I got Beat up and Ripped off by a Hooker Today... - GoFuckYourself.com

Anal Hobbit · 02-11-2009, 06:39 PM

True story.

I was with a hooker today. She wanted to start with a massage. I was nude and she put some hotel lotion on my back. I was face down.

Then I feel this BANG on my head and I black out.

I woke up and I had some blood and a huge lump on the back of my head. She hit me with something.

Took my wallet, my keys...

I ended up in the hospital. Told the police the truth. Now they are sending a car to my home to see if she used the keys to get in.

I bet she already robbed my home.

Fucking N1ggers.

Anal Hobbit · 02-11-2009, 06:40 PM

She was half Asian and half black.
She didnt look as good as her craiglist ad. In fact it wasnt even her in the pic.

It was a pure asian in the pic.

I thought something was a bit shady about her.

The doctors here say I have a concussion.

Khulan · 02-11-2009, 06:41 PM

Sorry to hear that. Hopefully, police will arrest her soon

tabasco · 02-11-2009, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anal Hobbit

She hit me with something.

Her cock?

Anal Hobbit · 02-11-2009, 06:42 PM

Im going to be in the hospital overnight.
Im glad my family brought me my laptop from their place. It may be the only thing I have left

Joe BrainCash · 02-11-2009, 06:43 PM

Was rough sex part of your initial request to the hooker? Maybe she just gave one hell of a good service y'know?

Anal Hobbit · 02-11-2009, 06:43 PM

I bet it was her boyfriend who did it.
Scarry shit really. They could have killed me.

Anal Hobbit · 02-11-2009, 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrainPat

Was rough sex part of your initial request to the hooker? Maybe she just gave one hell of a good service y'know?

I was just going for a massage.

Anal Hobbit · 02-11-2009, 06:44 PM

Im making a new rule. No more black hookers.

YellowDude · 02-11-2009, 06:46 PM

LMAO - Men you are really a HOBBIT - Hahahahaha

Lamis · 02-11-2009, 06:53 PM

lol dude...

only losers hire hookers or pay for sex...

Ethersync · 02-11-2009, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lamis

lol dude...

only losers hire hookers or pay for sex...

but he hired a hooker to rub his back...

marketsmart · 02-11-2009, 06:55 PM

i had to shoot a hooker last year. she agreed to $300 over the phone, but when she got there she said i need her to tip another $500 for full service. i said fuck that and shot her. i made sure i only wounded her so i could still fuck her.

anyway, i'm banging her out while she's yelling "omg, i'm shot, i'm shot". i can barely stay hard because i laughing so much. then the phone rings and its her pimp wanting to know where the money is. i guess she was going to try to cash and dash on me. the girls unconcious now due to the blood loss or shock i guess so i tell her pimp that shes in the bathroom and invite him up for a drink.

as soon as he walks in the door, bam, i shoot his ass too. i shot him in the head because i didnt really have any desire to have sex with him so i figured i should just get it over with. now the front desk is calling me asking me about the noise coming from my room and i tell them its just the tv turned up to loud. at this point the hooker is starting to come to so i cant use the gun anymore cause its too loud so i grab the charger cord to my cell phone and choke her to death. at this point i'm really pissed because there's blood everywhere and i'm going to have to clean this up.

i could go on and on but it just gets boring after this, but in the end i cleaned everything up, got the bodies out of there and that was that..

so, never trust a hooker is my advice...

PurrrsianPussyKat · 02-11-2009, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tabasco

Her cock?

omg..

Pseudonymous · 02-11-2009, 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lamis

lol dude...

only losers hire hookers or pay for sex...

I wouldn't neccessarily say that's true. lol

Slappin Fish · 02-11-2009, 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lamis

lol dude...

only losers hire hookers or pay for sex...

Errr...your sure you are in the right forum?

Darkland · 02-11-2009, 07:00 PM

Sounds like Karma in action to me... Aren't you the one who was giving tutorials on how to rip hookers off? Things that make you go hmmmm.

Slappin Fish · 02-11-2009, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tabasco

Her cock?

Spunky · 02-11-2009, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anal Hobbit

I bet it was her boyfriend who did it.
Scarry shit really. They could have killed me.

Do you have a sore potatoe patch?

sicone · 02-11-2009, 07:03 PM

so I take it your sealed envelope on the dresser trick didn't work this time?

hankphone · 02-11-2009, 07:05 PM

too bad she didn't slit your throat while she was at it.

JamesK · 02-11-2009, 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marketsmart

i had to shoot a hooker last year. she agreed to $300 over the phone, but when she got there she said i need her to tip another $500 for full service. i said fuck that and shot her. i made sure i only wounded her so i could still fuck her.

anyway, i'm banging her out while she's yelling "omg, i'm shot, i'm shot". i can barely stay hard because i laughing so much. then the phone rings and its her pimp wanting to know where the money is. i guess she was going to try to cash and dash on me. the girls unconcious now due to the blood loss or shock i guess so i tell her pimp that shes in the bathroom and invite him up for a drink.

as soon as he walks in the door, bam, i shoot his ass too. i shot him in the head because i didnt really have any desire to have sex with him so i figured i should just get it over with. now the front desk is calling me asking me about the noise coming from my room and i tell them its just the tv turned up to loud. at this point the hooker is starting to come to so i cant use the gun anymore cause its too loud so i grab the charger cord to my cell phone and choke her to death. at this point i'm really pissed because there's blood everywhere and i'm going to have to clean this up.

i could go on and on but it just gets boring after this, but in the end i cleaned everything up, got the bodies out of there and that was that..

so, never trust a hooker is my advice...

TurboAngel · 02-11-2009, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darkland

Sounds like Karma in action to me... Aren't you the one who was giving tutorials on how to rip hookers off? Things that make you go hmmmm.

I was just thinking the same thing.

PS. I hope your head is ok.

Jon Clark - BANNED FOR LIFE · 02-11-2009, 07:20 PM

lmao....

Ethersync · 02-11-2009, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darkland

Sounds like Karma in action to me... Aren't you the one who was giving tutorials on how to rip hookers off? Things that make you go hmmmm.

Bro Media - BANNED FOR LIFE · 02-11-2009, 09:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marketsmart

i had to shoot a hooker last year. she agreed to $300 over the phone, but when she got there she said i need her to tip another $500 for full service. i said fuck that and shot her. i made sure i only wounded her so i could still fuck her.

anyway, i'm banging her out while she's yelling "omg, i'm shot, i'm shot". i can barely stay hard because i laughing so much. then the phone rings and its her pimp wanting to know where the money is. i guess she was going to try to cash and dash on me. the girls unconcious now due to the blood loss or shock i guess so i tell her pimp that shes in the bathroom and invite him up for a drink.

as soon as he walks in the door, bam, i shoot his ass too. i shot him in the head because i didnt really have any desire to have sex with him so i figured i should just get it over with. now the front desk is calling me asking me about the noise coming from my room and i tell them its just the tv turned up to loud. at this point the hooker is starting to come to so i cant use the gun anymore cause its too loud so i grab the charger cord to my cell phone and choke her to death. at this point i'm really pissed because there's blood everywhere and i'm going to have to clean this up.

i could go on and on but it just gets boring after this, but in the end i cleaned everything up, got the bodies out of there and that was that..

so, never trust a hooker is my advice...

NickB. · 02-11-2009, 09:34 PM

wtf man - if youre in a hotel Put iD AND WALLET IN

Especially with HOE -<<<<<<>>>>>>>-

GAMEFINEST · 02-11-2009, 09:34 PM

sad shit if its true, lesson learned,

seeandsee · 02-11-2009, 09:43 PM

jesus god!

Lester Burnham · 02-11-2009, 09:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anal Hobbit

I bet it was her boyfriend who did it.
Scarry shit really. They could have killed me.

Hmm..you allowed her "boyfriend" to come into the room with you LMAO? You deserve a beat down for stupidity if that's the case.

I'm calling BS on this with the story so far. It ain't like the movies where you get hit in the head once and you instantly blackout and wake up hours later. Someone hits you hard enough in the back of the head to knock you out, you got more than a concussion (more likely a cracked skull).

BSleazy · 02-11-2009, 09:52 PM

I still can't figure out who you really are.

Bro Media - BANNED FOR LIFE · 02-11-2009, 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lester Burnham

I'm calling BS on this with the story so far.

You don't know Anal Hobbit very well do you?

MindWaste · 02-11-2009, 10:23 PM

i thought annal hobbit was boneprone

Iron Fist · 02-11-2009, 10:26 PM

Entertaining story... too bad it wasn't true.

bDok · 02-11-2009, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anal Hobbit

She was half Asian and half black.
She didnt look as good as her craiglist ad. In fact it wasnt even her in the pic.

it's too bad the fishing off craigslist has gotten this bad. It used to be so clean and nice. Hopefully it's just the city your in.

hobbit needs to tighten up his game.

rookie mistake by a professional.

mikesouth · 02-11-2009, 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lamis

lol dude...

only losers hire hookers or pay for sex...

you never got any you DIDN'T pay for, moron.

You pay for all of it one way or another.

MindWaste · 02-11-2009, 11:07 PM

best line i heard all day "I had to shoot a hooker last year".

I stopped reading after i heard that. lol..

ExLust · 02-11-2009, 11:47 PM

Hope you feel better.

Kard63 · 02-12-2009, 12:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lester Burnham

I'm calling BS on this with the story so far

American Beauty is a great movie.

Anal Hobbit is the funniest board character. You can't call BS on him.

Kard63 · 02-12-2009, 12:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anal Hobbit

True story.

I was with a hooker today. She wanted to start with a massage. I was nude and she put some hotel lotion on my back. I was face down.

Then I feel this BANG on my head and I black out.

I woke up and I had some blood and a huge lump on the back of my head. She hit me with something.

Took my wallet, my keys...

I ended up in the hospital. Told the police the truth. Now they are sending a car to my home to see if she used the keys to get in.

I bet she already robbed my home.

Fucking N1ggers.

You need to quit being a pussy and go back to giving alcohol to 19 year olds on myspace

burntfilm · 02-12-2009, 12:15 AM

this type of story really happens to some cats, which is why you should always be broke and have to find free poon.

DWB · 02-12-2009, 01:19 AM

Link or pics?

I don't want to call this whore.

CaptainHowdy · 02-12-2009, 03:43 AM

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahaha!

dav3 · 02-12-2009, 03:53 AM

She had a dildo with a lead core in her purse. Hopefully there was no AIDS on it when she hit you with it.

pornocruto · 02-12-2009, 05:11 AM

Damn, that sucks big time.

zabijaq · 02-12-2009, 05:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tabasco

Her cock?

SHemale hooker robber

John-ACWM · 02-12-2009, 06:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tabasco

Her cock?

HorseShit · 02-12-2009, 06:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marketsmart

i had to shoot a hooker last year. she agreed to $300 over the phone, but when she got there she said i need her to tip another $500 for full service. i said fuck that and shot her. i made sure i only wounded her so i could still fuck her.

anyway, i'm banging her out while she's yelling "omg, i'm shot, i'm shot". i can barely stay hard because i laughing so much. then the phone rings and its her pimp wanting to know where the money is. i guess she was going to try to cash and dash on me. the girls unconcious now due to the blood loss or shock i guess so i tell her pimp that shes in the bathroom and invite him up for a drink.

as soon as he walks in the door, bam, i shoot his ass too. i shot him in the head because i didnt really have any desire to have sex with him so i figured i should just get it over with. now the front desk is calling me asking me about the noise coming from my room and i tell them its just the tv turned up to loud. at this point the hooker is starting to come to so i cant use the gun anymore cause its too loud so i grab the charger cord to my cell phone and choke her to death. at this point i'm really pissed because there's blood everywhere and i'm going to have to clean this up.

i could go on and on but it just gets boring after this, but in the end i cleaned everything up, got the bodies out of there and that was that..

so, never trust a hooker is my advice...

CarlosTheGaucho · 02-12-2009, 06:29 AM

A-n-D-r-E-S · 02-12-2009, 06:53 AM

Haha shit dude that really sucks!

02-11-2009, 06:39 PM	#1
Anal Hobbit So Fucking Banned Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Old Skool GFY Negro Posts: 2,308	I got Beat up and Ripped off by a Hooker Today... True story. I was with a hooker today. She wanted to start with a massage. I was nude and she put some hotel lotion on my back. I was face down. Then I feel this BANG on my head and I black out. I woke up and I had some blood and a huge lump on the back of my head. She hit me with something. Took my wallet, my keys... I ended up in the hospital. Told the police the truth. Now they are sending a car to my home to see if she used the keys to get in. I bet she already robbed my home. Fucking N1ggers.

02-11-2009, 06:41 PM	#3
Khulan Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Seattle Posts: 890	Sorry to hear that. Hopefully, police will arrest her soon __________________ TEEN CASH - CHECK OUT OUR EXCLUSIVE TEEN NICHE SITES Check out our Newest Site: Babysitter Movies - Free Hosted Galleries, Flash Galleries, Tube Content, & Great Support Sample Galleries: Movie Gallery 1 Flash Gallery 1 Gallery 1

02-11-2009, 06:43 PM	#6
Joe BrainCash Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Boy, life is difficult... Posts: 2,092	Was rough sex part of your initial request to the hooker? Maybe she just gave one hell of a good service y'know? __________________ [email protected] ICQ: 394.549.466

02-11-2009, 06:46 PM	#10
YellowDude Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Breda Posts: 1,031	LMAO - Men you are really a HOBBIT - Hahahahaha __________________ John Bols Productions Email: jaj.lambregts @ gmail.com

02-11-2009, 07:00 PM	#17
Darkland Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 1,488	Sounds like Karma in action to me... Aren't you the one who was giving tutorials on how to rip hookers off? Things that make you go hmmmm. __________________ "The towers are gone now, reduced to bloody rubble, along with all hopes for Peace in Our Time, in the United States or any other country. Make no mistake about it: We are At War now -- with somebody -- and we will stay At War with that mysterious Enemy for the rest of our lives." H.S.T. 09/12/01

02-11-2009, 06:40 PM	#2
Anal Hobbit So Fucking Banned Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Old Skool GFY Negro Posts: 2,308	She was half Asian and half black. She didnt look as good as her craiglist ad. In fact it wasnt even her in the pic. It was a pure asian in the pic. I thought something was a bit shady about her. The doctors here say I have a concussion.

02-11-2009, 06:42 PM	#5
Anal Hobbit So Fucking Banned Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Old Skool GFY Negro Posts: 2,308	Im going to be in the hospital overnight. Im glad my family brought me my laptop from their place. It may be the only thing I have left

02-11-2009, 06:44 PM	#9
Anal Hobbit So Fucking Banned Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Old Skool GFY Negro Posts: 2,308	Im making a new rule. No more black hookers.

02-11-2009, 06:53 PM	#11
Lamis So Fucking Banned Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 961	lol dude... only losers hire hookers or pay for sex...

02-11-2009, 06:55 PM	#13
marketsmart HOMICIDAL TROLL KILLER Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Sunnybrook Institution for the Criminally Insane Posts: 20,419	i had to shoot a hooker last year. she agreed to $300 over the phone, but when she got there she said i need her to tip another $500 for full service. i said fuck that and shot her. i made sure i only wounded her so i could still fuck her. anyway, i'm banging her out while she's yelling "omg, i'm shot, i'm shot". i can barely stay hard because i laughing so much. then the phone rings and its her pimp wanting to know where the money is. i guess she was going to try to cash and dash on me. the girls unconcious now due to the blood loss or shock i guess so i tell her pimp that shes in the bathroom and invite him up for a drink. as soon as he walks in the door, bam, i shoot his ass too. i shot him in the head because i didnt really have any desire to have sex with him so i figured i should just get it over with. now the front desk is calling me asking me about the noise coming from my room and i tell them its just the tv turned up to loud. at this point the hooker is starting to come to so i cant use the gun anymore cause its too loud so i grab the charger cord to my cell phone and choke her to death. at this point i'm really pissed because there's blood everywhere and i'm going to have to clean this up. i could go on and on but it just gets boring after this, but in the end i cleaned everything up, got the bodies out of there and that was that.. so, never trust a hooker is my advice...

02-11-2009, 07:03 PM	#20
sicone Retired Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Sac Posts: 18,453	so I take it your sealed envelope on the dresser trick didn't work this time? __________________

02-11-2009, 07:05 PM	#21
hankphone Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Billy Mitchell's Basement Posts: 540	too bad she didn't slit your throat while she was at it.

02-11-2009, 07:20 PM	#24
Jon Clark - BANNED FOR LIFE North Coast Pimp Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: 304-534-757 Posts: 9,395	lmao....

02-11-2009, 09:34 PM	#27
NickB. Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 8,855	wtf man - if youre in a hotel Put iD AND WALLET IN Especially with HOE -<<<<<<>>>>>>>-

02-11-2009, 09:34 PM	#28
GAMEFINEST Make STACK$ Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: sexy time Posts: 14,439	sad shit if its true, lesson learned, __________________ Compound interest.

02-11-2009, 09:43 PM	#29
seeandsee Check SIG! Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Europe (Skype: gojkoas) Posts: 50,945	jesus god! __________________ BUY MY SIG - 50$/Year Contact here

02-11-2009, 09:52 PM	#31
BSleazy Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: USA Posts: 6,721	I still can't figure out who you really are. __________________ icq 156131086

02-11-2009, 10:23 PM	#33
MindWaste Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Tac Town Posts: 3,662	i thought annal hobbit was boneprone __________________ Traviss Solomon ----- HOGDICE.COM HOGDICE.COM is a broken website if you have advice email me....

02-11-2009, 10:26 PM	#34
Iron Fist Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 23,400	Entertaining story... too bad it wasn't true. __________________ i like waffles

02-11-2009, 11:07 PM	#37
MindWaste Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Tac Town Posts: 3,662	best line i heard all day "I had to shoot a hooker last year". I stopped reading after i heard that. lol.. __________________ Traviss Solomon ----- HOGDICE.COM HOGDICE.COM is a broken website if you have advice email me....

02-11-2009, 11:47 PM	#38
ExLust Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 3,223	Hope you feel better. __________________ BE A PARTNER

02-12-2009, 12:15 AM	#41
burntfilm Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Brooklyn NY, Providence, RI Posts: 972	this type of story really happens to some cats, which is why you should always be broke and have to find free poon. __________________ Sorta...

02-12-2009, 01:19 AM	#42
DWB Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Encrypted. Access denied. Posts: 31,779	Link or pics? I don't want to call this whore.

02-12-2009, 03:43 AM	#43
CaptainHowdy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Happy in the dark. Posts: 93,664	Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahaha! __________________ Vacares - Web Hosting, Domains, O365, Security & More - Paxum and BTC Accepted Windows VPS now available Great for TSS, Nifty Stats, remote work, virtual assistants, etc.

02-12-2009, 03:53 AM	#44
dav3 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 7,348	She had a dildo with a lead core in her purse. Hopefully there was no AIDS on it when she hit you with it. __________________ Webmasters :: Juicy Ads :: ACWM :: Crak Revenue :: Money Tree

02-12-2009, 05:11 AM	#45
pornocruto Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,308	Damn, that sucks big time.

02-12-2009, 06:29 AM	#49
CarlosTheGaucho Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 9,516	__________________ CTG Media \| TG: carl_boro \| cb \|at\| ctgmedia \|dot\| net \| Read My Educational Series \| Read my Adult Biz Chronicles\|

02-12-2009, 06:53 AM	#50
A-n-D-r-E-S Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 3,949	Haha shit dude that really sucks! __________________ Adult Copywriters Hire a writer to create original content for your website.