blakkfrogg

"In retrospect, I admit it was unwise to try to gain
access to my
house via the cat flap," Gunther Burpus admitted to
reporters in
Bremen, Germany. "I suppose that the reason they're
called cat
flaps, rather than human flaps, is because they're too
small for
people, and perhaps I should have realized that."

Burpus, a forty-one year old gardener from Bremen, was
relating
how he had become trapped in his own front door for
two days,
after losing his house keys. "I got my head and
shoulders through
the flap, but became trapped fast around the waist. At
first, it
all seemed rather amusing. I sang songs and told
myself jokes.
But then I wanted to go to the lavatory. I began
shouting for
help, but my head was in the hallway so my screams
were muffled.

"After a few hours, a group of students approached me
but,
instead of helping, they removed my trousers and
pants, painted
my buttocks bright blue, and stuck a daffodil between
my cheeks.
Then they placed a sign next to me which said 'Germany
resurgent,
an essay in street art. Please give generously' and
left me
there.

"People were passing by and, when I asked for help,
they just
said 'very good! Very clever!' and threw coins into my
trousers.
No one tried to free me. In fact, I only got free
after two days
because a dog started licking my private parts and an
old woman
complained to the police. They came and cut me out,
but arrested
me as soon as I was freed. Luckily they've now dropped
the
charges, and I collected over DM300 in my underpants,
so the time
wasn't entirely wasted."

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Web_Mistress

that is too funny!

Ever heard of a book called news of the weird? It has a whole bunch of stories like that, I love this stuff!

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~Every time I call myself Webmistress, I feel I should be in spike heels with a whip~

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