Friend on meth, how do I help get him off?

[whatif_3]

I have a friend that ive known for close to 10 years, really cool guy, very smart guy with a great job. He moved away for a while and came back about 5 months ago. Last few times I was over there, there was a glass pipe and I know he has been hanging out with this girl who he claims ?has been doing meth every day since she was 12?, and think he has been very erratic with his job, if he has been going at all.

Stopped by his house yesterday and he was in the bedroom with his gf with the music on, I yelled his name a few times, and he came out, talked to me real fast giving me some excuse that made half sense and I took off.

I talked to this other close friend of his who had confronted him about the drugs and told him that he thought it had a lot to do with the girl he was hanging with, and they have not talked since

Any suggestions? Very new to this and I think im one of the last close people to him.

[Robocrop]

Sadly I talk with experience, no friends will get him off unless he wants to quit himself.

Try to be as supportive as you can tho. Goodluck dude

[jmcb420]

Dude, you cant do shit for him, trust me.

Unless he comes to you begging for help, stay out of it. Even then, I would stay out of it. Meth destroys everything and everyone involved.

[Tjeezers]

Oohh this is a very serious problem.
Make sure you do not get emotional involved in his addiction, world, and problems. That`s all i can say.

[MaDalton]

sadly it's true that addicted people need to hit the bottom first before they listen to the outside world. don't borrow him money is all i can say

[Iron Fist]

Supportive as in "don't lend money", "don't let him stay with you" and "don't let him invite his friends over for a small get together.."

[whatif_3]

so nothing can be done. sort of depressing

[MetaMan]

WHO CARES? only losers get addicted to drugs and you have to much time on your hands to be worrying about what he is doing.

people make their own choices when he decides he doesnt want to be a loser he wont be, that or death.

either way what can you do about it? NOTHING.

[selena]

Originally Posted by jmcb420

Even then, I would stay out of it. Meth destroys everything and everyone involved.

Sad, but QFT.

[dyna mo]

buy him some more meth, speed along the downward spiral so he hits bottom faster

[dyna mo]

and i mean the good stuff, not that brown mushy meth but the clear crystal

[MetaMan]

another question why do humans have this complex like they have to poke their nose in and "help" people? why not help people who deserve it like the guy who just lost his 20yo factory job?

you people waste your time on these drug head losers when there is a million more people out there deserving of your time.

[UFGators2007]

You wont be able to do anything until 'he' wants to stop.

[Vicious_B]

He has to want to quit and even then all you can do is be there for him.

[dyna mo]

no real addict ever wants to quit.

[Phoenix]

get him emlisted into basic training for about 6 months and shipped off to northern alberta

other then that...hes fucked

[Agent 488]

smoke the rest of his stash but keep and hide a bit of it and make his gf suck your limp cock all night trying to get it.

[SoloGirlsContent]

Originally Posted by MetaMan

another question why do humans have this complex like they have to poke their nose in and "help" people? why not help people who deserve it like the guy who just lost his 20yo factory job?

you people waste your time on these drug head losers when there is a million more people out there deserving of your time.

I agree with this.
Adults do drugs...fuck'em..they want to live like shit

[SmokeyTheBear]

get one of those storage units for a month. lock him in it with jugs of water ,vitamins and crackers.

[Marcus]

Everyone is right theres not much you can do other than force him.

My best friend of 15 years got hooked on meth and committed suicide from it. He was a very responsible conservative guy who build a successful business on his own and never missed a day of work. Then he got hooked on meth and after 4 years of struggling with it he hung himself in his apartment.
He made his addiction seem like its no big deal, just something he does once every 2 weeks to blow off steam. I had no idea he had a $1,000 a week habit, racked up massive debt, hadnt paid his taxes in years.
If you ever go to a meeting with people trying to get off of meth its sad. People that owned successful companies, large homes, lost it all and living on the streets now because of meth. They'll justify anything just to get their next hit.
My dead friend's dealer burned his house down for the insurance money so he could buy more drugs.

If I could go back in time I would have gone through his house and found his smoking materials and broken them all, ripped his phone out so his dealers cant call him and I would have told his family. I did nothing and had guilt for years over it.

[Forest]

Originally Posted by Robocrop

Sadly I talk with experience, no friends will get him off unless he wants to quit himself.

Try to be as supportive as you can tho. Goodluck dude

as someone who also has experience in this matter there really is nothing you can do unless he wants to do something about it

http://www.addictionnomore.com/am_I_an_addict.html

give him that. point him to http://www.na.org

if you want to talk to me about what both of you are going thru feel free to hit me up

[whatif_3]

Originally Posted by Marcus

Everyone is right theres not much you can do other than force him.

My best friend of 15 years got hooked on meth and committed suicide from it. He was a very responsible conservative guy who build a successful business on his own and never missed a day of work. Then he got hooked on meth and after 4 years of struggling with it he hung himself in his apartment.
He made his addiction seem like its no big deal, just something he does once every 2 weeks to blow off steam. I had no idea he had a $1,000 a week habit, racked up massive debt, hadnt paid his taxes in years.
If you ever go to a meeting with people trying to get off of meth its sad. People that owned successful companies, large homes, lost it all and living on the streets now because of meth. They'll justify anything just to get their next hit.
My dead friend's dealer burned his house down for the insurance money so he could buy more drugs.

If I could go back in time I would have gone through his house and found his smoking materials and broken them all, ripped his phone out so his dealers cant call him and I would have told his family. I did nothing and had guilt for years over it.

wow. i need to tell his family

[CDSmith]

1. Don't enable the guy in any way. No money, no nothing that says his drug using is okay with you.

2. Make sure your place is secure and that he has no key to your home. If there's any doubt, change your locks, because once an addict really approaches rock bottom they will do anything to get their next fix, and that includes breaking in and ripping off friends, family, anyone. I've seen this first hand as one of my nieces was a crack addict, and her and her boyfriend broke into my sister's place one afternoon in broad daylight and robbed them.

You may think you know your friend, but I can assure you people on the kind of drug he's on aren't thinking straight. In other words what you think you know about your friend no longer applies. Better to get on with your own life for now, and when the time comes that he hits bottom and starts showing signs of wanting help you urge him to check himself into rehab. If he's not willing to do that then cut him loose.

[Yngwie]

Originally Posted by whatif_3

so nothing can be done. sort of depressing

sad, but true. If you try to do anything to help him he will, in most cases tell you to go fuck yourself and never talk to you again. Unless, as others have mentioned, he comes to you asking for help to get him away from that shit and he's serious than help him or at least try.

Till than anything that you do will piss him off and make the situation even worse. Don't involve yourself in something that may turn your life into shit. If he's with a girl that does it than trying to help him to quit will be pointless. In order for him to actually stop he would need to get rid of her and everything else around him that would get him into it again.

There's no way he can stop while living with/dating someone that does it more than he does.

[Barefootsies]

"You can't save a nig who does not want to be saved"

Most addicts will not quit until they are ready. Whether their health is waning, or they have hit a rock bottom they acknowledge and understand. Until they have made the commitment to get, and remain, clean. There is nothing you can do.

Other than not being an enabler.

[Forest]

Originally Posted by whatif_3

so nothing can be done. sort of depressing

this is not true

you can try an intervention. it has worked for many addicts. there are professionals who will manage the intervention.

Interventions DO WORK but not for everyone

[Barefootsies]

Originally Posted by CDSmith

You may think you know your friend, but I can assure you people on the kind of drug he's on aren't thinking straight. In other words what you think you know about your friend no longer applies. Better to get on with your own life for now, and when the time comes that he hits bottom and starts showing signs of wanting help you urge him to check himself into rehab. If he's not willing to do that then cut him loose.

Also absolutely correct.

Your "friend" is dead. All that is left is a shell. Addiction has become that empty vessel. It has a sole, overwhelming, single minded motivation. Getting high. Achieving that one goal is by any means necessary.

Whether they are chasing the dragon, or they are just trying to avoid the withdrawal symptoms. An addict can justify stealing, robbing, or whatever it takes to get their drugs.

[Barefootsies]

Originally Posted by Forest

this is not true

you can try an intervention. it has worked for many addicts. there are professionals who will manage the intervention.

Interventions DO WORK but not for everyone

They work for those who still have some soul left.

Some addicts who are not so far gone that they still understand loss, love, and have some form of shame and humility.

Agreed. Interventions work on 'some'. But that is only ONE step in a process to get clean. You have to admit you have a problem. Then get help. Then make a commitment to remain clean.

The boo hoos are just one's step in that process.

[D Ghost]

Originally Posted by Robocrop

Sadly I talk with experience, no friends will get him off unless he wants to quit himself.

Try to be as supportive as you can tho. Goodluck dude

Exactly right... has to want to help himself first... you can only do so much, and by trying to force him you may make it worse. He might just have to hit rock bottom before he realizes what he's doing to himself and his family/friends

[Forest]

Originally Posted by Barefootsies

They work for those who still have some soul left.

Some addicts who are not so far gone that they still understand loss, love, and have some form of shame and humility.

Agreed. Interventions work on 'some'. But that is only ONE step in a process to get clean. You have to admit you have a problem. Then get help. Then make a commitment to remain clean.

The boo hoos are just one's step in that process.

interventions are really about getting the addict to treatment. Once in treatment its then completly up to that addict if he wants to do the work to get and stay clean and change his life

admitting you have a problem in an intervention scenario really will not come until after they enter treatment. many people who enter treatment via an intervention realy do so because a forced bottom is created by those in his/her life.

[JockJuiceContent]

lock him up in your basement untill the withdrawls are over... Then slap him and tell him to straighten up.. The rest is up to him

[Barefootsies]

Originally Posted by Forest

interventions are really about getting the addict to treatment. Once in treatment its then completly up to that addict if he wants to do the work to get and stay clean and change his life

admitting you have a problem in an intervention scenario really will not come until after they enter treatment. many people who enter treatment via an intervention realy do so because a forced bottom is created by those in his/her life.

As I previously had said. In the end, it comes down to THEM wanting to get, and stay, clean.

[collegeboobies]

sex on meth is a hell of a drug

[Tam]

My 20 year old son was testing the waters on drugs and drinking and these are two things I don't tolerate even for a split second as their mom. Social drinking aside, he was driving drunk and so on.... doing really dangerous shit and I told him I'd have his ass arrested if I caught him driving drunk and especially if he had his daughter in the car with him, as I had heard he had done a time or two. I kicked him out of my house because of this, and trust me, nothing hurts worse than kicking your kids out in the street........ BUT........

I have 2 other kids in the house and I didn't want them to think for a second that this was acceptable. So I had a decision to make and as a result, I didn't get to see my grand daughter for about 3-4 months. I told him if it didn't stop, I'd take steps to take her away from him if this didn't stop... she was less than 6 months old at this time.

He moved in with his friends who were doing meth and he was headed down that road. He came by my house one day and I had gotten wind of this before he came in my door. I looked him in his face and asked him what his feelings were on burying his child, and he gave me the most horrified look like I had lost what was left of my mind. And he asked me why I'd say such a thing to him..... and I told him "Look, you are either going to put her in the car and get her killed, one of your friends will, OR you will get busted and lose her that way, but either way, you stand to lose her forever doing this"

A month or so later, he came back to us and needed to get out of that environment, I sent him 45 miles away from his friends to stay with his older sister, god bless her for being such a great sister, and he was a safe distance away to see what he was doing. Now he is clean and he has a drink or so every now and then socially, but he knows the limits and rules.

Standing back and doing nothing at all has never been my strong suit when it involves someone I care so deeply for..... but also coddling them isn't what is needed in my opinion either. They need to know that THEY aren't the only ones that stand to get hurt by their addiction, it's selfish to even go there, others that they care about are hurting deeply and they have to know this..... sometimes it helps them and sometimes they just are so wrapped in it that they don't care, but in MY head, I HAVE to do and say whatever I can to make them see that everyone around them is scared for them and hurts over it.

[dyna mo]

Originally Posted by whatif_3

I have a friend that ive known for close to 10 years, really cool guy, very smart guy with a great job. He moved away for a while and came back about 5 months ago. Last few times I was over there, there was a glass pipe and I know he has been hanging out with this girl who he claims ?has been doing meth every day since she was 12?, and think he has been very erratic with his job, if he has been going at all.

Stopped by his house yesterday and he was in the bedroom with his gf with the music on, I yelled his name a few times, and he came out, talked to me real fast giving me some excuse that made half sense and I took off.

I talked to this other close friend of his who had confronted him about the drugs and told him that he thought it had a lot to do with the girl he was hanging with, and they have not talked since

Any suggestions? Very new to this and I think im one of the last close people to him.

i really don't see anything in this description of the situation that warrants an intervention or, for that matter, anything.

[James124]

In my experience there are 2 kinds of people. Those that can say no to stupid friends with bad ideas, and those that never can. Stay away from him. He's not the same person, you knew. Avoid druggies like the plague...

[RobertD]

Break off any and all contact and move on.

Later!

[JD]