Chuck Norris: "I May Run For President of Texas" - GoFuckYourself.com

fuzzylogic · 03-12-2009, 09:38 PM

In his column, Chuck Norris writes that he "may run for president of Texas" should it take a stand against the "wayward federal government" and its people decide to rebel "if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state."

Norris quoted John Adams and Patrick Henry, saying "desires, partisan politics and runaway spending" are favored by the president and Congress, who are "stampeding" the Constitution, adding a secular government has "bastardized" religious freedom.

He believes the nation is being taken down the same path by Republicans as Democrats, "just slower," saying "thousands of cell groups" are ready to help in secession. Problem is, Norris may not be able to be Texas president, being a native Oklahoman.

Source: www.star-telegram.com

John. · 03-12-2009, 09:39 PM

Good man chuck

uno · 03-12-2009, 09:39 PM

I knew he was a weirdo when he supported Huckabee.

Snake Doctor · 03-12-2009, 09:41 PM

Chuck Norris won't run for President of Texas.

Texas will run for Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris becomes President of Texas, the world will then have 2 superpowers.
Texas, and Chuck Norris.

Spunky · 03-12-2009, 09:42 PM

Chuck will be president one day

fuzzylogic · 03-12-2009, 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snake Doctor

Texas will run for Chuck Norris.

SLOWDOWN ILL CUM TOO FAST · 03-12-2009, 09:47 PM

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

CDSmith · 03-12-2009, 09:50 PM

President Norris.

It's just a matter of when, not if.

pocketkangaroo · 03-12-2009, 09:53 PM

Funny how the patriotic guys are the first ones to talk secession when their side loses an election.

MattO · 03-12-2009, 09:54 PM

Ace_luffy · 03-12-2009, 10:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MattO

viva

fuzzylogic · 03-12-2009, 10:45 PM

is it true that conan obrien's use of the walker ranger lever is responsible for chuck's rise from obscurity?

Iron Fist · 03-12-2009, 11:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SLOWDOWN ILL CUM TOO FAST

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Voodoo · 03-12-2009, 11:09 PM

I'm going to run for King of L.A. County.

Danny B · 03-12-2009, 11:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snake Doctor

Texas will run for Chuck Norris.

Angry Jew Cat - Banned for Life · 03-13-2009, 01:14 AM

ya for chuxas

ChubbyChecksRob · 03-13-2009, 01:32 AM

Once ate a live turtle, some hours later he crapped it out and it was six feet tall and new karate. I believe this was the start of the teenage mutant ninja turtles.

bobby666 · 03-13-2009, 02:44 AM

yeah and free weapons for all

Splum · 03-13-2009, 02:51 AM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Militia

GatorB · 03-13-2009, 03:02 AM

I'm not so sure why you guys ge such a hard-on for Norris. He wants prayer in public school, creationism taught in school, the Bible taught in school and is anti-porn.

stonehammer · 03-13-2009, 03:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snake Doctor

Chuck Norris won't run for President of Texas.

Texas will run for Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris becomes President of Texas, the world will then have 2 superpowers.
Texas, and Chuck Norris.

LOL....how true

seeandsee · 03-13-2009, 03:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snake Doctor

Texas will run for Chuck Norris.

fuzzylogic · 03-13-2009, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GatorB

I'm not so sure why you guys ge such a hard-on for Norris. He wants prayer in public school, creationism taught in school, the Bible taught in school and is anti-porn.

because people like him are the highest porn consumers!

_Richard_ · 03-13-2009, 10:39 AM

"Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away."

PornMD · 03-13-2009, 12:25 PM

Funny, my nickname for Bush used to be Walker, Texas President (Walker referring to the W). Guess I can't use that now - thanks Chuck.

Redmanthatcould · 03-13-2009, 12:33 PM

When running for President of Texas, Chuck Norris' last name was inadvertently spelled with only one R. In response, Chuck Norris put the entire state "on timeout", but placing it in his back pocket.

PornMD · 03-13-2009, 12:38 PM

Once, Chuck Norris took a monster dump in Texas. Today, Houston is still thriving.

Lol I suck at making these up.

notoldschool · 03-13-2009, 12:40 PM

Chuck Norris is a real retard.

Redmanthatcould · 03-13-2009, 12:53 PM

As President of Texas, Chuck Norris made it his first order of business to rid the country of all crime. How? He looped a video clip of a roundhouse kick on all TV stations.

Maxi Caballero · 03-13-2009, 12:56 PM

Read this earlier today, still not sure what to think

jimmy-3-way · 03-13-2009, 01:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fuzzylogic

He believes the nation is being taken down the same path by Republicans as Democrats, "just slower," saying "thousands of cell groups" are ready to help in secession. Problem is, Norris may not be able to be Texas president, being a native Oklahoman.

Source: www.star-telegram.com

If Texas really wanted to go I'd volunteer to head down with a Ditch Witch and help cut them loose and push them into the gulf.

(Apologies to LAJ.)

Snake Doctor · 03-13-2009, 01:16 PM

fuzzylogic · 03-13-2009, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VS_Jeff

As President of Texas, Chuck Norris made it his first order of business to rid the country of all crime. How? He looped a video clip of a roundhouse kick on all TV stations.

this one is funny.

John-ACWM · 03-13-2009, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snake Doctor

Chuck Norris won't run for President of Texas.

Texas will run for Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris becomes President of Texas, the world will then have 2 superpowers.
Texas, and Chuck Norris.

Ayla_SquareTurtle · 03-13-2009, 01:50 PM

It will never happen. He's an Okie.

Snake Doctor · 03-13-2009, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ayla_SquareTurtle

It will never happen. He's an Okie.

It'll happen if Chuck wants it to happen.

Chuck Norris cannot predict the future; the future just better fucking do what Chuck Norris says.

Redmanthatcould · 03-13-2009, 02:59 PM

As President of Texas, Chuck Norris will make his Chun Kuk Do the official religion, the Desert Eagle .50 the official bird, and his beard will be the official flower.

seeric · 03-13-2009, 03:01 PM

chuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DarkJedi · 03-13-2009, 03:39 PM

Holy crap, he's serious? I thought it was some sort of joke. Revolution over Obama's presidency?

I take it these people are completely alienated from reality? Every day I'm a little more glad I don't live in America.

did anyone tell Chuck that he's just an actor and not really a kick ass commando? maybe like Reagan he doesn't know this.

DarkJedi · 03-13-2009, 03:40 PM

It's like an internet meme creates reality. Obama should be afraid, very afraid.

CHUCK NORRIS ONCE CREATED HIS OWN NATION BECAUSE HE DIDN'T LIKE THE DIRECTION HIS OLD NATION WAS TAKING.

Puremeds-J · 03-13-2009, 03:54 PM

notoldschool · 03-13-2009, 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Puremeds-J

Redmanthatcould · 03-13-2009, 03:57 PM

The big issues President Norris will have to face with Texas are energy & economy. His energy solution is to add a drop of his own blood to each power plant, and to remedy the economic crisis, he is sending each Texan a strand of his own hair.

fetisher · 03-13-2009, 04:05 PM

Did old Chucky catch alzheimers by any chance? Sure seems like it to me.

fuzzylogic · 03-13-2009, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VS_Jeff

The big issues President Norris will have to face with Texas are energy & economy. His energy solution is to add a drop of his own blood to each power plant, and to remedy the economic crisis, he is sending each Texan a strand of his own hair.

EscortBiz · 03-13-2009, 04:37 PM

Schmuck Norris

_Richard_ · 03-13-2009, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VS_Jeff

As President of Texas, Chuck Norris will make his Chun Kuk Do the official religion, the Desert Eagle .50 the official bird, and his beard will be the official flower.

crockett · 03-13-2009, 05:11 PM

Humm my name's sake tried to do that once..didn't work out so well for him..

Redmanthatcould · 03-13-2009, 06:18 PM

President Norris decided to not sever all ties to the US, by keeping the USD with one minor change: the line "In God We Trust" will be officially changed to "In Chuck We Trust Or Else"

Redmanthatcould · 03-13-2009, 06:24 PM

Rather than the traditional inaugural speech, after President Norris was sworn in (left hand over his autobiography, naturally) he bent steel rods with his mind for 15 minutes. Any Texans in attendance that did not applaud were consequently bent as well.

03-12-2009, 09:38 PM	#1
fuzzylogic Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: buffalo, las vegas. icq: 285808879 Posts: 4,796	Chuck Norris: "I May Run For President of Texas" In his column, Chuck Norris writes that he "may run for president of Texas" should it take a stand against the "wayward federal government" and its people decide to rebel "if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state." Norris quoted John Adams and Patrick Henry, saying "desires, partisan politics and runaway spending" are favored by the president and Congress, who are "stampeding" the Constitution, adding a secular government has "bastardized" religious freedom. He believes the nation is being taken down the same path by Republicans as Democrats, "just slower," saying "thousands of cell groups" are ready to help in secession. Problem is, Norris may not be able to be Texas president, being a native Oklahoman. Source: www.star-telegram.com

03-12-2009, 09:39 PM	#2
John. Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Europe Posts: 2,264	Good man chuck __________________ Sig too old.

03-12-2009, 09:39 PM	#3
uno RIP Dodger. BEST.CAT.EVER Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: NYC Area Posts: 18,450	I knew he was a weirdo when he supported Huckabee. __________________ -uno icq: 111-914 CrazyBabe.com - porn art MojoHost - For all your hosting needs, present and future. Tell them I sent ya!

03-12-2009, 09:41 PM	#4
Snake Doctor I'm Lenny2 Bitch Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: On top of my soapbox Posts: 13,449	Chuck Norris won't run for President of Texas. Texas will run for Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris becomes President of Texas, the world will then have 2 superpowers. Texas, and Chuck Norris. __________________ sig too big

03-12-2009, 09:42 PM	#5
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,940	Chuck will be president one day __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

03-12-2009, 09:47 PM	#7
SLOWDOWN ILL CUM TOO FAST Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 205	There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control. __________________ EXCLUSIVE AMATEUR PAYSITES hit me up for a partnership invitation seeek u - 580-004-910

03-12-2009, 09:50 PM	#8
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	President Norris. It's just a matter of when, not if. __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

03-12-2009, 09:53 PM	#9
pocketkangaroo Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 8,452	Funny how the patriotic guys are the first ones to talk secession when their side loses an election.

03-12-2009, 09:54 PM	#10
MattO The O is for Oohhh Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: AUSTIN TEJAS Posts: 10,861

03-12-2009, 10:45 PM	#12
fuzzylogic Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: buffalo, las vegas. icq: 285808879 Posts: 4,796	is it true that conan obrien's use of the walker ranger lever is responsible for chuck's rise from obscurity?

03-12-2009, 11:09 PM	#14
Voodoo ♥ ♦ ♣ ♠ Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Porn Valley, CA Posts: 10,590	I'm going to run for King of L.A. County. __________________ "I'm selflessly supporting the common good, but only coincidentally looking out for No.1."

03-13-2009, 01:14 AM	#16
Angry Jew Cat - Banned for Life (felis madjewicus) Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: In Mom & Dad's Basement Posts: 20,368	ya for chuxas

03-13-2009, 01:32 AM	#17
ChubbyChecksRob Registered User Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 42	Chuck Norris.... Once ate a live turtle, some hours later he crapped it out and it was six feet tall and new karate. I believe this was the start of the teenage mutant ninja turtles. __________________ Chubby Checks - Fat Chicks make Fat Checks 462470861

03-13-2009, 02:44 AM	#18
bobby666 boots are my religion Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Heart of europe Posts: 21,765	yeah and free weapons for all __________________

03-13-2009, 02:51 AM	#19
Splum Confirmed User Join Date: May 2003 Location: USA Posts: 6,195	http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Militia

03-13-2009, 03:02 AM	#20
GatorB The Demon & 12clicks Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: SallyRand is a FAGGOT Posts: 18,208	I'm not so sure why you guys ge such a hard-on for Norris. He wants prayer in public school, creationism taught in school, the Bible taught in school and is anti-porn.

03-13-2009, 10:39 AM	#24
_Richard_ Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Earth Posts: 30,989	"Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away."

03-13-2009, 12:25 PM	#25
PornMD Mainstream Businessman Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: San Diego Posts: 9,291	Funny, my nickname for Bush used to be Walker, Texas President (Walker referring to the W). Guess I can't use that now - thanks Chuck. __________________ Want to crush it in mainstream with Facebook ads? Hit me up.

03-13-2009, 12:33 PM	#26
Redmanthatcould Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 2,771	When running for President of Texas, Chuck Norris' last name was inadvertently spelled with only one R. In response, Chuck Norris put the entire state "on timeout", but placing it in his back pocket.

03-13-2009, 12:38 PM	#27
PornMD Mainstream Businessman Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: San Diego Posts: 9,291	Once, Chuck Norris took a monster dump in Texas. Today, Houston is still thriving. Lol I suck at making these up. __________________ Want to crush it in mainstream with Facebook ads? Hit me up.

03-13-2009, 12:40 PM	#28
notoldschool Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 5,687	Chuck Norris is a real retard. __________________ No doubt one may quote history to support any cause, as the devil quotes scripture. -- Learned Hand http://www.bjpenn.com

03-13-2009, 12:53 PM	#29
Redmanthatcould Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 2,771	As President of Texas, Chuck Norris made it his first order of business to rid the country of all crime. How? He looped a video clip of a roundhouse kick on all TV stations.

03-13-2009, 12:56 PM	#30
Maxi Caballero Registered User Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 42	Read this earlier today, still not sure what to think __________________ CaballeroCash.com

03-13-2009, 01:16 PM	#32
Snake Doctor I'm Lenny2 Bitch Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: On top of my soapbox Posts: 13,449	__________________ sig too big

03-13-2009, 01:50 PM	#35
Ayla_SquareTurtle Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: 5000 full paysite reviews and counting Posts: 3,550	It will never happen. He's an Okie. __________________ gone. long gone. aylasquareturtle .."a"t".. gmail dawt com

03-13-2009, 02:59 PM	#37
Redmanthatcould Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 2,771	As President of Texas, Chuck Norris will make his Chun Kuk Do the official religion, the Desert Eagle .50 the official bird, and his beard will be the official flower.

03-13-2009, 03:01 PM	#38
seeric .......... Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: .......... Posts: 41,917	chuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

03-13-2009, 03:39 PM	#39
DarkJedi No Refunds Issued. Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: GFY Posts: 28,300	Holy crap, he's serious? I thought it was some sort of joke. Revolution over Obama's presidency? I take it these people are completely alienated from reality? Every day I'm a little more glad I don't live in America. did anyone tell Chuck that he's just an actor and not really a kick ass commando? maybe like Reagan he doesn't know this.

03-13-2009, 03:40 PM	#40
DarkJedi No Refunds Issued. Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: GFY Posts: 28,300	It's like an internet meme creates reality. Obama should be afraid, very afraid. CHUCK NORRIS ONCE CREATED HIS OWN NATION BECAUSE HE DIDN'T LIKE THE DIRECTION HIS OLD NATION WAS TAKING.

03-13-2009, 03:54 PM	#41
Puremeds-J Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: The Mountains of Washington State Posts: 939	__________________ BiWeekly Payouts with no delay! - Now on NATS - $30 Per Trial - Check, Wire, Paxum! WE GOT AFRICAN MANGO! - Check out our New Reality Tour for CXPILL!

03-13-2009, 03:57 PM	#43
Redmanthatcould Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 2,771	The big issues President Norris will have to face with Texas are energy & economy. His energy solution is to add a drop of his own blood to each power plant, and to remedy the economic crisis, he is sending each Texan a strand of his own hair.

03-13-2009, 04:05 PM	#44
fetisher Registered User Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 18	Did old Chucky catch alzheimers by any chance? Sure seems like it to me.

03-13-2009, 04:37 PM	#46
EscortBiz Fuck Checks, CASH only! Join Date: May 2002 Location: New York City Posts: 19,422	Schmuck Norris __________________ Spanking, Medical Fetish, Sleeping, Strap-on Anal Lesbians, Girls Fucking Guys, Handjob site REAL HOT, Shemales, Anal and Ass Licking sites 100% Real EXCLUSIVE with amazing retention, ccbill payouts, lots of content FREE FTP HOSTING Promote the largest and oldest member paid escort site, Converts 10 times better then any dating site, CCBill payouts ICQ# 158802076

03-13-2009, 05:11 PM	#48
crockett in a van by the river Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 76,806	Humm my name's sake tried to do that once..didn't work out so well for him.. __________________ In November, you can vote for America's next president or its first dictator.

03-13-2009, 06:18 PM	#49
Redmanthatcould Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 2,771	President Norris decided to not sever all ties to the US, by keeping the USD with one minor change: the line "In God We Trust" will be officially changed to "In Chuck We Trust Or Else"