What I Learned From Porn

[blakkfrogg]

> 1. Women wear high heels to bed.
>
> 2. Men are never impotent.
>
> 3. When going down on a woman, 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
>
> 4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not
> scream
> with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
>
> 5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
>
> 6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
>
> 7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
>
> 8. Women always orgasm when men do.
>
> 9. A blowjob will always get a women off a speeding ticket.
>
> 10. All women are noisy fucks.
>
> 11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo
> in
> the background.
>
> 12. Those tits are real.
>
> 13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his
> half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
>
> 14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
>
> 15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other.(and the girl
> isn't
> disgusted!)
>
> 16. Double penetration makes women smile.
>
> 17. Asian men don't exist.
>
> 18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend
> having sex in the bushes,the
> boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you
> if you shove your cock
> in his girlfriend's mouth.
>
> 19. There's a plot.
>
> 20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can
> really excite a woman by
> giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
>
> 21. Nurses suck patients cocks.
>
> 22. Men always pull out.
>
> 23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from
> her best friend, she'll
> only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the
> both of you.
>
> 24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
>
> 25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's
> important for him to remind
> her to "suck it".
>
> 26. Assholes are clean.
>
> 27. A man ejaculating on a womans butt is a
> satisfying result for all parties
> concerned.
>
> 28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they
> open a man's trousers and find a cock there.
>
> 29. Men don't have to beg.
>
> 30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will
> always place one hand firmly
> on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the
> other proudly on his hip.


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Something New... http://www.americas-best.com/adult

[ldinternet]

> 17. Asian men don't exist.

Hah hah, true dat. In fact, have you seen those (male) Japanese porn stars? They're like some kind of rabbit/greyhound hybrid. They're skinny as fuck and have a 3 inch dick... but they go like turbo. InOutinoutinoutinoutinoutinoutinoutinout. Having to hump all those Japanese women too... lucky bastards. In fact, I'm visiting in 14 months time. Can't wait.

[Shooter]

Haha, that's the funniest thing I've seen in a while :-)

[Babagirls]

11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.


LMAO!!! That is so very true!

And I also liked the "2 men high five each other and the woman isnt disgusted!"...reminds me of this porno I have of 5 guys and one girl and they guys are making some rude comments and standing above her head and squating down to hit her head with their dicks over and over again..mad me PISSED! Grrr LOL

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"We are all porn stars , just some of us are brave enough to do it on film!"
Jamie's Stable

[Corpsie]

How come people only forward stupid jokes to me?

This is good stuff (and i haven't seen it 17 times before)

[Kat - Fast]

no.28 LMAO!!
"oo! how did that get there?"

[Shocker]

Don't forget this important one:

31) Men don't wear underwear.

[Lord Assmore]

32) Men always leave their socks on while fucking.

[Gemini]

33) Men **ALWAYS** satisfy EVERY woman they screw which is usually 20 a day since they are all super studs...

34) While having sex, the participants may sometimes enter a sort of time/space anomoly which causes their voices to be out of sync with their physical body.

35) Ron Jeremy is not ugly.

[monro]