say, how would it grapple with all the stuff I had come to believe about Christianity. I've never had a problem with the idea of a God, I've only had a problem with organized religion. I made a note to get the book. The same night I told my neighbor about the "Case For a Creator" book, "you mean 'The Case For Christ'?" "Nah man, creator." "Who wrote it?" "Strobel." "Oh, cool, let me borrow it, I have the Christ one." What were the odds? After tearing into his beliefs about Jesus days earlier, it was awkward to tell him to let me read it, but I did. I finished it in 2 days. I have to admit that I believe that it requires more "faith" to believe that Jesus wasn't what they claim he was, than to believe that he was. I'm embarrassed to only have believed him now, when my life is in such turmoil, I feel that it makes me "weak", that I am abandoning "reason" only in desperation, but that's not what it is. Besides the overwhelming evidence in the books, there are all the "coincidences" in the days surrounding this, as well as my life's history. Why, when I am truly a good, loving, person and honestly try to keep my nose clean, do things keep coming out from left field and blindsiding me? Could it not be God saying, "Wake up dummy! I'm not gonna let you live this 'war machine' ego up and allow you to be happy until you learn to love me, the one who made you!" If I were following Jesus would any of my trouble have ever happened? If I didn't first break Christy's heart through my own selfishness, would she have done what she did? Before her, would I have grown restless with my perfect wife, if I wasn't living for ME, and instead living for Jesus? A few blogs back I wrote about Genghis Kahn and asked -WWGD - I've asked that too much in life. If I had asked WWJD I'd be happy and free...

Horatio Caine · 01-10-2015, 03:01 PM

Don't they all find God in jail?

TheSquealer · 01-10-2015, 04:08 PM

So, if i was hoping to convince the parole board that I was a good case for early release,.... i'd start convincing people i've changed right from the start... that i've had a transformation moment and i'd be able to describe it in detail and i'd let it be known every single day, from day 1 that ive used every minute of my time following that moment to not only reflect on the wrongs i've committed, but that i'm remorseful and ashamed of "who I was" and that my life is about positive change, becoming a better person and helping others. When asked about my past, i'd solemnly and eloquently explain that person does not exist anymore and that he has been reborn into something so pure and good that he is not only beyond reproach, but that he is also content to stay in prison to continue doing the "Lords work" by sacrificing my life to "help others become better people"

Oh...

wait,...

He is a sick person and he is doing exactly that...

nico-t · 01-10-2015, 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Horatio Caine

Don't they all find God in jail?

I wonder what God did that got him in jail

MiamiBoyz · 01-10-2015, 04:47 PM

Hey found Jesus in jail and got on his knees in front of him to suck his dick!

Of course, Jesus is a big Mexican in for murder so he thought it was a good idea.

Praise Jesus

SilentKnight · 01-10-2015, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nico-t

I wonder what God did that got him in jail

Allowed religion to flourish.

Kelli58 · 01-10-2015, 06:46 PM

So after failing to kill himself he now claims to find God and yet still manages to blame his victim saying she did what she did, as if it was still her fault he beat her half to death.

What a douche bag.

candyflip · 01-10-2015, 06:48 PM

My girl works in a jail.

Everyone finds god when you're bored out of your fucking mind. You get out of your cell for an extra few hours a week for services.

MaDalton · 01-10-2015, 06:48 PM

Sounds like his cell is next to Donnys

CaptainHowdy · 01-11-2015, 06:48 AM

= Avoid rape.

Grapesoda · 01-11-2015, 06:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buff

Praise Jesus!

Jon Koppenhaver -- better known as War Machine -- is currently doing time in a Las Vegas, Nevada jail for nearly beating his ex-girlfriend, Christy Mack, to death inside of her home on Aug. 8, 2014 after a surprise marriage proposal went terribly wrong.

Gigantic wall of shitty text inbound:

Where to begin? It's sad to say that I am 1000 times more embarrassed of what I'm about to tell you, than I am of being accused of the crimes that have landed me in jail. It's a testament to how screwed up my way of thinking is, as well as to how screwed up our society has become. At first I blamed this whole situation on Christy and that guy. Then I blamed my bad luck. Then I blamed my bad karma. Then I blamed myself. Then I blamed steroids. Then I blamed the programming job done to my subconscious mind... A product of a traumatic childhood and a poor choice of role models. One of them has to be the culprit, there must be some reason that, though I always have the best of intentions, I keep landing myself in huge messes. And why am I so restless, why am I never satisfied? I've achieved countless goals: I'm a professional athlete, I own my own business, I once had the perfect little wife, then I had Christy - my life, though enviable on all accounts - never satisfied me no matter how well it is going; I find a reason to be unhappy, a reason to sabotage it. A few blogs ago I wrote about the letter from my grandfather; his letter, and my response to it, broke my heart all over again. I began that blog with a quote of my own: "The good times only count while things are well; once things turn bad they only serve as specters - which torment you in the night." I think that must be the most horrible thing that any man has ever said. In both my blog and my letter back to my grandpa I compared my situation; losing the woman whom I loved when I found her in bed with another man, to my grandpa losing my grandmother to cancer after decades of happy marriage - saying that i'm better off - less good memories to be haunted by. I said that there are no good endings, all things end poorly. In the letter to my grandpa I said that our only hope is in the possibility of "heaven". That while only a fool could honestly believe in religion or God, there may still be an afterlife. For days after that I was depressed beyond words, I mean if all things end horribly and memories are only there to add to the pain - why live at all? What type of life can you live while always believing that for every good time you experience the memory of it will be back to torment you countless times? I now refuse to believe that. The day after I received my grandpa's letter I received a book titled "The Case For a Creator", I'm not sure who sent it, normally I get a receipt, but not this time. I set it aside uninterested. "Coincidentally", while chatting with my neighbor in the air vent that night, he asked me if I was religious. I proceeded to tell him about how all of that is garbage; I brought up the ancient holiday of Ishtar, the Nag Hammadi, scrolls, the Council of Nicaea, etc. 2 days later I found myself bored to death and out of "good" books and for the first time I picked up the book about the "Creator." On the back cover I learned that it was all about science (my favorite subject): Darwinism, DNA, subatomic particles, consciousness, etc. Now that I realized it was more about intelligent design and a nameless God, I started to read it. I finished it in 24 hours. It was great, full of facts that are impossible to argue against. The night I finish that I received a letter from a girl who writes me several times per month - always about God. This time though, her opening quote was awesome and I grabbed that book to let her know the authors name, Lee Strobel (I figured she'd like it), and in doing so I saw that he also wrote a book "The Case For Christ". I like the style of his first book and the hard facts that he used, and I wondered what that book would say, how would it grapple with all the stuff I had come to believe about Christianity. I've never had a problem with the idea of a God, I've only had a problem with organized religion. I made a note to get the book. The same night I told my neighbor about the "Case For a Creator" book, "you mean 'The Case For Christ'?" "Nah man, creator." "Who wrote it?" "Strobel." "Oh, cool, let me borrow it, I have the Christ one." What were the odds? After tearing into his beliefs about Jesus days earlier, it was awkward to tell him to let me read it, but I did. I finished it in 2 days. I have to admit that I believe that it requires more "faith" to believe that Jesus wasn't what they claim he was, than to believe that he was. I'm embarrassed to only have believed him now, when my life is in such turmoil, I feel that it makes me "weak", that I am abandoning "reason" only in desperation, but that's not what it is. Besides the overwhelming evidence in the books, there are all the "coincidences" in the days surrounding this, as well as my life's history. Why, when I am truly a good, loving, person and honestly try to keep my nose clean, do things keep coming out from left field and blindsiding me? Could it not be God saying, "Wake up dummy! I'm not gonna let you live this 'war machine' ego up and allow you to be happy until you learn to love me, the one who made you!" If I were following Jesus would any of my trouble have ever happened? If I didn't first break Christy's heart through my own selfishness, would she have done what she did? Before her, would I have grown restless with my perfect wife, if I wasn't living for ME, and instead living for Jesus? A few blogs back I wrote about Genghis Kahn and asked -WWGD - I've asked that too much in life. If I had asked WWJD I'd be happy and free...

that's why most peeps can't find jebus... he's down at the copshop

Captain Kawaii · 01-11-2015, 07:06 AM

May someone pull his tongue out through his asshole.

Slappin Fish · 01-11-2015, 07:11 AM

"...why when I am truly a good, loving, person and honestly try to keep my nose clean, do things keep coming out from left field and blindsiding me? Could it not be God saying, "Wake up dummy! I'm not gonna let you live this 'war machine' ego up..."

Yep...

Because thinking God made you beat a woman's face to a pulp to teach YOU a lesson...

that's not ME ME ME narcissistic thinking at all

anexsia · 01-11-2015, 07:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Horatio Caine

Don't they all find God in jail?

I didn't find God in jail, but I did play poker all day long.

topnotch, standup guy · 01-11-2015, 07:33 AM

In a perfect world the judge would double the sentence imposed on anyone who plays that tired old card.

Jman · 01-11-2015, 07:35 AM

God's the BEST excuse when you fuck up big time and do a dirty crime.

And he will be welcomed amongst the sheep like the beautiful man he is.... GFY TABARNAK!!!

L-Pink · 01-11-2015, 09:24 AM

God isn't going to let anyone into heaven that doesn't know what a fucking paragraph is.

"Thou shalt incorporate a subdivision of a written composition that consists of one or more sentences"

.

JFK · 01-11-2015, 09:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Horatio Caine

Don't they all find God in jail?

God must be a habitual criminal, he's found in all these jails, all over the world

Buff · 01-11-2015, 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L-Pink

God isn't going to let anyone into heaven that doesn't know what a fucking paragraph is.

"Thou shalt incorporate a subdivision of a written composition that consists of one or more sentences"

.

That was one of the original 15 Commandments.

GAMEFINEST · 01-11-2015, 03:36 PM

he has issues even god cant fixed.

01-10-2015, 03:00 PM	#1
Buff GFY Assassin Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 2,993	War Machine Dude who beat up Christy Mack) Finds Christ In Jail Praise Jesus! Jon Koppenhaver -- better known as War Machine -- is currently doing time in a Las Vegas, Nevada jail for nearly beating his ex-girlfriend, Christy Mack, to death inside of her home on Aug. 8, 2014 after a surprise marriage proposal went terribly wrong. Gigantic wall of shitty text inbound: Where to begin? It's sad to say that I am 1000 times more embarrassed of what I'm about to tell you, than I am of being accused of the crimes that have landed me in jail. It's a testament to how screwed up my way of thinking is, as well as to how screwed up our society has become. At first I blamed this whole situation on Christy and that guy. Then I blamed my bad luck. Then I blamed my bad karma. Then I blamed myself. Then I blamed steroids. Then I blamed the programming job done to my subconscious mind... A product of a traumatic childhood and a poor choice of role models. One of them has to be the culprit, there must be some reason that, though I always have the best of intentions, I keep landing myself in huge messes. And why am I so restless, why am I never satisfied? I've achieved countless goals: I'm a professional athlete, I own my own business, I once had the perfect little wife, then I had Christy - my life, though enviable on all accounts - never satisfied me no matter how well it is going; I find a reason to be unhappy, a reason to sabotage it. A few blogs ago I wrote about the letter from my grandfather; his letter, and my response to it, broke my heart all over again. I began that blog with a quote of my own: "The good times only count while things are well; once things turn bad they only serve as specters - which torment you in the night." I think that must be the most horrible thing that any man has ever said. In both my blog and my letter back to my grandpa I compared my situation; losing the woman whom I loved when I found her in bed with another man, to my grandpa losing my grandmother to cancer after decades of happy marriage - saying that i'm better off - less good memories to be haunted by. I said that there are no good endings, all things end poorly. In the letter to my grandpa I said that our only hope is in the possibility of "heaven". That while only a fool could honestly believe in religion or God, there may still be an afterlife. For days after that I was depressed beyond words, I mean if all things end horribly and memories are only there to add to the pain - why live at all? What type of life can you live while always believing that for every good time you experience the memory of it will be back to torment you countless times? I now refuse to believe that. The day after I received my grandpa's letter I received a book titled "The Case For a Creator", I'm not sure who sent it, normally I get a receipt, but not this time. I set it aside uninterested. "Coincidentally", while chatting with my neighbor in the air vent that night, he asked me if I was religious. I proceeded to tell him about how all of that is garbage; I brought up the ancient holiday of Ishtar, the Nag Hammadi, scrolls, the Council of Nicaea, etc. 2 days later I found myself bored to death and out of "good" books and for the first time I picked up the book about the "Creator." On the back cover I learned that it was all about science (my favorite subject): Darwinism, DNA, subatomic particles, consciousness, etc. Now that I realized it was more about intelligent design and a nameless God, I started to read it. I finished it in 24 hours. It was great, full of facts that are impossible to argue against. The night I finish that I received a letter from a girl who writes me several times per month - always about God. This time though, her opening quote was awesome and I grabbed that book to let her know the authors name, Lee Strobel (I figured she'd like it), and in doing so I saw that he also wrote a book "The Case For Christ". I like the style of his first book and the hard facts that he used, and I wondered what that book would say, how would it grapple with all the stuff I had come to believe about Christianity. I've never had a problem with the idea of a God, I've only had a problem with organized religion. I made a note to get the book. The same night I told my neighbor about the "Case For a Creator" book, "you mean 'The Case For Christ'?" "Nah man, creator." "Who wrote it?" "Strobel." "Oh, cool, let me borrow it, I have the Christ one." What were the odds? After tearing into his beliefs about Jesus days earlier, it was awkward to tell him to let me read it, but I did. I finished it in 2 days. I have to admit that I believe that it requires more "faith" to believe that Jesus wasn't what they claim he was, than to believe that he was. I'm embarrassed to only have believed him now, when my life is in such turmoil, I feel that it makes me "weak", that I am abandoning "reason" only in desperation, but that's not what it is. Besides the overwhelming evidence in the books, there are all the "coincidences" in the days surrounding this, as well as my life's history. Why, when I am truly a good, loving, person and honestly try to keep my nose clean, do things keep coming out from left field and blindsiding me? Could it not be God saying, "Wake up dummy! I'm not gonna let you live this 'war machine' ego up and allow you to be happy until you learn to love me, the one who made you!" If I were following Jesus would any of my trouble have ever happened? If I didn't first break Christy's heart through my own selfishness, would she have done what she did? Before her, would I have grown restless with my perfect wife, if I wasn't living for ME, and instead living for Jesus? A few blogs back I wrote about Genghis Kahn and asked -WWGD - I've asked that too much in life. If I had asked WWJD I'd be happy and free...

01-10-2015, 04:08 PM	#3
TheSquealer BANNED Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: In Your Head Posts: 25,120	So, if i was hoping to convince the parole board that I was a good case for early release,.... i'd start convincing people i've changed right from the start... that i've had a transformation moment and i'd be able to describe it in detail and i'd let it be known every single day, from day 1 that ive used every minute of my time following that moment to not only reflect on the wrongs i've committed, but that i'm remorseful and ashamed of "who I was" and that my life is about positive change, becoming a better person and helping others. When asked about my past, i'd solemnly and eloquently explain that person does not exist anymore and that he has been reborn into something so pure and good that he is not only beyond reproach, but that he is also content to stay in prison to continue doing the "Lords work" by sacrificing my life to "help others become better people" Oh... wait,... He is a sick person and he is doing exactly that... __________________ . Yes, fewer illegal immigrants working equates to more job opportunities for American citizens. Rochard

01-10-2015, 06:46 PM	#7
Kelli58 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Texas Posts: 2,089	So after failing to kill himself he now claims to find God and yet still manages to blame his victim saying she did what she did, as if it was still her fault he beat her half to death. What a douche bag. __________________ Kandy AI 🍭🍬 Take a bite out of censorship 🍭🍬 We believe in empowering adults to use AI as they see fit. 👉 Get AI to write your scene descriptions for you 👈

01-10-2015, 06:48 PM	#8
candyflip Carpe Visio Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: New York Posts: 43,057	My girl works in a jail. Everyone finds god when you're bored out of your fucking mind. You get out of your cell for an extra few hours a week for services. __________________ Spend you some brain. Email Me

01-10-2015, 06:48 PM	#9
MaDalton I am Amazing Content! Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 39,822	Sounds like his cell is next to Donnys __________________ AmazingContent.com - providing only the best content and service since 2003 Monetize your content on Veegaz.com - one of Germanies largest VOD sites Got German traffic? We convert it into money for you! Skype: madalton02826 - Email: oltecconsult [at] gmail [dot] com

01-10-2015, 03:01 PM	#2
Horatio Caine full-time aspiring rapper Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Compton, CA Posts: 5,746	Don't they all find God in jail?

01-10-2015, 04:47 PM	#5
MiamiBoyz fgfdftre6 Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: In the closet with your dad! Posts: 6,690	Hey found Jesus in jail and got on his knees in front of him to suck his dick! Of course, Jesus is a big Mexican in for murder so he thought it was a good idea. Praise Jesus

01-11-2015, 06:48 AM	#10
CaptainHowdy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Happy in the dark. Posts: 93,182	= Avoid rape. __________________ FLASH SALE INSANITY! deal with a 100% Trusted Seller Buy Traffic Spots on a High-Quality Network 1 Year or Lifetime — That’s Right, Until the Internet Explodes!

01-11-2015, 07:06 AM	#12
Captain Kawaii So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 6,748	May someone pull his tongue out through his asshole.

01-11-2015, 07:11 AM	#13
Slappin Fish Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Thailand Posts: 2,512	"...why when I am truly a good, loving, person and honestly try to keep my nose clean, do things keep coming out from left field and blindsiding me? Could it not be God saying, "Wake up dummy! I'm not gonna let you live this 'war machine' ego up..." Yep... Because thinking God made you beat a woman's face to a pulp to teach YOU a lesson... that's not ME ME ME narcissistic thinking at all

01-11-2015, 07:33 AM	#15
topnotch, standup guy Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Here and there. Posts: 1,562	In a perfect world the judge would double the sentence imposed on anyone who plays that tired old card. __________________ A hard dick has no conscience.

01-11-2015, 07:35 AM	#16
Jman Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Canuckstikan Posts: 22,702	God's the BEST excuse when you fuck up big time and do a dirty crime. And he will be welcomed amongst the sheep like the beautiful man he is.... GFY TABARNAK!!! __________________ Wowify AI API Porn.AI Affiliates Porn AI email: [email protected] Teams: jean.francois.laverdiere TG: @jman1216

01-11-2015, 09:24 AM	#17
L-Pink working on my tan Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Florida/Kentucky Posts: 39,151	God isn't going to let anyone into heaven that doesn't know what a fucking paragraph is. "Thou shalt incorporate a subdivision of a written composition that consists of one or more sentences" .

01-11-2015, 03:36 PM	#20
GAMEFINEST Make STACK$ Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: sexy time Posts: 14,422	he has issues even god cant fixed. __________________ Compound interest.